Dear Miket, It has been 16 months since my husband of 43 years passed. I know just how you feel. For me I went at the 1 year anniversary head on. One of the hardest things I've had to do ( although everything is difficult..even the small stuff). My husband loved the outdoors..so my children and grandchildren and myself planted a fruit tree and spread some of his ashes with the soil..then we watered it with his favorite beer ( he loved to brew beeer)! I also wrote a short poem to read. On top of that I went and bought 4 colored glass jars with lids, put some ashes in each one..gave my son 1 to spread while he was riding his dads motorcycle, 1 to my daughter who spread them at his favorite fishing spot, 1 to my granddaughter to spread at his favorite beach and 1 to my grandson to spread in the secret spot he and grampy shared. I also bought key chains with charms and filled the charms with ashes so that he is always with all us. I did keep some of the ashes because when I go I want us to be spread together.I know it sounds like a lot, but it made me feel good to do it.
If your wife wasn't cremated you still plant a bush or flowers, if you have kids maybe some sort of keepsake to each one ( a locket, keychain with her picture etc)
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to even try to move forward, but the days keep coming so I take each day at a time. Other than that, breathe. I try to remember that to a lot of us out here 43 years is a lifetime. And I AM very thankful for that. The tears still come everyday, but not all day and that is a start.
Just so you know the tree is thriving!
Good luck and big HUGS
Sandi, thank you so much for your contribution. I have been wrestling with how I should manage with Helens ashes. I did'nt know if I should just spread them in one spot, the one place she did talk about many years ago, or if I should separate her ashes (or even if what was right to do that??). I had eventually decided that I would spread some at the place she first talked about which is near where she was born, I would also spread some ashes on our favourite beach in Spain which we visited regularly, I would pass some to her sister to plant with a tree in her garden, I would also keep some to plant with a tree when I move into my next house and also keep some to spread with my ashes when I go. I was thinking of spreading ashes near where she was born next month on our 48th wedding anniversary, but decided I can't face that. But reading your reply really did uplift me thank you. Ray