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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2017

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2016 group. There are active conversations there with others in their first year of loss.

Members: 158
Latest Activity: on Wednesday

Discussion Forum

A Ton of Bricks

Started by Shoosie2. Last reply by Shoosie2 May 24. 7 Replies

Hi everyoneTomorrow is the 4 1/2 month mark that my Rick left his 'earth-suit' , and it's just really hitting me hard that my Rick won't ever be back. Ever. I tried to get that through my mind and…Continue

Making new friends

Started by Mike. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Apr 19. 20 Replies

I read a lot about people who have a great support group of family and friends. But my wife was my best friend and my family is far away. So my support group is digital, either online or on the…Continue

Has Anyone had any 'Strange' things happen in your house since your spouse passed?

Started by Shoosie2. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Apr 17. 12 Replies

Good Morning EveryoneI haven't had much of a chance to post anything recently, but I do read everything. I just had to ask this question. Two days after my Rick passed, December 20, 2017, I was…Continue

ANC service on Feb 28 was beyond words

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by Rainy (Misty) Mar 8. 2 Replies

Marty’s Arlington National Cemetery service exceeds words, just as my grief for my missing him every day no words seem to be enough.We had 40+ family and friends in attendance. I hired a photographer…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by Carol FB on January 8, 2018 at 10:57am

Hello everyone.  I decided to join this group while researching Camp Widow/Tampa 2018.  I lost my husband of 37 years in February 2017.  We had lived in VA for only 6 years, but I had never liked it there, so I sold my home and moved to Milwaukee, WI in late June to be near my younger daughter.  While I am very happy with my decision to move, I am still trying to find new friends.   I would love to hear from anyone in this area that may be on this site.  Also would love to hear more about Camp Widow if anyone has attended any of them.  I have read many of the comments, and I know we all share similar challenges.  Being ok alone, but lonely for friendships, and sometimes family.   I take one day at a time.  I hope to make good connections on here.

Comment by InsideLove on January 6, 2018 at 4:44am

Pegg I am so sorry for your loss. This is one of the places to be for support because EVERYONE knows the emotions, feeling,  aloneness, heartbreak and the ugly and eventually some good turns in the most difficult journey I believe anyone can ever take. Ironic it is that we never asked for it but, somehow we find ourselves in this next season. I lost my husband of 47 years 3 days after his 68th birthday on August 28 2017. 

What kind of support besides your counselor do you have? 

Comment by Pegg on January 5, 2018 at 6:48pm

Good evening! This is my first post as I'm still trying to figure out this site. I lost my husband on August 11, 2017. I am so hoping to find a few people that I can relate to, because I have no one that I talk to except my counselor. Everyday is so emotional as I feel so broken since he is gone. The more I am alone the more I like it, because then I at least can get lost in my own thoughts and don't have to explain my feelings to anyone. My heart breaks for all of you as this is such a hard journey to go on. 

Comment by adoption1964 (Kim) on January 4, 2018 at 4:50am

Good morning to all of you who are new widows, I found the chat room quite insightful.  There is a good mix of widows on there, some with less than 1 year and others who have 5+ there is hope.  Moving through and forward is extremely painful at times.  I have been a widow for 8 months and just listening to others helps.  Let's get through this 1 day at a time and together.

Comment by adoption1964 (Kim) on January 2, 2018 at 8:18am

NancyD thank you so much for your support.  I am struggling with how much I should share with my daughter.  She always says she needs to be there for me and her kids.  I try to tell her I am fine and if I cry I cry.  It is really hard for them. Like you I have a a counselor; she is terrific.  I just struggle with how much emotion I should share with them.  I took both of the older grandkids to counseling separately; now my granddaughter she is 8 has requested to go.  The experience more than I expected.  My 14 yr old grandson opened up in a way that made me cry and wanted to make my counselor cry.  I didn't know he felt the way he did.  A short side note we have basically raised the kids they are very close to both of us.  My 14 year old grandson told me that he hates to see me cry and told the counselor that so and why - he said that I was always happy until papa was diagnosed with cancer and he hated to see me sad.  Knife again into the heart.  He was a role model for all of them and it tears me apart to watch them grow up without him and what he is missing.

Comment by NancyD on January 2, 2018 at 7:14am

adoption1964: I could have written your post myself, almost word by word.  I live alone but my adult children and grandkids live nearby and watching them struggle with their grief is really tough.  Our "Papa Bear" was so well loved and life seems empty without him, for all of us.  I am careful about how much I share my pain with my children because it doesn't seem fair for them to have to worry about their mother as well as themselves and their own kids in this season of grief.  

I, too, was starting to do a little better and then got knocked right down by the holidays.  But we made it through and this morning I am holding on to that. I do believe I will slowly feel better.  (My grief counselor says that, and since she is a professional I've decided I should believe her!!!)    

Comment by adoption1964 (Kim) on January 2, 2018 at 5:27am

Hello my screen comes up Adoption1964 -  my name is Kim - I want to keep that real.  It seems that so much seems on surreal or unreal at times.  I am who I am and reality was I rang in the New Year as a widow and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  2018 starting a New Year without my husband was so hard.  I cried most of yesterday.  There is a song by Cole Swindle - "You Should Be Here" it was on the radio yesterday and I all did was cry.  I know this will get better.  I was doing better then the holidays took me down to a new level.  I am crawling back up and out of it.  It is really hard at times as I have 3 grandkids and a daughter living with me who are struggling with their own pain with the loss of her father and the kids role model.

It breaks my heart to see them hurt and at the same time I am hurting inside. Jack was a wonderful man, father, husband, best friend, lover, friend, and papa.  I long and miss for those days that we were together someone to tell me everything will be ok.  In my head I know I will be ok.  I am not where I was at day 1.  I just hurt and my heartaches right now.  I think my saving grace this month will be getting through the year end tax stuff at work. Thanks for letting me share and get out it hurts.

Comment by Jude on December 31, 2017 at 3:17pm

It's been 32 days since I lost my husband. I was numb and frustrated for the first three weeks, now I'm crying, confused, scared and don't have much energy. I'm afraid I'm going to get so depressed I won't be able to get out of bed. I have a full time job and an adult son disabled by bipolar illness who I care for. So not getting out of bed would cause lots of problems. 

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on December 31, 2017 at 11:10am

If you don't have plans this evening, pop into the chat room to ring in the new year with other Villagers. You are not alone. We'll be there for all US time zones from 11pm Eastern to 12:30am Pacific.

http://widowedvillage.org/chat

Comment by Greg on December 28, 2017 at 9:05pm

Sound--hold on to that dream. What a wonderful experience you had. Do not ever forget it. I am still waiting for my Patti to come to me in my dreams. God gave you a gift in a form of a dream. How blessed you are. Shed tears of joy for what you have received. 

 

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