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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2019

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2018.

Members: 148
Latest Activity: 2 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Hello

Started by MattsMom. Last reply by Carol E Mar 5. 2 Replies

Just joined the site and this group. I wish it didn't have to exist. My husband died 8/1/2019 after an almost seven battle with glioblastoma multiforme (GBM). He was 69 and we were 7 weeks shy of our…Continue

365th Day Without You

Started by Pooh898. Last reply by Melissa Feb 23. 4 Replies

Yesterday marked the 365th day without my husband. I miss him beyond words but, this loneliness is almost unbearable. My ROCK is gone and I’m left all alone it seems with no sense of purpose. My…Continue

Being in public

Started by Justme. Last reply by BEAV Feb 23. 11 Replies

I dread being at work or in public around people who know me. Inevitably someone asks, "HOW are you doing?" or "How were the holidays?" and won't let it drop w/ a fine. I know they care and that…Continue

Lost

Started by Judyrose. Last reply by Alw12889 Feb 12. 28 Replies

It’s been 3 months for me. It is the worst feeling in my life. Some days I think he’s coming back then I realize he’s not and have a breakdown. We were married for 48 years and I don’t like being…Continue

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Widowed in 2019 to add comments!

Comment by CvilleSarah yesterday

Ugh. First of all, I love how people are asking me “oh, how are you doing with the social distancing?!?”....uhhhh, have you seen me want to go ANYWHERE or do ANYTHING since I was widowed 6 months ago? What do you think I’ve been doing all this time, partying??? This is no different, just an excuse not to feel bad about stuff in the community going on without Joey (it’s all cancelled anyway). I asked him last night “are you up there in heaven lamenting that I FINALLY can’t bug you about taking me out to do something on a Friday when you’re tired after work, we finally HAVE to stay inside and be low key, and you’re not even here to enjoy it?” ;) Second of all, I had an friend ask how I was doing yesterday. When I told her sad, and lonely, she told me she could relate because she was doing (her and her husband’s) taxes, and that isn’t fun either. Okaaaayyyy....  People constantly baffled me with the stupid stuff they say. Just thought I’d throw these thoughts out there. 

Comment by Carol E yesterday

Oh, Scarlet, how well you captured the feelings I'm having after a little over a year of losing the love of my life. This pain is something I've never experienced or expected to feel because I could not imagine life without my wonderful husband. But now that it's a reality, it's a constant deep sadness that is better and worse at times, but it is constant and never goes away.   

Comment by pokerflat yesterday

Hello Scarlet,

No need to apologize for anything, This is what the site is for. Everyone has their own way of typing/communicating the difficult time we are having. I tend to ramble too.

Comment by ScarletPlumes on Monday

Hello everyone,

First of all, I want to say that I am so very sorry that any of you have a reason to be here. I've been a member of the group for a bit. While I've not yet posted, I've read your posts and pray for you daily.

427 days, 12 hours and 42 minutes ago, I suddenly lost the love of my life. He had been out of a work for a couple of days, thinking he was having a bout of gout again. We went out dinner and he said he thought he might have over done it since he had been off of his feet for a few days. He complained with his leg hurting. I asked if he wanted to go to the doctor and he said no. We spent the rest of the evening at home and went to bed. He woke up about 5:30 the next morning to go to the bathroom. He came back, sat on the bed and 30 minutes later he was gone. He threw a clot in in his right leg that went to both lungs.  He died exactly two weeks before our 5th anniversary. He was 46. Thus began pain like I've never experienced in my life. I began learning I didn't know as much about grief as I thought I did. 

I learned very quickly that the stages of grief are not linear. You don't progress from one to the other. In the beginning, there were days where I felt all five in a matter of minutes. There are still days when I find myself on Step One. I also learned that grief is like a fingerprint. No two people experience it the same. I also know that no matter how many people there are around you who have also lost a spouse, there are times when you feel like you're the only one on the planet that has. I learned, too, that grief is not like a cold. You don't just "get over it" and recover from it, but yet friends and loved ones will treat you as though you're "contagious".  Grief is like that in-law that moves in, the one who has no plans of ever moving out. You won't get rid of it, but living with it, over time, gets easier. 

I apologize for rambling for so long. I just wanted you all to know that even though it feels like it a lot of times, you're not alone. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. 

Comment by Lovestory13 on Sunday

I also feel that my anxiety level is through the roof with the pandemic.  I have been so emotional since August when my husband passed and this has really hit me hard.  

Comment by Debra on Saturday

A friend told me she wakes up each day thinking it’s all a bad nightmare, meaning the pandemic. I thought to myself, that’s how I’ve felt the past 10 months since my husband died.

Comment by Mary on Saturday
Lovestory13,

I'm so sorry for your loss. As if we didn't have enough to deal with before all of this, it's so hard to go these difficult days now. So much harder alone.

Glad that you found us here.
Comment by Lovestory13 on Saturday

Good Morning Everyone.

Lost my husband on August 2019.  With all that is going on in the world, suffering from bad panic attacks and anxiety.  I am glad I have found widow village for comfort.  God bless.

Comment by Sander on Friday

Hi Holistic Widow...Welcome....I just joined also...sorry for your loss..I also lost my soulmate on 11/16/19 to colon cancer. The days are hard....I struggle with the nights ...not being able to sleep....sorry that you have lost most of your friends....some don't know what to say ….I tell them just checking on me or giving me a hug is good..or just listening....I don't expect them to understand and don't want them saying that they do..I believe that you will find understanding here to help you.

Comment by Holistic Widow on Thursday

Hello Everyone, I just joined this website and group. I lost the love of my life, on 6/13/2019 to pancreatic cancer. Some days it is so hard and others I can function. I have lost most of my friends since they are all young and married, I have our three daughters and they help sometimes but they can't understand the loneliness and pain that sits in my life. So I hope I can find understanding here as I still try to learn how to live with his spirit and not his body.

 

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