Well, I just stopped going to see the grief counselor. It has been 16 months of on again and off again visits.
The counselor was moving me to accept a “new chapter” in my life, none of which included talking about my wife. It was more about resetting my life and interactions with my children, what to do with my life now, and so on.
But I am just not ready for that discussion yet. I still want to talk extensively about my wife, the things I do for her in her memory and how I miss hear dearly.
Yes, it has been sixteen months now, but I am still not ready to move on from her. She is the love of my life and is constantly on my mind. I do go through the motions of surviving every day, but I can’t give the majority of my time planning my future without my wife.
I am just not ready for the “new chapter” yet ... not sure I ever will be ...
I am right there with you. Just stopped at 16 months, it just wasn't doing anything for me anymore. I don't know if I'll ever be ready either, but it does seem to be forced upon me whether I like it or not. Time is like that. Thinking of you.
Hi Miket. I get what you are saying. Only you know what you are truly ready for. Remember not to let others determine your timelines for you. As long as you are moving forward in some capacity, the timelines should not be forced. It may be that you do need to talk it out with a counselor, but perhaps that is not the right counselor for you, especially if he/she is not a grief counselor. I'm sending healing thoughts your way. ((Hugs))
You are not alone, you described exactly how I feel. I am 15 months out since my loving husband passed. I still only want to talk about my husband all the time, however I know people do not want to hear it so I speak to him all the time in the house and while driving in the car. I talk to him about all the great times we had together, wander down memory lane with him. My two young children and all their activities have kept our lives moving along, but I find myself not wanting to move my own personal journey forward without him. Hugs to you.
Thank you all for your comments. They mean so much to me because our situations are so very alike. I promised my wife before she passed that I would sit in her rocker and talk to her every day. And I do. I try to tell her about my day, but it doesn’t take long before I find myself crying for her. Every day. I do thank the Lord that for each day that passes I know I am one day closer to being with her again. It seems the only person keeping her memory alive is me - I don’t care what others think or say, she was my everything and for that I will be grateful. I realize also that as each day passes I am falling more and more in love with her. She is that special.