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Widowed in 2016

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Members: 262
Latest Activity: Nov 2

Discussion Forum

Follow up to Nothing Compares

Started by Miket. Last reply by Melissa Nov 2. 1 Reply

Well, a week has passed since the two year anniversary of my dear wife’s departure. That day was very difficult. I am Catholic, and so the morning Mass was said in her memory. It was absolutely…Continue

Nothing Compares

Started by Miket. Last reply by Melissa Oct 17. 4 Replies

Well, next week it will be two years since I lost my wife to cancer. There has now been 730 days to think about what happened, what went wrong, and what I could have done differently. I continue to…Continue

Ugh. Dating.

Started by ImTheMarigold. Last reply by alwayssmilemichele Oct 5. 2 Replies

Coming up on two years in November. I just started to think I might want to try dating. I'm just so lonely and sad. Not what I expected for myself at 37 years old. I can't imagine anything ever being…Continue

I Heard Your Voice in the Wind Today

Started by Austin Oct 4. 0 Replies

I discovered this poem and it really radiated with me.Maybe it will bring some peace to someone else too. I Heard Your Voice In The Wind TodayI heard your voice in the wind today and I turned to see…Continue

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Comment by camsmom on November 14, 2016 at 9:46am

wyzkyd,

Your supervisor is very insensitive. You just lost your spouse 4 months ago Is there someone that can help you with the dog , the dryer, etc so that you can try to focus on work? I hate to ask for help but when I have, friends and relatives have been there for me.

It is hard- some people just don't understand what you're going through. I wish that I could tell you not to feel guilty and don't be so hard on yourself.

Comment by Mo on November 14, 2016 at 8:41am

Hi wyzkyd, your boss is out of line. You have the right to take a personal day, or a sick day. You also do not need to tell her why. Considering how unsympathetic she is, the less she knows the better. Can you take time off next week?

I have a stressful job too, but find that the structure it provides helps me go on. good luck and sending you a hug.

Comment by wyzkyd on November 14, 2016 at 8:31am

It's been four months since Ryan died.  Some days I feel like I'm getting by and others are a struggle.  I came back to work the beginning of August, not quite a month after he died and was doing fine at work but now am struggling.  My supervisor was very supportive but today it didn't feel like it.  I haven't taken a day off yet.  A couple hours here and there to take my daughter to the dentist and open the estate but that's it.  Last night my husband's dog ended up with a puncture wound and I had to take him to the emergency vet.  I got home at 2am and was exhausted.  I texted her before I ever went to the vet saying I wasn't sure if I would be in.  I texted her updates and at 2 said I was home and not planning to come in.  At 6:15 she texted to say she really hoped I'd make it for part of the day as we had a lot to do to prepare for the visit from other principals across the state.  I felt guilty and ended up coming in.  I had to drop Max (the dog) at my vet on the way to work as he was still vomiting and sick from the anesthesia.  She came in my office and basically said my absence this morning impacted the functioning of the school.  When I said I needed a day to get things done she said that wasn't fair because things couldn't all get done in one day and I needed to schedule them out after school hours but I was the only one who could decide where I was with things.  Basically I feel even worse now and wonder if a leave of absence is the way to go but am worried about how to afford that as I wouldn't get paid.  Plus, my daughters are students at my school and I think it would be detrimental to them if I took an extended leave.

And maybe it's just hard today.  I don't know how I will feel tomorrow and that is hard.  I wonder if I should consider going back into the classroom instead of being an administrator but then wonder if that would be enough for me.  It is a very hard position to be in and I'm really struggling with what to do.  My supervisor commented that she felt like my life was one crisis after another right now - and it is - husband died, dryer broke, massive bathroom leak, emergency vet . . . but I haven't chosen any of those things.  Am I being a victim?  How do I pull out of this?  And how do I decide what I need to do?  I feel paralyzed right now.

Comment by lowrsr (Sherry) on November 13, 2016 at 1:33pm

Thank you Sappho for the beautiful words and pictures. I would love to visit Greece someday! Weekends are difficult because that is when I spent the most time with my husband. I am feeling the loss most intensely today. The pictures are a welcome bright spot.

Comment by MarkD on November 12, 2016 at 10:53am

Sappho,

I also agree with you on your other comment. At work, We ave been told that there will be a 10% reduction in force (layoffs) for middle level management (right where I am. I have also told co-workers that I have already had the worst thing to happen to me in my life this year and the company cannot even come close to that. My perspective on life has changed quite a lot in the past 5 months...

Blessings, Peace, Healing and Hope for all of us and for all that are hurting... mark

Comment by MarkD on November 12, 2016 at 10:33am

What a glorious rainbow. Thanks for sharing...

Comment by Austin on November 12, 2016 at 5:57am

I also want to thank you Sappho for these pictures are magnificent.!

You are a true inspiration to us all- to be able to put aside all the negativity around you

and go enjoy yourself and share this  beautiful  scenery etc-wow!

Bless You!

Austin

Comment by camsmom on November 12, 2016 at 5:32am

sappho,

Thank you for your beautiful pics. What a nice way to start the morning of another weekend. I give you so much credit for taking a trip while dealing with your crooked lawyer and engineer- and grieving.

Your strength helps me to feel a bit more positive about the future

Comment by sappho on November 12, 2016 at 3:31am

Thank you for your lovely words Nieta.

Comment by Nieta on November 12, 2016 at 3:23am

 

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