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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2018

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2017.

Members: 205
Latest Activity: 13 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Wedding rings

Started by Kris63. Last reply by bigfig Apr 27. 11 Replies

Comment by Kris63 39 seconds agoDelete CommentIs anyone else out…Continue

Tags: rules, Rings

Sucks to meet like this...

Started by Blessed Hot Mess. Last reply by KJPE Dec 27, 2019. 3 Replies

Howdy folks... first post here... my husband past very unexpectedly at age of 37 on 12/7/18. He was an electrician and while pulling wire he tore a blood vessel in his heart. Unfortunately the ER…Continue

So the holidays begin

Started by Kris63. Last reply by Lee Dec 3, 2019. 2 Replies

Well, another Thanksgiving without my love, Mark. This is the second one so I thought it would be less painful. Funny, that didn’t quite happen. This morning started a bit better. I didn’t wake up…Continue

New to the Group

Started by kk24. Last reply by shebert56 Oct 21, 2019. 10 Replies

Hi Everyone,I am new to the group and the site. I lost my wife 12/12/18 to lung cancer. We were together 28 years (over half my life) and I feel so lost without her. We found out in May that she had…Continue

Comment Wall

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VOLUNTEER
Comment by Soaring Spirits on May 11, 2020 at 1:25pm

We're holding weekly Zoom meetings for our Widowed Village members on Thursdays at 9am Pacific Time. If you'd like to join us, please send an email to [email protected] and I'll send you the link.

Dianne


VOLUNTEER
Comment by Soaring Spirits on May 1, 2020 at 11:54am

Check out our Telethon for HOPE live streaming on https://soaringspirits.org/ or on the Soaring Spirits International Facebook page. Kelley Lynn did a keynote and Cindy is doing a cooking lesson right now. Non-stop entertainment all day today until midnight Pacific time and then we're back at it tomorrow from 10am to 10pm Pacfic time. 

Comment by Sharon on March 23, 2020 at 4:39am

I would give anything to have my husbands arms around me right now.

Comment by Claire on October 19, 2019 at 8:54am

GKinSD I don't think grief is a straight line. It's more like tangled necklaces in a jewelry box.  Some of the knots are easy to untangle. And there are others that are almost impossible.  Sadly we all have to get used to this new normal without our loved ones.  It's definitely not an easy road.  Hugs to you during this difficult time.  

Comment by DJG on October 19, 2019 at 8:35am

GKinSD I so empathize with you. It has been almost 10mon since I lost my husband. I too have seen a therapist, changed my medications, etc. I have a history of depression but my new provider informed me that some antidepressants can make things worse. Waking up daily without our loved one is horrible. Each day is sad and lonely. I stopped working last November when my husband was placed on hospice. Up until then we both thought he would beat the cancer. Surviving is what I would call my life also. Like you I just pine for my old life, which I know will never be. It will be a changed life that none of us had ever planned for. My fur babies help, but when you have no family left, life is very lonely. Hang in there. Life will continue to be bumpy, but they say we do get through it (only wish the sinking feeling would go away to)

Comment by GKinSD on October 19, 2019 at 7:54am

It’s been a few months since I’ve posted. I wish I could say I’m in a better place,  but I feel worse. I’m doing all the things I think I should be doing...meeting with a therapist, meditation, allowing myself to grieve, etc. I’ve also started taking an antidepressant, something that was recommended by my GP and therapist. Honestly, I think the medication has worsened my grief. I hate the sinking feeling I get when I think of my situation. It’s like a freefall that never seems to end. When I read that grief sometimes takes years to soften, I get discouraged and wonder what’s the point?  It all seems like it’s too much. But I wake up each day, do what i need to get done, and survive another day without him.  I miss having joy in my life. I miss having something to look forward to. I miss falling asleep next to him. I miss listening to him sleep at night. I miss waking up next to him. I miss my old life. 

Comment by Kris63 on October 7, 2019 at 9:48pm

Dear GK in SD- Grief is exhausting and I am not surprised by your napping. I think it is quite normal from things I have read. Maybe it is a way to shut off the sadness for a while. I, too, have tried to do a few things my husband and I used to do. I started with good intentions and fond memories of such happy times but it was also harder than I imagined and I ended up sad, drained, and down the rabbit hole of missing him terribly.  I think this will go on indefinitely. 

 Peace to all.

Comment by Claire on September 24, 2019 at 10:02am

GKinSD, I understand completely.  On our anniversary this month I just stayed home.  My dogs do seem to notice when I'm down.  They get extra attentive to me.  So they keep me occupied.  We all just get thru those days however we can.  

Comment by GKinSD on September 23, 2019 at 4:09pm

So today was one of those triggers I keep reading about, my husbands birthday. I had planned to get out of the house and do something “meaningful”. Instead I just stayed home and slept. I’m trying to not beat myself up over this. I get through the tough days hour by hour. Sometimes minute by minute. I got through today by napping. I got through a tough day. I’ll take it as a win. I miss you Steve. Happy Birthday my love. 

Comment by Claire on September 22, 2019 at 8:04am

Dear GKinSD     I think you did well by making the reservation, driving there and doing anything or nothing.  And then the next time you plan/take a trip it will get a "little" better or easier(hopefully).  Possibly arrange something in advance, sightseeing trip or activity so you have an event on your calendar.    I agree with you, we have to keep moving.    My resentment when I see couples is if they are bickering over something trivial/unimportant.  I want to go over and tell them to stop it and just enjoy each other.    Take care, this is one of the most difficult life events I have had to deal with.   

 

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