Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I read a lot about people who have a great support group of family and friends. But my wife was my best friend and my family is far away. So my support group is digital, either online or on the phone. My job is very quiet. I don’t see many people there and I go home to an empty house. I also live in a very rural area without many places to go. Does anyone have any suggestions about ways to meet people. I really would like some human interaction (not dating) but at my age I don’t know how to go about it.  I have tried “Meetup” and “Facebook Local”. But there is nothing close by. Everything is at least an hour away or late and I am still working.  I don’t want to end up being the lonely old guy who lives all alone. 

Views: 421

Replies to This Discussion

Volunteering can be a great way to meet new people. It can also be a great way to find a new purpose in life.

Thanks allmyheart,

I have been getting out a little. I have one bereavement group that is just ending and another that is trying to get off the ground. I can’t say I am eating well. That is one of my problems along with trouble sleeping. I am 3 months out and am starting to have some ok days but still have bad ones. I try to take it one day at a time but it is still a lonely journey. 

I am in the same situation as you are but I don't work . It is hard to figure out how to go out alone. I don't like alone. Tony was my best friend and we did everything together. I am 5 months out and still lost. I don't want to be the lonely old lady with cats . 

I think many of us are in the same boat......I have signed up for a few Meetup groups, an hour drive each way, but I don't think I am ready yet. I had some old friends over for lunch last Saturday, and I was drained afterwards. I still work full time, so I am around people, but the close one-on-one was hard. I think I need more time. It's been 4 months for me, and I just feel like isolating. Not good, I know.  I am going to try and stay focused on getting the yard cleaned up today and tomorrow. Baby Steps. I have one Meetup coming on 4/26, and maybe I'll feel differently by then about socializing. Mike, it really is one day at a time. When the good days come, and there have been a few, I've learned to cherish them. I hate to cook now, even though I was a French trained chef in my earlier life, but with no one else to cook for, there is no joy in cooking now. I now  just have lunch at work, as I can't be bothered to cook myself dinner. Bayoured, I'm now the old lady with dogs!  I'll be 61 on the 25th of this month, but I feel like 100. And I look like it too- stress is a bugger.

Peace to all, and let's have a good weekend.

Steph

Shoosie,
There's nothing bad about taking time out to convalesce. It doesn't lead to life as a hermit or agoraphobia - its doing what is best for you. Forced socializing is like running w/a broken leg. If you notice the advice tips for coping w/grief are not followed up w/an explanation for its supposed benefit - its all left to self interpretation & experimentation. As it is, the benefit you're suppose to be getting from socializing already exist - you have human contact as well as the ability to cope in a work environment - you're not isolated from the world like an involuntary shut-in. Its about giving attention to your mental & physical health needs - in a space you feel safe & comfortable in. It should be a priority for everyone ...
I still had to go out grocery shopping, etc, etc, but after 2 years of nursing myself in the quasi-solitude of my own home w/kids, I had a sudden rush to run out & do everything - I couldn't be held down. I was forever telling the kids, "Let's go!" - which was more like a demand than a request. That wild hair finally began to taper down after 4 years when I felt confident to pursue a life long interest ...
Recently I read a post by a widow who wrote she is exhausted from years of socializing & working to occupy herself starting from the get go. Everyone copes w/grief differently, however, its best not to ignore signals your mind & body give you ...
Blessings ...

RSS

© 2018   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service