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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2019

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2018.

Members: 148
Latest Activity: 10 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Hello

Started by MattsMom. Last reply by Carol E Mar 5. 2 Replies

Just joined the site and this group. I wish it didn't have to exist. My husband died 8/1/2019 after an almost seven battle with glioblastoma multiforme (GBM). He was 69 and we were 7 weeks shy of our…Continue

365th Day Without You

Started by Pooh898. Last reply by Melissa Feb 23. 4 Replies

Yesterday marked the 365th day without my husband. I miss him beyond words but, this loneliness is almost unbearable. My ROCK is gone and I’m left all alone it seems with no sense of purpose. My…Continue

Being in public

Started by Justme. Last reply by BEAV Feb 23. 11 Replies

I dread being at work or in public around people who know me. Inevitably someone asks, "HOW are you doing?" or "How were the holidays?" and won't let it drop w/ a fine. I know they care and that…Continue

Lost

Started by Judyrose. Last reply by Alw12889 Feb 12. 28 Replies

It’s been 3 months for me. It is the worst feeling in my life. Some days I think he’s coming back then I realize he’s not and have a breakdown. We were married for 48 years and I don’t like being…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by DeeDee on December 22, 2019 at 6:01am

Tomorrow is one month, I can’t even bring myself to get out of bed today. I just want to lay here and look through photo albums and drink coffee and cry. I miss him so much 

Comment by Lost Girl on December 21, 2019 at 7:08am

Tlang5, I am so sorry you lost your husband and that you have to be here with us. This really does hurt. You cannot explain the depth of your pain. Only those that have loss their spouses can understand. Although the depth of grief and loss is so individual and isolating, please know we are all here for you. Love to you and your children. We are here. 

Comment by Tlang5 on December 20, 2019 at 6:48pm
  • It's been 6 months since my husband died. I'm struggling with the loneliness. My kids and I have no one. It's hurt to go through this alone.
Comment by Lisa on December 15, 2019 at 6:41pm

DeeDee and CvilleSarah, my counselor told me that grief is just the process of separating the memory of the person from the pain of the loss. So once you are through the process, you will always still be able to feel the pain, but  you will also be able to have the memories of your person without the pain being an inseparable part of them. This makes sense to me. I hope we can all make it through this most difficult part until we get to a place where we can remember without so much hurt and pain.

Comment by Pat in Ct on December 15, 2019 at 5:21pm

Thanks Pete. Same to you.

Comment by ID8 (Pete) on December 15, 2019 at 5:02pm

@PatinCt,

Thank you! I wish we all had no reason to be here. Strength, courage and love to you all this holiday season. I know it will not be easy.

Comment by Pat in Ct on December 15, 2019 at 2:19pm

Denise, Thank you for the recommendation.

Comment by Lost Girl on December 15, 2019 at 10:07am

I want to share the name of the book that has validated every single feeling that I have had since my husbands passing in September. “It’s OK that your NOT OK”, by Megan Divine. For those of us in our first year, I feel like this may help validate how you are feeling. Do you feel like well intended family/friends say the wrong things? She speaks to living inside grief, not getting past or getting over grief. I cry every day too, this new life is devastating. She tells the truth. It hurts, it’s as bad as you think, it cannot be fixed, it can only be carried. 
I feel like she is speaking to me. Maybe you too? I feel all your deep sadness. This is beyond horrible.

Comment by Pat in Ct on December 15, 2019 at 6:44am

Pete, I'm in the first year, too. It's awful, just terrible. My husband died in May and I still can't believe he's not coming back. I miss him so much. I'm sorry we're all going through this.

Comment by ID8 (Pete) on December 15, 2019 at 6:20am

DeeDee,

The memories will always be bitter sweet. I am dealing with the, "year of first" as well and this time of year has been a roller coaster ride. I use a journal to write my thoughts, messages, feelings to my wife. One thing I've learned...if you need to cry, then just cry. It's much better then bottling it up. My wife passed 9 months ago and some days I feel like its back to day 1.

 

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