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It's been a while since I've been on here.  My husband died July 2016.  I'm still hurting bad, especially at night time .  I'd love to be asleep right now , but it's so painful just getting ready for bed and then sliding into my bed is just awful . Once I force myself in the bed , I just lay here and it all floods back into my brain.  I'm alone.  He's gone.  He's never coming back.  Then I start thinking about it all and can't stop.  Next thing I know its midnight and I'm still awake and miserable.  Sleep is a relief from the pain, but its real hard to let go and fall asleep.  I do take sleeping pills but a lot of times , my pain is more powerful than the pills and I can't sleep.  Does anyone else have trouble with their grief being stronger at night?  

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susan,  Yes!  It's wonderful to hold my grandson.  I love it when he lays his head on my shoulder and I can hug him tight. I hug him and always think about Mike.  I was thinking that no one holds me like that anymore.  I really miss it.  



   I love the picture! Cute overalls. ;-) I bought Summit a pair. He might be big enough to wear them next year.

  Sometimes I Crave to be held.  Just human contact. It sure helps to know that there are others who feel like I do




    Tomorrow the church I go to is holding a Mass for all of those who passed away last year. Linda, The lady who organizes this every year told me that there is a candle with Paul's name on it. So I'll be there tomorrow.

    In the meantime, I'm still sleeping with my phone, radio, iPad, pillows etc. around me.  I guess I'm a material girl. Does anyone else do this? Or am I a little on the strange side?



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