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Next Week is the first anniversary of my wife’s passing. Our wedding anniversary was two weeks ago - it was 40 years for us. I can feel my emotions building. They had tempered a bit over the last couple of months but I still found myself crying everyday. Now things are getting active as that dreadful day approaches. I am doing what I can to honor her on that day - it is not right to me that it is just another day. I wish so much she were still here and I wish just as much that it were my time to be with her again. All I want is for her and I to be together for eternity. As that first anniversary approached for you, how did you handle it and what advice can you pass along? Warmest regards ...

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Mikel, tomorrow will be 52 weeks that my husband has been gone. October 14th will be his one year Angelversary. The morning of October 14, 2016 I went for what I call my Soul Stroll and when I came home I pulled out my paints and a canvas and I painted a picture. I set it up on the easel so Jim would see it when he came home from work. He never came home. He died of a massive heart attack at work. That painting has since been gifted to a very special Earth Angel who has been a Blessing to me during this journey of mine. To celebrate my Jim on his Angelversary, I'm going to head out for an early morning Soul Stroll and then I'm going to paint. I allow the tears to fall when they need to. I talk to Jim all the time and will continue to do so as I head into my second year.

Sending you healing ((((((hugs))))))
I am so sorry for your loss as well. Difficult to deal with. I will pray for you as well. Thank you.

Dear Miket, It has been 16 months since my husband of 43 years passed.  I know just how you feel.  For me I went at the 1 year anniversary head on. One of the hardest things I've had to do ( although everything is difficult..even the small stuff).  My husband loved the my children and grandchildren and myself planted a fruit tree and spread some of his ashes with the soil..then we watered it with his favorite beer ( he loved to brew beeer)!   I also wrote a short poem to read.  On top of that I went and bought 4 colored glass jars with lids, put some ashes in each one..gave my son 1 to spread while  he was riding his dads motorcycle, 1 to my daughter who spread them at his favorite fishing spot, 1 to my granddaughter to spread at his favorite beach and 1 to my grandson to spread in the secret spot he and grampy shared.  I also bought key chains with charms and filled the charms with ashes so that he is always with all us. I did keep some of the ashes because when I go I want us to be spread together.I know it sounds like a lot, but it made me feel good to do it.

If your wife wasn't cremated you still plant a bush or flowers, if you have kids maybe some sort of keepsake to each one ( a locket, keychain with her picture etc)

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to even try to move forward, but the days keep coming so I take each day at a time.  Other than that, breathe.  I try to remember that to a lot of us out here 43 years is a lifetime.  And I AM very thankful for that.  The tears still come everyday, but not all day and that is a start.

Just so you know the tree is thriving!

Good luck and big HUGS

Thank you for your story. I am happy to hear the tree is thriving. Yes, my wife was cremated. I should think about doing more with her ashes. Breathe. Good, simple advice. I will be thinking that next week. Warm regards ...

Sandi, thank you so much for your contribution. I have been wrestling with how I should manage with Helens ashes.  I did'nt know if I should just spread them in one spot, the one place she did talk about many years ago, or if I should separate her ashes (or even if what was right to do that??).  I had eventually decided that I would spread some at the place she first talked about which is near where she was born, I would also spread some ashes on our favourite beach in Spain which we visited regularly, I would pass some to her sister to plant with a tree in her garden, I would also keep some to plant with a tree when I move into my next house and also keep some to spread with my ashes when I go.  I was thinking of spreading ashes near where she was born next month on our 48th wedding anniversary, but decided I can't face that.  But reading your reply really did uplift me thank you.  Ray


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