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I'm moving-lived her 25 years and can't bear to stay here alone. It's too big of a house for one person and all the memories. I've been going through so many "Things" I had forgotten belonged to her, things she had put away. As I empty drawers out will come a key-chain of hers, or even the lip balm she would use in the winter. Yesterday I was emptying out the "Stuff" from under the sink in the bathroom and came across a box. I opened up and the wig she wore when she lost all of her hair to chemotherapy. I teared up at that point. I got rid of her clothes months ago but still come across memories. I found her job evaluations that she kept-I'm keeping them-they attest to her strong work ethic. There is a picture of us both in Costa Rica on our Honeymoon I found in a book she loved--been 8 months and I still get "Grief Bombs." Man this can really suck ya know?

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Soulmate.  Eight  months is a brief time~ your grief is still raw.  Where it may or may not get "better"  it will change with  time.  The one thing  we want is to have the hurting stop  BUT  grief  carries its own time table and will not be rushed.  One day at a time we move forward  enduring  the pain of our loss- each journey is different.  Yours will be unique  as well. Keep on keeping on and in time  you too will be able  to reflect  back on this time...We heal by going forward.

I hear you.  What I find disconcerting is finding things with my husband's handwriting on them.  I don't know why- maybe because handwriting is so personal?

I've donated a lot of his things- did that early on- but there are still things to be discarded/donated/recycled.  There are some things I will keep forever including a few of his flannel shirts and his Navy duffel bag, even though it makes more sense.  His duffel bag is marked with places he was based, including Keflavik, Iceland and I'm actually flying into Keflavik next month- but traveling with a duffel bag would be cumbersome!  So, it sits in the closet.

You have my sympathy with the necessity to make all these decisions quickly because you're moving.

Oh boy, can I relate to this. I'm also downsizing to move and going through 30+ years of things; his and mine. It's definitely a bittersweet journey.

It's like that old Dionne Warwick song, "Always Something There to Remind Me".

So sorry for your loss and prayers to you for strength. 

Hi Soulmate,

   Paul passed away on Dec. 7, 2016. ( Almost 9 months ago in Aug.) ... I'm still going through his stuff.. Some of it wasn't too hard because it knew giving clothes to family was helping them. It was cold then. ... But now it's getting hard. ... Will there ever come a time when this won't hurt?


Im sorry for your loss. I understand what you're going through. I only got rid of my wife's clothes two weeks ago and she passed last June. I still have so much of her stuff but at times I just cannot get rid of it. It will stick with me forever I suppose. 

It's weird that you say you're moving because I have thought about leaving my home too. We bought it together and although it's not a huge house it's still too big for just me and honestly I hate being here without her. I know it's a huge decision and I'm still not 100% sure Im going to do it but I am thinking about it. 

I wish you all the best with your move and everything else you do.


I feel your pain. My wife is now gone nine months and everything of hers is still in place. I can't bear to touch a thing. In my heart I want to leave it there in case she returns. In my mind I know this is only a dream. And yes, the house is lonely. When I come home from work I cry for her. As I have said in other posts, I am having so much trouble trying to cope. The advice that has been given to me is to let things sit - don't worry about when is right to get rid of things. Hope this helps.

My rings remain where my husband placed them on our wedding day. His ring occupies my left index finger, where I placed it as they rolled him into surgery. I told him I'd wear it until he was out of recovery and I could put it back on his hand. I had to move after he passed because I couldn't afford to stay on one income so most of our belongings are in storage - but I can't get rid of his things. Like you, I want to keep his things in case he returns; I know he can't, but somehow that doesn't matter. He's been gone for nearly two years and every day is still a struggle.

I wear Helens wedding ring on my left hand little finger and the last ring I bought her, a buckle ring on my right little finger.  I to will move out of our to big house at some stage its at that point that I will have to start going through her things - makes me cry to even think about it.


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