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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Widowed in 2019

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

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We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2018.

Members: 47
Latest Activity: 20 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Where To Live

Started by Melissa. Last reply by Telynn Jun 4. 1 Reply

After my partner's death, I can't afford the rent on my own. So I've been searching for a person or people to move in to the spare room... It's been so hard moving forward with that, packing a bunch…Continue

Tags: housing, home

How are you?

Started by Telynn. Last reply by Telynn May 21. 2 Replies

These "special days" are so hard.  My husband's birthday is this week and the third important date since he died.  I have made plans for the weekend to try and have something to focus on but his…Continue

3 MONTHS AFTER

Started by Ozzy turtle. Last reply by jnzmom71 May 12. 4 Replies

On April 2nd it was exactly 3 months since I lost my husband, my best friend. It was just him and I. We have close friends that have stayed close to me, but it seems like everyone has disappeared. It…Continue

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Comment by Chelle 20 hours ago

Today marks 2 months since Bruce passed away... May 18th... the day after my 50th birthday.

I decided to go down town this morning, walk around a bit, listen to the music being played down in the inner harbour... he used to love doing that.

We would have celebrated his 66th birthday next Saturday, July 27th... 10 weeks. I’ve decided to go & get a tattoo of an elephant (as he loved them) with 3 hearts coming out of its trunk, floating up to heaven. After that I want to pick up a helium filled birthday balloon, attach a note & release it. Then I’m having steak for supper... not sure if any of the kids will want to take part in any of it... we are a blended family, so it’s not like we really got together on his birthday with any of the kids... his kids would call but other than that we would usually spend the day by ourselves.

I seem to track both the weeks (each Saturday), as well as the months (the 18th of each month)... Does anyone else find themselves doing that?

Comment by Telynn on June 5, 2019 at 6:33pm

I hope your husband's service gives you some comfort and that you have support around you.  My husband passed 2 months ago and his birthday was 2 weeks ago.  My kids and I decided to celebrate him.  To try and not concentrate on his loss but on what a great man he was, a celebration that he was so important in our lives.  We even had some cake.  It actually helped us a lot.  It may not help you but just a thought.  This is a time of intense emotions and feelings that we didn't even know the depth of,  Finding others who understand this grief was the greatest gift I could give myself.  There are also support groups in communities and churches.  They  can help with this horrible grief.  Just keep reaching out and others will respond.  The worst thing to do is to not get support and lean on others.

Comment by sdlori on June 5, 2019 at 5:19pm

It's been 17 says and my husband's service is tomorrow.  His birthday is Tuesday.  I am heart-broken,

Comment by Telynn on May 28, 2019 at 7:37pm

I feel like I could scream and never stop.  I hate how awful and sad I feel. I am talking to people but right now I just feel desperate to not hurt so much.  I really miss my husband and the grief process that we all are going through is like a rock that is tied around me making me feel like I am sinking.  I try to be positive but I tried to be positive with his cancer.  That takes more effort than I am capable of right now.  I know that eventually we will learn to live with this but what do we do until then?

Comment by Telynn on May 19, 2019 at 1:01pm

I read a writing by a man who lost his wife and he wrote about all the adjustments we now have to make.  How everything from our identity, our goals and dreams,  our sense of security and safety, our passions have all been upended and thrown into a pit of despair.  I think the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is to allow us to feel, to know that we hurt unbelievably, and to just live in the moment we are in.  I too find no joy in any special day or anything around me.  I can say that I have finally allowed myself to not be okay.  I am not okay.  I hurt and cry and want to sit and stare in to space.  But why would I feel any differently?  So for this moment I am allowing myself the grace to grieve the most wonderful man, the love of my life, the father of my kids, the one who I also thought I had many years yet to share.

Comment by ID8 (Pete) on May 19, 2019 at 12:34pm

SFBay,

I understand where you are at. I’m at a very similar place. It’s been about 2 1/2 months for me. I am just going thru the motions of going to work, etc. Nothing has the same meaning and I am struggling trying to figure out my future. I’ve talked to a therapist and he said that I can’t worry about that now. Time to take care of myself and  I have a birthday coming up but don’t see what I would want to celebrate. 

Just know you are not alone. We are here! We are struggling in some way...

Comment by SFbay on May 19, 2019 at 12:15pm

It's been 8 weeks since he was gone...

I never imagined the separation takes place this early.  Of course, I know one of us will leave the other sometime in our life but I thought we will be together for another 40 yrs or so.

I feel my present and future is gone. All the future plans were "our" plans and since he is no longer in this world, none of the plans we had seems interest/exciting anymore. I lost interests in activities, food, things I used to like a lot. I cannot taste food..

Do I just breathe and kill my time till the end of the life span? 

I am so so sorry that we belong to this group...

Comment by Pualili221 on May 12, 2019 at 2:53pm

Hi Katya,

So sorry for your loss. Like you, this will be the first Mother’s Day I will not have my husband.  I am approaching 3 months and still am finding it hard to comprehend. Knowing that his spirit is still very present around me is what has kind of kept me going, other than that it’s been a fog and a rollercoaster ride I wish I didn’t have to ride.

Sending you hugs and strength today.

Comment by Katya on May 12, 2019 at 1:55pm

I have been a widow for 7 weeks now. Can not get used to this word. Never thought it would apply to me. I am 44 and have two kids: 4 and 14. Today is Mother's day and I am attempting to make a brand new meaning of motherhood and overall purpose in life. Does anyone live in Maryland, USA? 

Comment by Pualili221 on May 10, 2019 at 5:39pm

Erika, 

Thinking of you. One of the many hard days we have to endure from now on. I truly believe our husbands are still with us in spirit. Sending you hugs and prayers.  

 

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