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Hello everyone, I am new to Widowed Village, so perhaps this has been discussed before, but I find my self struggling with the vocabulary of widowhood.  My dear husband of 20 years died this last September due to complications related to his disease of Cystic Fibrosis.  He had a wonderful, large, and caring family which I most definitely now consider my own, but I recently have realized I don't know how to refer to them in casual conversation when meeting new people.  For example, is my mother-in-law still my mother-in-law?  If I tell a story and reference "the sister of my  late husband," to a person who doesn't know of my loss, it seems like it just makes for an awkward conversation.  I still struggle to use the word widow to describe myself and terms like "late husband" are not yet comfortable to me.  I guess with time, I imagine, things will feel more comfortable.  Just curious how you all have been feeling about this.

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Hi bacasino. I feel the same way. My wife passed 2 months ago yet it seems like an eternity since I have seen her. Other days thoughts come in my head like it was yesterday when she left. I am missing her so much at this moment. I hope and pray that you get through the next couple days with a strong heart and know that our spouses are with us in spirit. God bless you bacasino.

Thanks, everyone, for sharing.  It's comforting to know that I am not the only one who struggles with this.

...I recall one of my sons, asking me if I felt like I was still married because he added technically and by law you are not. I just smiled at him and said Mans law is not my law. I choose to live by the law, but I do not come  under the law.

I think rings ,in fact jewellery shared between lovers/partenars is a beautiful intimate thing. My hubby had to work real hard to afford my beautiful engagement ring. Im thinking later I might see if a good jeweller can blend his wedding ring and my rings into one ring, then I can wear "us", forever, if I want.

I love your reply. When you spend over half of your life with someone, you don't just change your feelings because of a technicality.  The idea of an "us" ring is beautiful. Bless you.

Word of kindness are like a smooth fragrant oil. Thank you so much Sosammy.

I don't think you ever get comfortable with the words associated with losing your spouse. I spent more than half of my life with my spouse and his family. To me they are my family too. They are my daughters' aunts, uncles, and grandparents. They are my  in-laws. I guess if you didn't have a close relationship before, it would be difficult.

I would continue to introduce them as you have always done. If the person doesn't know of your loss then they really don't need an explanation of your relationship with your in-laws.  


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