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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Widowed in 2018

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

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We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2017.

Members: 83
Latest Activity: yesterday

Discussion Forum

May

Started by Tekwriter. Last reply by Tekwriter on Monday. 3 Replies

I lost my husband on May 3rd. It has been so hard. I still do not like to go out and stay at home a lot more than I used too. I am always tired and I guess that is the depression. I got some extra…Continue

Husband recently passed

Started by Elizarahana. Last reply by Elizarahana on Sunday. 4 Replies

Not sure if this is how to post. My husband died August 30th from liver cancer. We have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. I don’t know how to deal with this pain. Taking care of my kids feels…Continue

4 months since husband's death

Started by LL22. Last reply by mhelen Sep 11. 8 Replies

hi everyone. this is my first time blogging...anywhere.  Last week marked 4 months since my sweet husband died. It's still hard to just say those words. It seemed like the first couple months I was…Continue

Missing him in Alabama

Started by Navywife0219. Last reply by Yesterdaysgone Sep 4. 1 Reply

Good day all.  I just registered because I need to see if this forum can help.  The abridged version is my husband passed unexpectedly 02JAN2018, he had been diagnosed with IPF (idiopathic pulmonary…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by riet on Sunday

Dear camB, I am very sorry for your loss. On such a young age, dead is totally baffling.

My experience is different: In April,  I lost my husband after a longtime illness. But I have the same dream: the whole night I try to text/call him and he doesn't answer.  Or I see him on a road a long distance before me. I call to him, very loud.  I see that he hears me, but he does not turn around and the distance between us gets bigger and bigger. And then he is gone.

After such a dream, I am completely broken.  For me, the mornings are worse as the evenings.

And another coincidence: his favorite tree in our garden is dying. It was a healthy strong conifer, and now he's loosing all color.  This never happened before. The tree does not seem to want to live anymore.

This makes me sad.  My husband liked this tree so much.

I am very well supported.  So many people drop in to see if i'm ok.

But no one and nothing can replace my husband. My best friend and the love of my life.

I was able to empty his wardrobe this week.  I was helped by a neighbor who works in a charity organization.

I kept the clothes he liked  most. I will keep them forever. And that feels good.  

But we should still be together.

Comment by MomOfBoys (Tammi) on Sunday

Hi CamB...I lost my husband unexpectedly as well about 5 mos ago.  Shock grief really is the worst.  You have no time to even process.  One second they are there, the next they aren't.

I have done all the things you have as well.  It just sucks.

Comment by camB on Sunday

This is my first post on here. I unexpectedly lost my husband on July 8th and he was only 35 years old.

Each day has its highs and lows but this morning just felt really low. I woke up from a dream where I forgot my husband was dead and the whole dream I kept trying to call/text him and just find him. Then I woke up and remembered he is gone.

After that I had a plan to drive his truck around so that the engine and battery doesn't die but this morning it wouldn't start. It sounds silly but I just felt so sad remembering my husband is dead and now his truck is also dead.

The day is slowly getting better as I have had people come over to help with the truck. But I just simply miss my husband...everyday. Sometimes I just am tired of being sad. I do go out with friends and try to have fun but deep down inside I just wish he were with me. 

Comment by Canshifter on September 12, 2018 at 3:42am

My husband passed away in January and I find some days are just unbearable.  There were so many things planned and talked about and now thats gone. I have a wonderful support team with my daughters but they are also having to handle this with kids and jobs.  Where do you start, what do you say to people when you are having such a bad day? 

Comment by June 15 on September 11, 2018 at 6:32pm

Dani, I’m so sorry. I understand missing that “surprising “. I’m hoping for comfort for you and the little ones.

Comment by Dani on September 11, 2018 at 6:15pm

Hi June 15.  My husband passed away on Feb 4 and today would've been his birthday.  It's been extremely hard, especially remembering how much our littles loved "surprising" him with a cake.

Comment by June 15 on September 11, 2018 at 6:05pm

Hi, my husband died June 15th so we are approaching 3 months.  His birthday is September 12th so it’s very hard this week. Our anniversary was September 2nd.  I knew certain days would be hard and they really are.

 I’m surprised how many of our friends have stopped talking to me. It feels very strange and lonely.

Comment by Sar_ML on September 3, 2018 at 1:16pm

Hi everyone, I signed up recently and have been working up to introducing myself in the groups I joined. I am still in disbelief most of the time to be honest..... I still feel nauseous when I start actually putting it into words or typing it. I haven’t really accepted or become used to this new status yet. To sum things up this new unwanted chapter - earlier this summer our family was in a bad accident that took my husband from us. We are now trying to recover/adapt one day at a time to as I try to cope and navigate this new unbelievable and unplanned part of our story. I’m heartbroken that we are here but it feels like it will be helpful in having so many others to lean on. Thanks for listening.

 

Comment by zavopup on August 25, 2018 at 4:05pm

Bruna,  I am so sorry to hear of your pain.  So recent.  You must give yourself permission to not know what is next.  When my wife died in February I was in shock and devastated.  My identity was changed for having my mate ripped from my life.  I feel broken and lost 10 pounds in the first month.  It's been 6 months now and I feel no change in my pain.  I write about my wife and our life and share with others this process of grief.  My friends are not sure what to do to make me feel better, so they offer support and comfort.  The pain has not diminished, but it has only been 6 months for me.  

Be patient and kind to yourself.

Comment by LP on August 23, 2018 at 1:27pm

Hi Bruna

This is so recent for you. All of us here know just how awful the pain is. But you will get through although it’s really the toughest thing you’ll ever do. The only advice I can give is to cry as much and as loudly as you need to. Don’t hold back. Let other people help you but tell them how they can help, because many friends and family won’t know and won’t understand. They’ll do things that may hurt but with the best intentions. So unfortunately it’s up to us to tell our family what it is we need. The thing that helped me most was allowing people like my sister, best friend and stepdaughter to help me with things like registering the death and organising the cremation etc. I also made sure to have time to myself, when I could and  just stay in bed on a weekend and cry, scream, cuddle my husband’s clothes and do whatever it took to comfort myself. You will get through. And when times get tough we are here to listen. Hugs from a fellow widow 

 

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