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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2017

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2016 group. There are active conversations there with others in their first year of loss.

Members: 178
Latest Activity: Feb 11

Discussion Forum

Has Anyone had any 'Strange' things happen in your house since your spouse passed?

Started by Shoosie2. Last reply by eightracker Jan 25. 14 Replies

Good Morning EveryoneI haven't had much of a chance to post anything recently, but I do read everything. I just had to ask this question. Two days after my Rick passed, December 20, 2017, I was…Continue

Making new friends

Started by Mike. Last reply by Isaiah4031 Sep 19, 2018. 23 Replies

I read a lot about people who have a great support group of family and friends. But my wife was my best friend and my family is far away. So my support group is digital, either online or on the…Continue

6weeks out and overwhelming sadness

Started by Luv4Z. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Jul 20, 2018. 9 Replies

Today I have an overwhelming sadness . Im sure this is not a stranger to anyone on this site. I get so sad all of sudden . I have 4 kids under the age of 12 and they see me crying every day. I try to…Continue

A Ton of Bricks

Started by Shoosie2. Last reply by Shoosie2 May 24, 2018. 7 Replies

Hi everyoneTomorrow is the 4 1/2 month mark that my Rick left his 'earth-suit' , and it's just really hitting me hard that my Rick won't ever be back. Ever. I tried to get that through my mind and…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by Melissa on February 11, 2019 at 12:19pm

Hi Jija. Thank you. I did the 30 day writing your grief course last year as well. We must have been in the same group!

Comment by Jija on February 11, 2019 at 5:46am

Hi Shelly and Melissa. The book that helped me the most was Megan Devine's It's ok that you're not ok. She also has a brilliant website - www.refugeingrief.com - and very active Facebook page. I also did her 30 day writing your grief course last year - one of the best things I could have done for myself. x

Comment by Melissa on February 9, 2019 at 12:02pm

I read grief books incessantly after Gilbert died. I used them as a lifeline. "Joan Didion lived to write this book." Then I started reading books about bereaved people walking the Camino de Santiago as a way to heal. It really appeals to me, but I know I'm never going to be able to do that. These books did bring me comfort, though. They are soothing to me.

Obviously, that's not for everybody, but I haven't found anything else on what to do after such a loss. If you find anything, let me know!

Comment by shelley on February 8, 2019 at 6:59pm

Looking for book recommendations. I've read dozens of grief books, many helpful.  I loved 'The Light of the World' by Elizabeth Alexander, 'The Year of Magical Thinking' by Joan Didion and many self-help books.  It's been 15 months for me and I'm looking for books about life after, making a life after, figuring out life after, what is life after, is there life after.  I read an article recently about mediocrity and I think mediocrity could very well be a life goal for me.  Looking for things to read.  Need to immerse myself.  Any suggestions?  Thank you!  

Comment by Kimba on January 16, 2019 at 7:43am

Hi Tony,

‘my friends who are widdowed call it The Widows Channel;  but sometimes I am so down that I need to watch something positive.  Last night I planned to see a movie on Amazon called The Beautiful Boy about a family with. Son who is a drug addict.  It was so depressing that I read a book instead.  I am working on being okay alone at night.  I think it is paramount.

i agree with you about having the support of other widows/widowers and organizations like Camp Widow.  I attended last year in Tampa and San Diego and plan on attending in March.  My only obstacle is that I am attending a 7-day cruise called “The Bereavement Cruise” which I went on last year. It is a great experience if you can go.  But, it might be too intense for me togo from one to the other.

Life is still a blur sometimes and for the me the second year is worse than the first.  I’d been warned about that so I wasn’t surprised.  Like you some days are good but there are bad days too.  I’m trying to make myself focus on the good things and good people coming into my life instead of those that are leaving my life.  I started a Meetup Group in Key West Florida called “Widowed in Paradise” and have met some fantastic widows and widowers. I feel like they really get me.  

Have a great day!

Kim

Comment by MidnightBear (Tony) on January 11, 2019 at 7:43am

Kimba - while I am generally careful to admit it, my first year (heck my last 2 weeks :D) was filled with a lot of Hallmark Channel viewings.  For me it was sort of going back to a last connection.  The day I took my wife to the hospital for the last time was the first time in several weeks she was actually feeling like being around anyone.  She had asked me to come watch a Hallmark Christmas movie with her.  We were watching that when it was clear to me she had had some sort of stroke and I had to take her to the doctor.  She didn't want to go, but I convinced her.   Much of the last year has been a complete blur of events for me.  I went from one activity to the next.  When the activities ran out I sort of stood in place staring not knowing what to do next.  

I will be down in Tampa this year for my second time (also second camp), the first was amazingly helpful at my 4 month mark to just start to see that there was a light at the end of the tunnel.  I find that the people who are there supporting me and here being my community of like minded individuals acts as my anchor.  The tether at least that keeps me from drifting too far off the path.  There are days/week where very little really makes me happy or think of things in a positive way, but always having folks who get it, helps to ground me a little.  

I don't know where you are, but there are several regional groups as well that may be available to you, I sometimes remember to sign up and go to one here and it is nice just chatting with folks. 

Take it easy out there, maybe I will see you in Tampa if you are going. 

-Tony

Comment by Kimba on January 11, 2019 at 5:35am

Hello everyone,

i am new to this website, so just getting to know it.  I lost my husband Don on May 11, 2017.  My first year was a blur, filled with lots of crying and movie watching on The Hallmark Channel.  The second year a little different.  My crying isn’t so loud and my grief is less physical.  My guilt and my anger are gone too.  What is left is an empty space where my beloved was in my life.  Some days I feel okay, but many days I feel lost like I don’t have an anchor to hold me in place.  What has been the best medicine is my part time job as a sales clerk and the company of other widows.  I have been to two Camp Widows and plan to return in the Spring.  And found amazing support.  

I am looking forward to being a member of this Group at Widowed Village,

Kim

o,o

Comment by Monkey on December 16, 2018 at 9:00am

this is my first time on here, i lost my Joe very suddenly, he was 41, on Good Friday, April 14, 2017. I am so exhausted from feeling as though i have to explain away my feelings or lie about how i am feeling or soothing others because they are offended if i dont react how they want me to, to  make themselves feel better. i am just exhausted and i hurt and i dont know where to go from this or what i am supposed to be doing- i am so blindsided and its terrifying. 

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on October 5, 2018 at 11:11am

Hope you'll join me in the Chat Room this Sunday.

http://widowedvillage.org/events/hosted-chat-hour-for-our-new-members

Comment by Chris on August 20, 2018 at 8:51am

Hi all. This is my first post here. My husband went home to be with the Lord on 4/29/2017. Just like all of you, my life was instantly shattered. I have been working on a book to help other widows and hope to have it published very soon. Just know that there are many of us out here that can help. We are lonely and sad. I don't believe there is a "normal" after this happens. We are changed, forever. 

 

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