How is everyone doing? I thought I'd list some things I'm still feeling and new feelings or realizations. I'm still lonely. I still have nightmares. I love being with my grandsons, I'm starting to really get into gardening, I got a new yearling filly, I'm starting to gather up my husband's clothes and take them to goodwill, I still wear my wedding rings, I need something to look forward to, I don't want to hear anymore from married friends that want to tell me all about their trips together, I hate not saying "our", I feel like I'm the only one who misses my husband, because no one ever says his name or speaks of him, I still need him, I'm learning how to do things I've never done before, I'm still confused as to who I am or who I will become , I don't cry anymore , my dogs are a life saver, the only time I don't feel pain is when I'm riding my horses, my dad has become like my best friend, but he's 78 and I'm scared of when he will die and leave me, I've made some changes to the house, new furniture, new landscaping, new deck on the back. Guess I'll stop there.