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Latest Activity: Feb 14
BBL35 I know exactly how you feel. It has been 18 months for me too. I am in the process of moving into an apartment with my daughter. We have become pretty close. My sons both have their own lives so we are pretty much alone. I have 2 penpals through this group which I write to when I can and that is about it. It is very lonely but on the other hand I do not think I will ever want to be with anyone again that way. It hurts too much to lose them. Take care and know you are not alone in your feelings.
Terry, I think you are very brave to be bold enough to quit. At times, I would love to do that myself. Other times, reality sinks in, and I hear my logical/analytical husband saying "what? you need the benefits"! So, I am still going to work. I work 4 10s - so that at least gives me 3 days of not having to go to work. I can see that it would be easy for me to become a hermit if I didn't work - so probably for the best for me. I have felt that I haven't been as good of an employee over the past 2+ years - but I do feel that my mind is finally beginning to get back to being able to focus and concentrate better. It has really surprised me the memory issues that I've had. Luckily I read about others in grief having those issues - or I would have thought I was really losing it! My boss has been wonderful through all of this - so I am blessed. Best wishes to you for following your heart/dreams.
Terry, I think you will find you are relieved to not be under the stress of the job anymore. Fill your time with your interests and passions and maybe just relax!!
The clock continues to progress towards my last day at work on the 29th. A huge part of me is mourning another loss as I let go of this job and the people that saw me through my wife's illness and eventually her death. If I am honest with myself, I never saw myself leaving the workforce this soon (56) and the prospect of all of this time on my hands is pretty daunting. I just found over the last two years I could no longer be the person my job required of me. The demands that were made seemed trivial compared to what I have gone through over the last 7 years of illness and bereavement. I thought the sleepless nights would end once I had made my decision but they have only gotten worse as I lay awake at night wondering if I have just ruined my life. Time will tell. Perhaps I will go back to looking at it as a year off to be good to me as opposed to a permanent move.
My daughter and her fiancé of 9 years broke up this week. He completely blind sided her and she is devastated. She has to tell her son, my grandson. It breaks my heart. He lost his best friend and Grandpa 21 months ago and now in many ways he will lose the man who has been in his life since he was 9 and is now 16. Added to losing Ken I feel like everything is falling apart. They have two hotels that are up for sale and right now its up in the air where she will ultimately move to. I am trying to live one day at a time and not worry about the future. I just turned 70 and while I am adjusting to life without my darling husband in small ways I have such a long way to go. I am so sad
Oh Terry, I am glad for you that you made this decision although it will definitely be an adjustment. I retired 10 days before my husband died as we had many plans. Having open ended time and not having to "be on" can be a real relief. On the other hand, its a lot of open ended hours so I hope and pray your volunteer work and other passions will fill the gap. I am praying for you. Let's keep in touch
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