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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Widowed in 2017

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2016 group. There are active conversations there with others in their first year of loss.

Members: 117
Latest Activity: on Wednesday

Discussion Forum

Its Official

Started by HelensRay. Last reply by Carmen513 on Wednesday. 10 Replies

Its official I just hate hate hate hate this life without my Helen.  Cancer snatched Helen from me 30th June and I thought I was doing OK, but every day is getting so more wearisome.  I go out, I…Continue

Struggling to get by.

Started by Mike. Last reply by Carmen513 on Tuesday. 9 Replies

I lost my beautiful wife Mary after 30 years of marriage on December 23rd. It was our 30th anniversary. She died from Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease. I had never heard of it until she got it. She died at…Continue

It's Getting Real or Is It

Started by SoundOfSilence. Last reply by betweenwaves Dec 31, 2017. 10 Replies

Today will be 4 weeks that my sweet husband Dan has been gone. I feel like it is getting more real at times but then I think oh no this really didn't happen, it was so sudden and unexpected that I…Continue

Struggling with the Vocabulary of Widowhood

Started by bacasino. Last reply by Carmen513 Dec 26, 2017. 18 Replies

Hello everyone, I am new to Widowed Village, so perhaps this has been discussed before, but I find my self struggling with the vocabulary of widowhood.  My dear husband of 20 years died this last…Continue

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Widowed in 2017 to add comments!

Comment by NancyD on January 2, 2018 at 7:14am

adoption1964: I could have written your post myself, almost word by word.  I live alone but my adult children and grandkids live nearby and watching them struggle with their grief is really tough.  Our "Papa Bear" was so well loved and life seems empty without him, for all of us.  I am careful about how much I share my pain with my children because it doesn't seem fair for them to have to worry about their mother as well as themselves and their own kids in this season of grief.  

I, too, was starting to do a little better and then got knocked right down by the holidays.  But we made it through and this morning I am holding on to that. I do believe I will slowly feel better.  (My grief counselor says that, and since she is a professional I've decided I should believe her!!!)    

Comment by adoption1964 on January 2, 2018 at 5:27am

Hello my screen comes up Adoption1964 -  my name is Kim - I want to keep that real.  It seems that so much seems on surreal or unreal at times.  I am who I am and reality was I rang in the New Year as a widow and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  2018 starting a New Year without my husband was so hard.  I cried most of yesterday.  There is a song by Cole Swindle - "You Should Be Here" it was on the radio yesterday and I all did was cry.  I know this will get better.  I was doing better then the holidays took me down to a new level.  I am crawling back up and out of it.  It is really hard at times as I have 3 grandkids and a daughter living with me who are struggling with their own pain with the loss of her father and the kids role model.

It breaks my heart to see them hurt and at the same time I am hurting inside. Jack was a wonderful man, father, husband, best friend, lover, friend, and papa.  I long and miss for those days that we were together someone to tell me everything will be ok.  In my head I know I will be ok.  I am not where I was at day 1.  I just hurt and my heartaches right now.  I think my saving grace this month will be getting through the year end tax stuff at work. Thanks for letting me share and get out it hurts.

Comment by Jude on December 31, 2017 at 3:17pm

It's been 32 days since I lost my husband. I was numb and frustrated for the first three weeks, now I'm crying, confused, scared and don't have much energy. I'm afraid I'm going to get so depressed I won't be able to get out of bed. I have a full time job and an adult son disabled by bipolar illness who I care for. So not getting out of bed would cause lots of problems. 

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on December 31, 2017 at 11:10am

If you don't have plans this evening, pop into the chat room to ring in the new year with other Villagers. You are not alone. We'll be there for all US time zones from 11pm Eastern to 12:30am Pacific.

Comment by Greg on December 28, 2017 at 9:05pm

Sound--hold on to that dream. What a wonderful experience you had. Do not ever forget it. I am still waiting for my Patti to come to me in my dreams. God gave you a gift in a form of a dream. How blessed you are. Shed tears of joy for what you have received. 

Comment by SoundOfSilence on December 28, 2017 at 8:54pm

I had a dream today of my husband Dan, it is the first real dream of him I have had (that I can remember and was not a nightmare). He woke up and we kissed like crazy, I told him "they said you were not going to wake up" and he cried for me and kissed me, then I woke up and it was over. Oh how I wished it was real and he had really woken up. I cannot stop crying.

Comment by HelensRay on December 28, 2017 at 10:26am

I know here you are AD1964, but at least the first part of this time is over.  Helen went 30th June and I do believe (hope) I am now on the way forward. I think (think!!) and hope I am now past grieving and now in just missing my Helen.  Missing her is bad but grieving is just so much more.  I don't know what the days ahead hold but I just hope I can live but hold on to my good memories of me and Helen.. Ray

Comment by adoption1964 on December 28, 2017 at 7:14am

Well here it is a year later since my husband had the surgery to remove his right kidney, ureter and piece of his bladder.  Where is he now, gone.  This surgery was in hopes to extend his life.  Nope I truly think it shortened it; he passed on May 2, 2017 from Stage IV Kidney cancer.  He went so fast.  I have so many regrets these days.  Why did we do the surgery all it did was make a miserable road of recovery and then to go into Chemo/Pallative care for another 10 weeks.  My husband spent his last birthday in the hospital alone in so much pain.  Yes we both knew the risks however in hindsight I would think twice about the surgery.  This grieving process is such a rollercoaster ride.  I think I am finding some anger.  I thought that would have been earlier in the process.  Christmas was ok, he loved this holiday and all the lights.  Tomorrow is his birthday and man do I miss him.  I know all of you on here get the feelings. I have been in counseling for 4 months and it has helped; but I am on a rollercoaster backwards; at least it feels like that.

Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 25, 2017 at 7:23am

We're hanging out in the WV chat room for anyone who finds themselves alone on Christmas day. Join us!

Comment by riverside on December 23, 2017 at 7:58am

I lost my husband, my soulmate of 40 years of heart attack on Nov 8, while we were vacationing in California.  it was very unexpectedly.  We both retired, just wanted to enjoy life with lots of travelling.  Then, boom, all gone !   I am totally unprepared.  After the initial shock and numbness, reality sinked in.  Every day, every hour, I am struggling, every morning, I wish I would  not wake up, to face another very very sad day.   


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