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Widowed in 2015

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Latest Activity: Dec 1

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Comment by Mary H on September 17, 2019 at 3:14pm

My health deteriorated massively at first as well, the trauma just nearly kills us, doesn't it?  But I have been turning things around just lately, did 23andMe and then StrateGene for personal health recommendations, and then Intermittent Fasting.  I feel a lot better.  I don't really feel as if I have that much i want to live for either, my kids are growing up to independence as well and I think kids that lose a parent, they are more independent of the remaining parent than otherwise, and then, my life is not as it was going to be, I really liked where I was, and not so much anymore.  But I'm still here, so I figure I may as well make the most of it.  Which, considering I just wanted to die too for the longest time, it's good progress for me.  I hope that you will find some closeness to your lost loved ones on your four year days without and Charlotteelse, our thoughts are with you.

Comment by Charlotteelsie on September 17, 2019 at 2:18pm

Hi Thanks for your posts. Its four years for me on Friday. Feels like forty. Cant stop crying last few days. My daughters off for second year of college Sunday. Life seems pointless. Im really struggling with empty nest even after one year of her away. And can find little purpose for life. Its very scarey. My heAlth has deteriorated massive ly in last four years as well. 

I cling to daily small things and friends.

Best wishes

Comment by Mary H on September 17, 2019 at 1:37pm

I understand why you posted this without.  They lived, and they were so important to us, and its like we have one foot in two worlds, our together world, and this after world.  My youngest hardly remembers anything about her Dad.  Just being told he'd died and going back to sleep sure she would wake up and it wouldn't be true.  She's a teenager now, and has started assuming some teenager-y anti establishment things about him, and I have had to tell her what a great man he was and that she ought to be proud he was her dad.  It's so, so strange.  I remember everything.  Every moment, it feels like, sometimes.  He was so present in the world, and now, mostly just in me.

Comment by without on September 17, 2019 at 12:58pm

Tomorrow will be 4 years. I didn't take time of work this year, the first time that I left it open like this. I think I will take a sick day tomorrow. Its definitely not as bad as it was the last 3 years. Its kind of strange that way, a part of me feels guilty for it. As the day goes on I feel more and more sick. I'm also dealing with family issues and working overtime, which is not helpful. I don't even know the point of this post, just wanted to say something.

Comment by Charlotteelsie on July 26, 2019 at 10:59am

hi Hope,

Thanks for your post. I have definitely changed a lot mentally and physically over the last four years. Ill health had been a constant companion. Also my daughter went off to college. The empty nest thing on top of everything has taken so long to get used to. 

Comment by Don on July 26, 2019 at 10:48am

Hiya Hope, welcome back! 

Join us in the chatroom in the morning for cawffee.  I can attest to the aging and living alone challenge.

Comment by Nardly on July 26, 2019 at 10:41am

Hey Hope, good to hear from you. The aging part is a bitch. Both physically and mentally. So what has changed in the last four years? 

Comment by Hope on July 26, 2019 at 10:26am

I’m back. after 4 years. Doing much better overall but finding aging and living alone a challenge 

Comment by Charlotteelsie on April 16, 2019 at 9:21am

Dear CinPan, So sorry to hear how hard it is for you. Anniversaries and holidays are horrid. Easter is hard. Ive been struggling myself its 3 1/2years for me and my only daughter went to college in Sept and nothing in life has any meaning. We had planned to move to France on retirement and Im stuck. Notre Dame yest was a shock as my partner was French and very religious. My only consolation at times is a friend whose husband died 12 years ago as she knows. I have no social life Ive tried a few dates but it has been very odd.. Friends who havnt this experience seem to think I can get on with life but anything new is torture. My partner has come in my dreams a few times which has been a shock as this is new and Ive noticed places we used to go are changing. Its definately a hard time. Best wishes Charlotte 

Comment by Mary H on April 12, 2019 at 6:46am

CinPan, it's a very hard time, losing your husband just at that time when your children are growing away from you.  That's the stage of our lives where it is just give, smile, support and their minds are elsewhere, looking forwards.  I have three, 14 to 20, with two away at college, and the youngest is planning to cook me a dinner for my birthday, which is this weekend.  I was telling her how much I appreciated it, and how I hadn't even expected anyone to remember, and tears just started streaming down my cheeks.  I've really entered a much better and more peaceful place in recent months, so I hadn't even known I was sad, I'm just so used to, now, just giving and getting nothing back.  When we begin to lose everyone that we used to pour all of our love into, it's time to start pouring that love back into ourselves.

 

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