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I lost my husband March 18, 2018 from a cerebral aneurysm. We were together 49 years, married 43, with grown boys. I guess it's because of the holidays, but lately little things are smacking me in the face, making me realize I'm not even sure who I am . I received a Christmas card from  a nephew addressed to just me, and it set me off in tears. I realized last week that this will be the first New Year since I started dating that I will be alone at midnight, which again set me off. Tonight it hit me that I am no one's wife/spouse  when I was asked the question. I'm sure there will more blank areas that are going to confront me. I'm not sure how well I am handling it because I feel like I'm taking 10 steps back. My boys have been great if I need something done, but they can't pull me out of these feelings. One son thinks I just need to eat more. I eat when I'm hungry. The other thinks I just need to get out all the time. He doesn't realize that the smallest thing can set a memory video off in my mind and turn me into tears. I am praying that things will calm down some after the holidays are over and possibly my emotions will not have total control over my body as they do now. God bless you people here. I was reading posts for a few months before I joined and it has been helpful, although I wish none of us had the reason to be here.  

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Replies to This Discussion

I understand how you feel. Cyndi died December 5th. There are things of Cyndi’s that I was in the process of dealing with when it just became too much pain and I just stopped. I left everything wherever it lay (like all over the dining room table, just wherever)  and haven’t touched them in 3 months.

If you put a mic in my house you could hear me yelling “F***!!” at the top of my lungs every time I remember that she’s gone—many times per day and often in the middle of the night. If you didn’t know I was grieving, you’d think I’ve gone nuts!

Hii you responded to me and I wrote a long reply and it didn't go through,  how do you respond back to the emails?

I am new to this tooso I’m not sure. 

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