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Widowed in 2018

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Members: 48
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Discussion Forum

Teenage support groups for loss of a parent

Started by Miss Em. Last reply by Doug02122014 Jun 1. 3 Replies

Hi everyone,Does anyone know of a good peer support group/forum/site for my three teenage sons who have lost their dad? I have done some googling but haven't found anything that is either up to date…Continue

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Comment by riet on May 20, 2018 at 11:49pm

Dear Miss Em, 

So sorry this happened to you and your lovely family.  You must feel so incomplete now and yet you are trying to start again as a family.

Yesterday I went to visit some good friends  for the first time alone and I also felt my husbands absence so very strong. We always went together there.  My husband having long talks with Dario,  and me with my friend Edith.  Hearing each other laugh in another corner in the house or in the garden.

And now it was so silent .  All I wanted to do was yell: please let my husband come back to me. But of course I can yell as much as I want.

I went back home , grateful for the friendship that was showed to me.  But also shrunk to almost nothing because he was no longer with me.

Comment by Miss Em on May 20, 2018 at 2:39pm

Two days ago, some good friends got married. My kids and I went to the wedding. My husband would have been the best man, only he was killed 7 weeks earlier. I watched them say their vows, full of love and commitment and my heart broke for myself and my husband. We too promised "till death do we part" never imagining that death would happen before we reached old age. We too promised to have each other's back to love and cherish, etc. I never expected that his life and our marriage would end with a sudden tumble in a car. Sean was so very absent that day. He should have been there, for the groom and with us. I am so pleased for the couple who were married. I am confident that they will stand the test of time. I just wish Sean had been there too.

The other thing that I made happen even though I know it was awful and hard, was our first family photo without him. Just myself and the three kids. So very incomplete and yet all we have left is each other.  

Comment by Rainbow18 on May 20, 2018 at 9:50am

Thank you for sharing your story Riet. 

Comment by Patience on May 19, 2018 at 1:35pm

I'm so sorry, riet. You have found a good place to "be" here on Widville. 

Comment by riet on May 18, 2018 at 11:15pm

Reading a book, I discovered this website.  English is not my native language. Please forgive my awkward language.

I lost my husband on the 20th of last April. He fought  an aggressive brain tumor. And despite an average surviving rate of 15 months, he had exactly 4 years.  He was 73 and on the 1st of May, we would have been together for 50 years. We were in a very tight marriage. The only thing important for my husband was his family. He lived for us every moment. He wanted to have a big party on this first of May.  In stead, we celebrated his life on that day.

My husband loved living so very much. He didn't want to give up till the last moment.  He took every therapy what was proposed to him. And hoped to live till he was a 100 years old.  And despite the heavy treatment all this time, we had hopes.  He came out of the statistical data and we thought it would last that way.

It did not.  From about September 2017, his condition became worse every day.  And still, seeing,  we were blind. We hoped and hoped.

We never consulted any internet paper about his disease. We only accepted what the doctors told us. If we had done so, I believe my husband had given up fighting a long time ago, because with this cancer he had no chance at all.

Our 3 children and grandchildren however knew all about it and I only now see how lonely they must have felt , not being able to discuss all this with us.

He died in our own house. I was with next to him.  Our children and grandchildren had left a few hours before, not expecting him passing that night.  He cried when they left.  Now that hurts me so much.  I still want to hug him and he is no longer here.

He was nursed by our daughter this last month. She did this so gentle and kind.  She and her daddy were two of a kind. 

His grandchildren had come to sing and bring his music  on their guitars to him this last day.  He liked classic rock and was so happy and proud they shared his his interests.  They miss their granddad so much.

I want to tell his story a million times.  His photos are all around me.  I am surrounded very well by caring people:  our kids in the first place. But also our neighbors and friends. 

But I don't see how to go on now.  They all tell me not to think very far ahead, and live by the day.  But I can't help feeling scared.  My husband and I did everything together. And now?

Thank you for being able to tell you this.

the best to all of you

Riet

Comment by Lookin' Up on May 8, 2018 at 6:02pm

Hello, I am a new member, Lookin' Up.  Hubby died 2/17/18.  Married 45 years.  We had no children and had moved to a new location  in 2014 for his health.  I was his caregiver and did not leave the house unless it was for food or medical help for him.   One exception is the local Garden club once a month during the school year.  Very nice people.   Staying put until I can think clearly.  This loss feels like I am going to die and lose my mind while doing it.  I know I will survive (and regain my brain) because we all do.  Still must be careful because not thinking clearly.    Some nice neighors including widow next door who has 'been there'.  

Comment by Miss Em on May 3, 2018 at 1:45pm

Hi Foundationoft, I lost my husband of 22 years on March 30th!

Talking to others has been great for me - even really early in this journey

Comment by foundationoft on May 3, 2018 at 11:38am

I lost my husband of 21 years on March 31.  I'm hoping that knowing that I'm not the only one facing this trial in life will bring me courage.  

Comment by nayajivan on April 25, 2018 at 6:01am

Very True Weemunk

We all are feeling similar pain and grief..

You have come to the right place, here everyone is facing the same pain and grief.

hence  you will find the same kind of feelings and emotions from all the members who are sailing in the same boat just like you after losing their Soulmate..

Prayers and Blessings for All...

Comment by Weemunk on April 25, 2018 at 5:38am

I feel so angry when other people talk about their grief regarding my husband's passing. His parents and siblings had little to do with us during our marriage, his friends loved him but saw him a few times a week. Everyone gets to go back to their own life, they get to be comforted by their spouse, yet my every minute of every day has changed and everything I expected for my future has changed -  I can't escape it. It makes me resentful to hear other's express grief at the passing of my husband. I get that they are grieving but what they are experiencing is a drop in the bucket compared to what my daughter and I are experiencing. Like someone else on this site said, no one understands what it is like to lose your soulmate until you do. It leaves me feeling very alone.

 

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