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It's taken me far too long to get up, showered and dressed today.    Some days are like this, aren't they?

Too much ruminating.    Too much time trying to "find" an answer to a way forward.  I realise I don't write "to THE way forward" - just any way forward would help.

This is what I miss

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Last night I made a comprehensive to do list for myself.

It covered outstanding administrative tasks.  Budget.  Keeping house.  Things to make life easier.  Things left undone.  Things to do for myself such as a holiday...etc.

This morning I attended the psychology class feeling extremely alert and energised for the first time.  I recently started a process of taking care of body and mind too.

My new self talk " take each breath with love because you are alive." .

This one is hard to give my thoughts on. When I think about what I miss without my wife, I lose count.

All I know is that my love for her runs deeper every day and my desire to be with her again is stronger than ever.

I still try to figure out why she was taken away and what my mission still is here on earth.

I talk to her every day but it is not the same as having her by my side.

As far as I can tell, it is not getting any easier for me. Take care ...

     Do you ever find yourself just standing still in a room, any room. And your're just not sure what to do next? Or is that just me?


Susan, I do that.  It's awful!  I do that because I'm lost without my husband. 

Not just you - but when it happens to me I chalk some of it up to just getting older ...


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