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Widowed in 2019

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Members: 62
Latest Activity: 1 hour ago

Discussion Forum

3 MONTHS AFTER

Started by Ozzy turtle. Last reply by CoraKaye Aug 6. 5 Replies

On April 2nd it was exactly 3 months since I lost my husband, my best friend. It was just him and I. We have close friends that have stayed close to me, but it seems like everyone has disappeared. It…Continue

Where To Live

Started by Melissa. Last reply by Telynn Jun 4. 1 Reply

After my partner's death, I can't afford the rent on my own. So I've been searching for a person or people to move in to the spare room... It's been so hard moving forward with that, packing a bunch…Continue

Tags: housing, home

How are you?

Started by Telynn. Last reply by Telynn May 21. 2 Replies

These "special days" are so hard.  My husband's birthday is this week and the third important date since he died.  I have made plans for the weekend to try and have something to focus on but his…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by BA7.5 17 hours ago

Hi Hilda--

I hope you get this message.  Somehow I don't find your message on the group comment wall...

I completely understand EVERYTHING you said in your message.  My husband died 6 months ago last week... I miss him like crazy... Every night when I try to go to sleep I look at his pictures and tell him that I hope that SOMEHOW he'll be here when I wake up.  How crazy is that as I have his ashes sitting right here.  But I can hope...

We have a grown step daughter, but none of our own.  I just turned 60, without my husband... I have no idea what the future will bring either, and really have no desire to do anything at this point.  I am just empty.  My goal is to get out of bed in the morning, get outside for some exercise as it's what keeps me going, then put one foot in front of the other for the rest of the day.  It's always a roller coaster-- I never know if i'll be on the upside or downside.  But I do know that it will reset every day... I've always been a very upbeat, energetic, positive person so it's so odd to be so empty and without purpose... My husband and our time together was so much of my purpose.  Workwise, my passion has died to run my business... 

I'm sorry to be talking so much about me and where I am, but I've found on Widowed Village that it helps SO much to hear other people's stories so I know I am not alone in all of this.  Know that you are not alone either.  We are all here to listen and care, because we get it.

I send virtual hugs your way.  

BA7.5

Comment by BA7.5 on Wednesday

I am new to Soaring Spirits and have been reading the conversation threads for a week or so.  It's so helpful to hear others going through the same thing I am living. My husband, best friend, soulmate, adventure-mate and king of fun died of a heart attack on Valentine's night while we were sleeping.  I tried to resuscitate him but was unable.  I still have nightmares about it... 

Life is so empty... painful... surreal... I still don't want to believe that he is really never coming home... The heartbreak is unbearable sometimes... 

I grieve the fact that he's not here today sitting next to me... I grieve the fact that I wasn't able to revive him... And I grieve the fact that we were counting down to our retirement and had amazing plans ahead together...So now what?  How to live without him??  How to live without our plans to grow old together?  

It was 6 months last week which is unbelievable.  I am incredibly fortunate to have supportive family and friends. But I just don't know how to continue without Dave... I don't want to continue without him.  We were incredibly happy.

Grieving him is the hardest thing I've ever done.  It's exhausting... So few people truly understand... It means the world to now have a place to come to where there are others who get it.  Thank you.  I'm sorry we are all here but am grateful for your kindness and understanding.

(My apologies if you see this post more than once as I'm posting it to the 5 groups I'm a member of.)

Comment by Pualili221 on August 16, 2019 at 8:46pm

@Ladyhawke, it’s not easy, the struggle is real. My husband passed away on Feb. 21, 2019, he died by suicide.

I honestly can barely remember the first three months. To tell you the truth I didn’t know then if I could make it through a day, a week, a month but here I am at 6 months. What has kept me going are my kids, trying to keep busy by immersing myself in to my work, I let myself feel my emotions. If I feel like crying I do. Another one is I believe that my husband is still with me in spirit, I believe his soul still exists. You are not alone on your journey, you will find people here to help.

Comment by LadyHawke on August 16, 2019 at 6:48pm

Hello I lost John, my soulmate my best friend husband and lover 5 months ago.

I just exist and am having great trouble adjusting to a life without him being physically present, his smile, his laughter, his understanding, his love all in all everything about him as he was the most authentic person I have ever met in my life.

 Hoping to learn from others how to cope each day 

Comment by Darlene on August 11, 2019 at 6:03am

It has been three months on August 3rd, since my husband of 45 yrs, has been gone. I don't know why but this weekend it seems like all I can do is cry. I feel like my heart is broken into little pieces and I am anxious and afraid.

Comment by Chelle on July 18, 2019 at 4:43pm

Today marks 2 months since Bruce passed away... May 18th... the day after my 50th birthday.

I decided to go down town this morning, walk around a bit, listen to the music being played down in the inner harbour... he used to love doing that.

We would have celebrated his 66th birthday next Saturday, July 27th... 10 weeks. I’ve decided to go & get a tattoo of an elephant (as he loved them) with 3 hearts coming out of its trunk, floating up to heaven. After that I want to pick up a helium filled birthday balloon, attach a note & release it. Then I’m having steak for supper... not sure if any of the kids will want to take part in any of it... we are a blended family, so it’s not like we really got together on his birthday with any of the kids... his kids would call but other than that we would usually spend the day by ourselves.

I seem to track both the weeks (each Saturday), as well as the months (the 18th of each month)... Does anyone else find themselves doing that?

Comment by Telynn on June 5, 2019 at 6:33pm

I hope your husband's service gives you some comfort and that you have support around you.  My husband passed 2 months ago and his birthday was 2 weeks ago.  My kids and I decided to celebrate him.  To try and not concentrate on his loss but on what a great man he was, a celebration that he was so important in our lives.  We even had some cake.  It actually helped us a lot.  It may not help you but just a thought.  This is a time of intense emotions and feelings that we didn't even know the depth of,  Finding others who understand this grief was the greatest gift I could give myself.  There are also support groups in communities and churches.  They  can help with this horrible grief.  Just keep reaching out and others will respond.  The worst thing to do is to not get support and lean on others.

Comment by sdlori on June 5, 2019 at 5:19pm

It's been 17 says and my husband's service is tomorrow.  His birthday is Tuesday.  I am heart-broken,

Comment by Telynn on May 28, 2019 at 7:37pm

I feel like I could scream and never stop.  I hate how awful and sad I feel. I am talking to people but right now I just feel desperate to not hurt so much.  I really miss my husband and the grief process that we all are going through is like a rock that is tied around me making me feel like I am sinking.  I try to be positive but I tried to be positive with his cancer.  That takes more effort than I am capable of right now.  I know that eventually we will learn to live with this but what do we do until then?

Comment by Telynn on May 19, 2019 at 1:01pm

I read a writing by a man who lost his wife and he wrote about all the adjustments we now have to make.  How everything from our identity, our goals and dreams,  our sense of security and safety, our passions have all been upended and thrown into a pit of despair.  I think the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is to allow us to feel, to know that we hurt unbelievably, and to just live in the moment we are in.  I too find no joy in any special day or anything around me.  I can say that I have finally allowed myself to not be okay.  I am not okay.  I hurt and cry and want to sit and stare in to space.  But why would I feel any differently?  So for this moment I am allowing myself the grace to grieve the most wonderful man, the love of my life, the father of my kids, the one who I also thought I had many years yet to share.

 

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