I have had several widowed friends tell me to expect a dream visit from my husband. He died on November 3rd, 2016, so I'm 4 1/2 months into this never ending sadness.
Have any of you experienced these dream visits? If so, could you please explain what they feel like? I have "talked" to my Tom and asked for help when trying to fix something or find something here in the house. I have also had dreams about things in my memory bank, but to my knowledge, have not had a dream visit. One friend described it as feeling like you are actually there, with your loved one and can talk (back and forth) and she has actually felt his hand on her shoulder or a hug.
Wondering if I might be lucky enough?
Thanks for your input.
Hi GrandmaH, if I may please let me share an experience I had just this past weekend. My husband of 47 years died May 24, 2016. I have been in crisis the closer I get to our April 20th anniversary and begging God and Jimmy why I'm still here have gone unanswered. On Saturday, I went to get my hair cut, looked in the mirror, had a panic attack and told the girl to shave it off. She got upset, but I insisted. I felt I had to "get rid of myself" in order to try to "start over". Saturday night, I heard Jimmy say "Baby, bring on tomorrow 'cause I've got today..." and I woke up, fully expecting him to be standing there; his voice was so loud, so clear, I could smell the faint odour of his cigarette smoke and I was jubilant! I called his name over and over before it hit me - I wasn't awake - I was back in ICU, laying next to him waiting. I mourned his death yet AGAIN! But, in the morning when I was lucid, I believe he DID come to me in comfort, he IS looking after TODAY because I can't. Tomorrow isn't here yet, but when it gets here, we'll handle it together, like we always did. God Bless you.
Hi Debbie, Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me/us.
I know (or at least I feel strongly) that Tom is here, with me 24/7. I don't know why I believe this but I do. I understand your need to "get rid of you" to start over...what a freeing and lovely thought that is to me.
My friend has had at least 5-6 episodes of dream visits and speaks of them with such love in her voice it makes me feel so much better each time she tells me of any of them. I continue to wait for my gift. Before my Mother died back in 1997, she promised me she would "let me know" she was OK, if she could. I have yet to hear!
It will be interesting to hear of others' experiences. Thank you, again, for sharing.
I truly believe that my husband is still with me in the capacity that he can be. And, yes, I've had at least a couple of dreams/visits that I vividly recall. The first time was within 2 or 3 days after I lost him suddenly and unexpectedly to a heart attack. I could see him sleeping on my side of the bed wearing the same T-shirt and pajama bottoms he was wearing the last time I saw him. I remember reaching my arm out to him and asked if it was really him. He sleepily replied, "Of course it's me, who else would it be? Now, let me sleep." This happened in the very early morning.
The next time that I vividly remember a visit, was also in the very early morning when I felt as if he were spooning me and had his arm under my neck. I thought I had seen our canine son, a Westie, walking the edge of a window and I was telling him to get down so that he would not hurt himself. At that moment, I heard his voice say, "What? What's going on?" I said nothing and kept my eyes shut for as long as that experience would last. When I thought I had opened my eyes, he was standing in front of me just looking at me in the bed. I get emotional even typing the words because I miss him so much and those experiences don't hapen to me that often.
I have, however, experienced what I call God Winks, which are subtle or not so subtle messages that seem coincidental but I believe are genuine messages to me from my husband. I believe this because those experiences/messages mean something to me specifically. Just a week after he passed, I was perusing the bargain racks of a neighborhood Barnes and Noble and I happened upon a book called "When God Winks at You." The book in and of itself was a Wink for me. I even have a discussion on this site entitled "Have you Experienced any God Winks?" Take a look at it if you are interested and you can read some of my very specific experiences.
Perhaps after reading several experiences, mine and those of others, you may come to realize that you have experienced some of your own.
I wince a little to hear when someone is longing for a visit or sign. Sometimes they get them, sometimes not. Sometimes they are getting them and not knowing them for what they are, as they are looking for something else, something more or bigger or specific to their desires. It can be easier on you if you can decide to find him or her in everything, and count those extras as just that: extras. It doesn't make a measure of the love or devotion between you or even of their peaceful or not peaceful rest if you don't get those palpable types of dream visits or such.
That all said, I did share with both my brother and my youngest daughter the idea that I've heard that loved ones who've died often 'send' dimes to show they are near. I don't personally get into it, myself, but it mattered to my brother, when I told him, and my daughter has been finding dimes ever since, at times when she's needy and they comfort her that her dad is near. I happen to believe he's near to her, closer than he could ever have been while alive, all the time, but SHE needs those tangible gifts, and so I'm glad the dimes can be that for her. I know some people who think that when they see a cardinal, their loved one is near. You could really choose anything meaningful to you and let your loved one know you'll be watching for them...
Debbie, I'm glad for you that you had that dream and know that your Jimmy is there to accompany you and help you as you confront each new day!
My mom had the first 'experience' of my husband after his death: a scent of cigar smoke in her smoke free home. It's happened a second time to her, and I also had an experience smelling the cigar smoke once at home, where it would not be. I also have had two dreams which I described in another similar thread on this site. I was not happy in my marriage and we'd not been physically close in some time, but I dreamt that he gave me a hug of comfort in one dream and that I gave him a hug in greeting in another. I know by my faith that he's able to be more whole and understanding and present now that he's entered eternity, than he could ever have been here on earth. When I think of him, I realize that he's his whole entire essence, all of the persons he's ever been all at once, now. He's the innocent child, the naïve youth, the carefree young man, the proud dad, etc... Hope that makes sense.
My husband died October 30, 2016, just a few days before yours. I had a few dreams right in the beginning where I was realizing that he was either not really dead or coming back to life, and I was stressed about if I should let his mother know or not (She and I had a lot of conflict in his last days, and she actually kept me from seeing him his last day, as he was in hospice at her house). The closest I had to a comforting dream was a few months later. I dreamed that a friend had come over to get a cigarette (I have been selling him my husband's last carton of cigarettes a quarter at a time), and when he came in the house, my husband was sitting at my desk smoking in the house. I looked at my husband, said something like, "I'm sorry baby, but I'm selling all your cigarettes" and he looked at me and shrugged. It seemed so real. I haven't had any other dreams about my husband.
I think it's interesting how a lot of the dreams people are mentioning involve smoking.
My husband, John, died Nov. 10, 2016 and it wasn't until March when I started having dreams with him in them. One particular one I remember touching him and saying "you can't be dead. I can feel you!" It was a little disturbing when I woke up but probably a common kind of dream. One strange thing did happen in January. Our younger son and family came to visit. Granddaughter and I were sitting on the floor playing a board game when I felt a strong prescense beside me and when I turned my head a couple of times I kept catching a dark shadow out of the corner of my eye. I believe John was saying hello to to us. He adored his granddaughter. Made all of us quite happy to think he had not moved on before saying hello!
I have dream visits . They are wonderful. It gives me strength for the next day. I need all the help I can get.
About a week after Rick passed, my daughter called me to tell me that she had an extremely vivid dream of Rick walking through a doorway with a huge smile on his face, laughing and he was so happy. He picked her up and swung her around like he did when she was little... and then he was gone.
A night or two later, I was just starting to nod off when I felt like he was holding me. I was so tempted to turn to see and kiss his face but I knew he wouldn't be there so for that one night.. I felt him there with me.
I've had a few dreams but they aren't good. Reliving his final minutes, painful moments during his illness. I seem to have them around the 13th or 14th of the month. He passed on the 15th.