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On April 2nd it was exactly 3 months since I lost my husband, my best friend. It was just him and I. We have close friends that have stayed close to me, but it seems like everyone has disappeared. It just hit me I'm alone, I mean really hit me. The thought had been there but the reality. So I'm lost, alone and have no idea how to navigate anything anymore. I know how to say I'm pretty much done so he can come home now. I miss him so much, my heart aches my soul hurts. I miss my friend.

Are these normal feelings? I think so. Anyone else feel like this?

Ozzy

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Replies to This Discussion

Dear Ozzy,

Of course it is normal to be broken to a million pieces, you lost your hest friend, your supporter, your companion through thick and thin, your helper, your lover. Marriage is a sacred institution in which the two become one. We are bound to hurt in a way hard to describe when half of our bring is cut of abruptly. 

Unfortunatelly, there is no way out of this hurrendous pain. We need to somehow live with it and through it, comfort ourselves with the precious memories and the feelings of love, total trust and dedication that we had in our marriages and with the understanding of the fact that WE WILL meet them again. :). We dont know yet when, might be 6 months down the line, 2 years, 20 years but it will happen, sweetheart. Hang on in there.

my husband will have three months on the 28 th of April and the psin Im gping to is impissible to discribe. Only domeone that lives through something similar can understand. The brain refuses to accept or acknowledge, yet sometimes it does , and when that happens, the hell of emotions floods my heart and my mind.

Love,

Roxi

I'm so sorry for your loss, thank you for the kind words and validation of all these different thoughts and emotions.

Roxi, thank you for your reply - so good not to feel alone, and I can relate to everything you wrote.  xoxo

Reading this mean so much. It’s been 3 months for me. The pain is awful I thought he would be back by now but it hasn’t happened. Then it hits me that he isn’t going to. We where married for 48 years. It’s so hard being alone. 

I am still in a fog which is a blessing because I don't feel like anything around me is quite real.  I keep thinking that he will walk into the room I'm in and I wish that with my whole being.  I just said the other day that every negative feeling you can experience is going on for me now.  I have been told not to make any major decisions but I kind of find that amusing because I couldn't do that anyways.  I can't even make little decisions.  I just am taking one moment at a time and reaching out to others who understand.  Today I heard "you can't heal if you don't feel".  That makes sense to me.  So I would say the fact that we can feel and talk about it is at least in the right direction.

On May 5th, 2019, was my 3 mths of losing my husband and best friend. I am in a haze and just live everyday expecting this not to be real.   I want to put a hold on the day  he passed so I dont have to face a future without him.  Then it wont make it real.   I lost my inlaws as well.  I dont know why but I feel so alone  because they wont acknowledge me.  Its like our life didnt exist but it did.  I know how you feel.

Laura

That's really sad that your in-laws have cut you off. But maybe they're in deep grief and will come around. Can you reach out to your own family or friends?

Hello, Ozzy,

I am so sorry for your loss. Totally understand your feelings! My beloved passed on the first day of Spring - 3/20. Although I am thankful his suffering has ended and that we had almost 38 years together, missing him is excruciating. It's a "day by day" process - sometimes hour by hour. Some days are "okay"; some, not so much. My emotions are like a rollercoaster. "They" say not to make any major decisions for a year. Well, that is not always the case. Knowing there are others who are walking the same path as I am brings me a measure of comfort and hope. Sending peace, light, and positive energies to you. 

Dear Ozzy,

I am so sorry for your pain. I understand it well. I lost my husband of 28 years suddenly and unexpectedly on May 15. The crushing depression, desperation, and sadness has just surfaced after the shock and autopilot phase wore off. I can't get out of bed most days. I work from home and have the fortune of having understanding supervisors who are letting me take all of my PTO days and borrow against future ones if I need to. I'm starting grief counseling next week. I think you might want to look into that. There are bereavement centers in many cities. Also, you might look into groups at local places of worship. Reach out to people you were close to. They want to help but they don't know how. I told a few friends that I was falling apart and they have gone out of their way to invite me out and call to talk. Don't feel like you're imposing on them. Someday, you'll be doing it for them. God bless you.

I know exactly what you mean. I'm so sorry you lost your husband. Sudden deaths are so hard to process. 

I completely agree with you Ozzy for me its been just over 3 months ago...It was just Norma and I.

Some days are better than others, some go by fast, others don't.

Just got back from a 15 day vacation to Vermont and PA with my sister and brother in law.

They were nice enough to pay for my part of the trip. Visiting with family and friends helped..

My whole world is turned upside down. I sleep in a different bedroom and this large home is so quiet.

Your feelings are completely norma. Trust youre doing better in recovering from your loss.

Will keep you in my prayers...

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