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I lost my husband Nov 11 2019 unexpected with a hard attack I have 2 young kids I am so sad and still It’s hard to believe that he is not with us . We move here in Colorado less than a year we  brought a house and happy to start our life here we don’t have family and no friends yet I hope I can find new friends here and people who understand me it is just too hard for me to explain in words how I feel I am just broken heart and overwhelming 

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Dear Lis,

I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my husband in January of this year suddenly and unexpectedly, his heart just stopped in his sleep. I am 36 and we recently moved in a new part of the country, so no family or friends.

You can always find a friend in this site when you need to talk. You have a hard long journey ahead of you, take it one hour at a time and reach out whenever you get overwhelmed. Be gentle on yourself and try to eat well and rest.

Hugs,

Roxi

 

I'm so sorry, this sounds so heartbreaking and terrible. Thanks for the advice to be gentle, I sometimes think I am expecting too much from myself too soon. I worry that if I can't be OK right now, I will never be OK again. I am only 6 weeks in.

Hi Lis,

I'm so sorry about your husband. I also lost my partner recently from a heart attack, on October 27th, very sudden and unexpected. My kids and I are just still trying to understand that he is gone. I hope you will be able to find friends around you to support you, but it is good to have people who can really understand what this is like. I never would have been able to imagine it until it happened to me. Maybe there is a group that meets in your area so you can meet new people who will know what you are going through. Either way, this group is full of us and we are all trying to struggle through it together. Try to have grace for yourself as much  as you can. This is hard.

Thank you so much I really need people the understand my feelings I’m so sad and overwhelming tomorrow will be a month since he left us 

I am not quite a month and a half in, so I can't offer you much of a look from the future. I am also still just feeling heavy and heartbroken pretty much all the time. I have had a few better days, but it seems like they are always followed by a pretty bad one, and I'm hoping it doesn't continue that way. People who have more time in say that it does get better, and this book I am reading now says that most people usually pass through the most acute part of grief within 6 months, so that does give me hope even though it seems like a long time. I know I need to be able to function, for myself and my children, but at least just yet I am not there. Roxi has been walking this path since January, she may be more help than me, having survived almost a year by now.

Hi Lis, I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my wife last december to an unexpected heart attack at 54. I remember then how I felt I was going to lose my mind from the grief. I had no idea what I was going to do...my one and only plan up to then had been to grow old together with her. 

The pain never goes away but I can laugh again. Other widows/widowers told me, and I can confirm that over time it softens. The definition of normal is completely different now, and we weren't asked or given a choice.  It sucks.  It took a year, but I can look at photos of her and remember the good times and smile, instead of breaking down.  I am learning to accept that loss and grief are a part of every life on Earth unfortunately. Please know you are not alone. This is awful and I feel for you.

Thank you for this. Your words are so encouraging to me.

Dear Lisa,

im so sorry to hear about your loss, it is a hurrendous pace to be and our ives will never be the same again.

reach out to us and read various topics so you can get some form of  comfort from people that understand exactly what you are going through.

Im ten months in and it still feels surreal at times.

Love and hugs

Roxana

Thank you, the surreal part is one of the hardest things. He traveled a lot for work, he was gone multiple days every week, so my son and I keep talking about how it just feels like he is gone on a normal trip and will be back any day. I hope someday we get past that, as it is so hard every time you have to realize all over again that he is never coming home.

I had to blink when I read this, because I often had that sense in the early days- that surely Skip would be at home when I got back from work, or he'd show up back from the gym, or maybe when I left for a few days and got back? Surely any second now... And just now, I realized I haven't done that in a bit. Maybe...not since the summer? So it took, oh, 5 months or so for me to lose that "he's coming back any minute now" feeling. Of course, as one grief book I recently read put it, our grief is as unique as our love, so this may not be an accurate guide for you. Still, better to have some sort of sense, right?

Yes, thanks, it does help to have a sense of how it has gone for someone else. You always know that it might be different for you, but I think it helps me to feel hopeful if there is a concrete idea of how long some of these harder parts could be. It helps to feel like there is an end in sight.

Erika, I never knew there were so many stories of loss related to heart attacks this young. My husband died of a sudden heart attack September 16,2019. Almost 13 weeks ago. I am trying to take it one day at a time. So hard. So so hard. 

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