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Widowed in 2019

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Members: 96
Latest Activity: on Friday

Discussion Forum

So many places to say goodbye

Started by DebiT. Last reply by Judyrose on Thursday. 13 Replies

It’s been just over 6 months, and I may be just beginning to understand why so much is so hard.  I function pretty well in my normal routine of work and visiting grandkids monthly down south.  It…Continue

Loss By Addiction/Suicide

Started by Mel. Last reply by Mel Oct 28. 12 Replies

I lost my husband on September 22, 2019. He was an alcoholic and decided to take a whole bottle of pills. The guilt is eating me alive. He left me and my special needs son alone. He promised to never…Continue

Tags: Guilt

3 MONTHS AFTER

Started by Ozzy turtle. Last reply by Jules Oct 25. 14 Replies

On April 2nd it was exactly 3 months since I lost my husband, my best friend. It was just him and I. We have close friends that have stayed close to me, but it seems like everyone has disappeared. It…Continue

How are you?

Started by Telynn. Last reply by carlthepro Oct 25. 3 Replies

These "special days" are so hard.  My husband's birthday is this week and the third important date since he died.  I have made plans for the weekend to try and have something to focus on but his…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by CvilleSarah on September 29, 2019 at 7:47pm

Jules,

I”m sure it’s ok to cry as you write...I am crying every single time. I also feel like I keep writing the same things- how much I love him, miss him, how unfair it is that he is gone so soon, how lonely I am without him- but I think that is ok too. I also don’t worry about how eloquent it sounds, because it’s not like anyone is probably ever going to read it. I feel like it’s the only way of still having that nightly time together. Good for you for trying to take care of yourself too ❤️

Comment by Jules on September 29, 2019 at 11:28am

Most of what I do right now is for my husband. I go to church for him, because I know that’s what he’d want. He’d want to to eat healthy again, to substitute teach a few days a week, to go on vacations with friends to start living again. While I know it’s what I should do, it’s hard to take that first step. I’ve hired a personal trainer so I’m forced to get out of the house and work out 3 days a week. I have bought a journal so on those nights when I wake up at 1, 2, 3 and 4 AM I can write to him. While I’m often crying as I write, it does help.

Comment by KathleenSmile on September 28, 2019 at 8:11pm

Today is my Wedding Anniversary; we would have been married 22 years!

It's been almost four months since my hubby suddenly passed away. I totally agree with all you women. And I think all the time, sometimes too hard, what is the point of living LIFE, without my LIFE-PARTNER? I asked this question to almost everyone for like two months, and I finally got a response that actually "almost" made sense to me

*I WILL LIVE FOR HIM; I WILL LIVE FOR MY HUSBAND*

I WILL SHOW HIM HOW STRONG I AM

AND HOW MUCH HE TAUGHT ME.

:) :)  I WILL MAKE HIM PROUD  :) :) 

But, overall I am trying to establish a "new normal", and I don't like it one bit!! I like your idea Jules about writing to HIM in a journal.

;(   ;(    

Comment by Jules on September 25, 2019 at 5:37pm

Cville.. I have not done that but the funeral home suggested I write him a letter to be cremated with him, which I did.

Comment by CvilleSarah on September 25, 2019 at 5:35pm

Does anyone else write their loved one letters?? I have been pulling out a journal and writing to mine every night. 

Comment by Mary on September 23, 2019 at 4:16am

Hilda,

I feel the same.  It's like everything I do beyond the basics of living is pointless.  I'm not sure how that is ever going to change.

Like everyone else here, I just want my old life back.

Comment by Jules on September 23, 2019 at 4:16am

Hilda. I absolutely agree with you. For me, it’s only been 6 weeks. I know I need to start taking better care of myself (better eating and working out). But I’m am really struggling to actually do it. Right now when I do something I tell myself,”i’m Doing this for Bill”. Eventually I’ll be doing it for me. So start taking care of yourself for your loved one. Eventually you’ll we doing it for you. It’s all about 1 day at a time, or 1 hour at a time, or 1 minute at a time.

Comment by Hilda on September 22, 2019 at 7:43pm

It’s 7 months today that I lost my husband of 21 years. 

I’m not OK. I’m trying my best to get on with everything, 

but I don’t know what the point is.

I miss him so much. 

Reading comments here makes me feel less alone.

Thanks.

Comment by CvilleSarah on September 22, 2019 at 7:25pm

Jules,

He looks like a good one, and seems like we could have had a lot of fun with you guys ❤️ 

Comment by Jules on September 22, 2019 at 4:47pm

Missing my husband a lot today. 

 

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