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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2017

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2016 group. There are active conversations there with others in their first year of loss.

Members: 172
Latest Activity: on Saturday

Discussion Forum

Making new friends

Started by Mike. Last reply by Isaiah4031 Sep 19. 23 Replies

I read a lot about people who have a great support group of family and friends. But my wife was my best friend and my family is far away. So my support group is digital, either online or on the…Continue

6weeks out and overwhelming sadness

Started by Luv4Z. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Jul 20. 9 Replies

Today I have an overwhelming sadness . Im sure this is not a stranger to anyone on this site. I get so sad all of sudden . I have 4 kids under the age of 12 and they see me crying every day. I try to…Continue

A Ton of Bricks

Started by Shoosie2. Last reply by Shoosie2 May 24. 7 Replies

Hi everyoneTomorrow is the 4 1/2 month mark that my Rick left his 'earth-suit' , and it's just really hitting me hard that my Rick won't ever be back. Ever. I tried to get that through my mind and…Continue

Has Anyone had any 'Strange' things happen in your house since your spouse passed?

Started by Shoosie2. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Apr 17. 12 Replies

Good Morning EveryoneI haven't had much of a chance to post anything recently, but I do read everything. I just had to ask this question. Two days after my Rick passed, December 20, 2017, I was…Continue

Comment Wall

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You need to be a member of Widowed in 2017 to add comments!

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on October 5, 2018 at 11:11am

Hope you'll join me in the Chat Room this Sunday.

http://widowedvillage.org/events/hosted-chat-hour-for-our-new-members

Comment by Chris on August 20, 2018 at 8:51am

Hi all. This is my first post here. My husband went home to be with the Lord on 4/29/2017. Just like all of you, my life was instantly shattered. I have been working on a book to help other widows and hope to have it published very soon. Just know that there are many of us out here that can help. We are lonely and sad. I don't believe there is a "normal" after this happens. We are changed, forever. 

Comment by Melissa on August 19, 2018 at 3:13pm

Hi Ioptennis. I'm so very sorry you have to be here, and I'm so sorry about your illness. I know the feeling; there's so much busy work in those first few months, then life goes back to "normal". We're alone and at a loss. My husband and I did everything together as well, and I'm not brave enough yet to do those things alone. 

I'm trying to find a purpose. I haven't, yet. I hope someone here can be more helpful than I. 

I wish you love and comfort.

Comment by loptennis on August 19, 2018 at 2:44pm

I lost my husband on April 11, 2017.  We had been married for 48 years and I met him when I was almost 13 years old.  He was my everything and my best friend.  I have Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer which was in remission until he got sick in 2016.  My kind of cancer can return with stress and pain, it will never go away completely.  I chose to retire in October of 2016, which is the time we found out he had his Cancer.  I was able to go to his doctor visits and chemo treatments.  Sometimes I feel that God has things planned out to cover the bad times.  We were going to travel and do thing together but that didn't happen.  There were so many things to take care of with his passing because everything was in his name.  I don't know what to do with my myself because we were always together.  If anyone has any suggestions I really could use the help!!

Comment by kat on July 21, 2018 at 8:30am

Shelley, I feel the same way. Most days I don't even have the guts to get out of bed I am so paralyzed by my dreams, horrible visions, and the awful reality of facing the world. I feel like my mind has turned into butter and my soul is like honey bursting from its comb - everything is loose and just getting through the day and finding the will to want to live is an immense struggle. The weight of everything - the boundless triggers, the punches of grief that hit me all alone or when I watch television - there is no end. It feels that way. Day after day, they all start to blur. 

Comment by shelley on July 20, 2018 at 10:02pm

My life:  Wake up, crawl out of bed, shake off the dreams, do whatever it takes to get through the day.  9:00pm begin wine and drugs to encourage sleep.  Dream about searching for husband, often finding him dead.  Wake up, crawl out of bed, shake off dreams, etc.  Day after day, night after night.  My life.  

Comment by shelley on July 1, 2018 at 1:03pm

I had a dream this morning about my husband.  I don't dream about him very often and when I do, I can see him in the dream but he doesn't speak or move.  I talk to him, touch him, feel close to him, but he doesn't respond. He's just a body.  In this dream, I was at my childhood home in Syracuse, New York and I was doing household chores- washing the dishes, etc.  Then suddenly I was upstairs in my bedroom and my husband was there in my bed.  Just his body.  Just sitting there.  Then I was back downstairs telling my Mom that I had to be with John because he was leaving soon.  I went back upstairs to my room, got in bed next to John, told him that I didn't want him to go, but if he had to, I wanted to spend every possible second with him.  I said that I wanted to curl up inside of him and stay there forever.  I can still see him just sitting there on the bed not saying anything, not moving, looking straight ahead.  When I woke up, I tried to go back to the dream but couldn't.  I got up, walked the dogs, etc and when I opened my computer- there was John's obituary from Legacy.com.  I hadn't gone to any web sites, hadn't checked my emails, nothing.  And there was John's smiling face on my computer.  With Legacy.com asking me if I wanted to send flowers.  I've been crying ever since.  Can't stop.  

Comment by Mike on June 27, 2018 at 4:34am

This is a great group and has helped me a lot. For those of you on Facebook there is another group wihich I find helpful. It is Widows and Widowers, All Welcomed. I find this group helpful also. The link is below :

https://www.facebook.com/groups/347795365429216/

Comment by adoption1964 (Kim) on June 20, 2018 at 8:06am

GTG - I sent you a friend a request.  Your post hits everything I feel right now.  I was in the chat room today after being away for awhile.  I am almost 14 months out.  May 2, 2018 was my 1 year anniversary of my dear sweet husband's death. I truly thought that after the 1 year mark it would be a bit easier.  You are right everything changes.  I have changed my sleep hours, my eating habits, tv watching and the list goes on.  I am actually finding that this summer is harder than last summer.  I think last summer was truly a blur.  I walked around in a haze.  Now more memories are coming back feelings so overwhelming.  Today is not a special day but for some reason I just want to cry all day.  I have my daughter and 3 grandkids living with me.  Beautiful creative talented grandchildren, 9, 15 & 16.  I love every part of their being and my daughter.  I still find loneliness and the yearning for my husband.  We have spent the last year putting ourselves back together figuring out who we are without my husband, her father and their papa.  This is also a relationship that is definitely taking a new shape without him.  

Comment by EarthSpirit (Carol) on April 28, 2018 at 2:38pm

I’ve experienced every single one of those changes in the past 6 months. The challenge is facing each one of those changes to try and rebuild a life. For me, I know it will take the rest of my life. But my beloved husband will hold my hand every step of the way, just as he did when we were together. I believe this with all my heart.❤️

 

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