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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2019

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2018.

Members: 167
Latest Activity: on Thursday

Discussion Forum

just joining

Started by julieb. Last reply by julieb May 19. 8 Replies

Hi all, Just joining the group. I've read many of the posts on here and it seems we all have a lot of the same feelings. I'm very sorry that any of us need to be here. I never could have imagined…Continue

365th Day Without You

Started by Pooh898. Last reply by Mama Mary May 7. 7 Replies

Yesterday marked the 365th day without my husband. I miss him beyond words but, this loneliness is almost unbearable. My ROCK is gone and I’m left all alone it seems with no sense of purpose. My…Continue

Being in public

Started by Justme. Last reply by AnnieDReich May 5. 17 Replies

I dread being at work or in public around people who know me. Inevitably someone asks, "HOW are you doing?" or "How were the holidays?" and won't let it drop w/ a fine. I know they care and that…Continue

Hello

Started by MattsMom. Last reply by Mama Mary Apr 25. 3 Replies

Just joined the site and this group. I wish it didn't have to exist. My husband died 8/1/2019 after an almost seven battle with glioblastoma multiforme (GBM). He was 69 and we were 7 weeks shy of our…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by DeeDee on December 29, 2019 at 4:28pm

LostGirl,

I’m feeling a lot better, my anxiety gets worse at night. I spoke to my doctor and he thinks it’s psychosomatic, as Mark passed at night. I think it’s a generalized feeling of always being alone even when surrounded by people. CvilleSarah don’t give up love, we are all here for the same reason, feel free to reach out and talk to me at anytime.
I’m dreading New Year’s Eve, I cant imagine going out and watching people kiss at midnight, so a couple of girlfriends and I are going to play crib, drink wine, and stay at my house.  

Comment by CvilleSarah on December 29, 2019 at 2:21pm

Ugh, another day going by...nothing of consequence happened, but maybe that’s good because that way he didn’t miss anything good?? That’s how I’ve been feeling, like as long as I don’t do much, he’s not missing much. Maybe that’s not what he would be doing if I had died instead because he was so extroverted, but I just feel like that’s what I need to do, and I haven’t felt much like socializing anyway. Still awfully lonely though...nothing to look forward to or be happy about. Does anyone feel like maybe the love we shared with our loved ones was like too good and too pure for this world, or something, and it was interrupted because it’s better suited for heaven than here? A weird thought I know. 

Comment by Lost Girl on December 28, 2019 at 6:45am

DeeDee, how are you feeling? I am so sorry this happened to you and wish Mark was there to comfort you too. 
My heart is aching for you.

Comment by Pooh898 on December 26, 2019 at 2:59pm

DeeDee, I get anxiety attacks all the time now definitely not able to function like I did prior to losing my husband. I had to learn how to breath it out and it’s not instant tales about 30 minutes or more for me to feel ok. Look for breathing techniques on Google, Pinterest, Youtube. My counselor told me to use this technique:

4-7-8 technique, focus on the following breathing pattern:

  • -empty the lungs of air
  • -breathe in quietly through the nose for 4 seconds
  • -hold the breath for a count of 7 seconds
  • -exhale forcefully through the mouth, pursing the lips and making a "whoosh" sound, for 8 seconds
  • -repeat the cycle up to 4 times

Comment by DeeDee on December 26, 2019 at 2:30pm

Has anyone else experienced anxiety attacks recently? I had one tonight for the first time in a very long time and it’s probably the holidays and all the emotions that go with it but wow, totally out of nowhere! This is a terrible feeling and I wish Mark was here as he was my rock...

Comment by AtSam(Steve) on December 24, 2019 at 8:35am

DeeDee, What a wonderful memory to share with us! Thank You, brought a smile to my face!

Tears of love flow freely. Without the love there would not be the lost we all have. I find myself often, as of late, just sitting with almost a blank empty feeling but tears flow from my leaky eyes. I so miss the lady that just made everything happen. Christmas was her time to shine as bright as all the lights on the tree. It will be so different forever forward but Sharon's joy and memory will always be shared as long I am alive. 

Something from Camp Widow I have embraced, is to "say their name" and talk about them often. I have found it does help others around me to be comfortable. Talk about a funny story and with the tears comes moments of laughter and with that a tiny moment of peace. I miss Sharon more than I could ever imagine and I knew I was going to be broken and lost. I understand it is so hard, but if we start the conversation with a story more will come. Everyone of us feels and grieves differently but this is something that has worked for me. 

I have also shared with my children just how deep the pain is. I think it is health they know the old man is human, has feelings, and can share a tear about the person we all miss so deeply. Sharon is worth each and every tear I shed, is the way I look at it. 

It has been 10 weeks but feels at times it was yesterday and at other times like a life time ago. 

Hugs and my warm thoughts to each of you today, tomorrow and days forward. 

Comment by DeeDee on December 24, 2019 at 3:43am

Tlang 5 sending g you a huge hug! 
Roxanna sending you a huge hug too! We will all get through today with tears and at some point I’m sure some smiles when we think of our loved ones!

Mark used to wake up super early when the kids were young and put all the presents under the tree and wake them up screaming Santa came!!! Now mind you the kids were younger and never understood it was only Christmas Eve, they would see the flour foot prints and Mark would tell them Santa was checking it out to make sure they were good before he came back with their stockings. He had such an amazing sense of humour , and I miss him, even though the kids are all older and on their own they are all home so guess who put flour foot prints in the kitchen today? We all laughed while we sipped coffee! Memories of Mark will never fade, but our memories going forward will include him in some way or another. 
when the kids all go back to their own homes I will take time to reflect. Right now it’s important for myself to make their first Christmas without dad special. 
BTW- reason behind the footprints was that we always told our children Santa only brought the stockings so they did not have high expectations and make it awkward for other children who couldn’t get a lot at this time of year

Comment by Roxana on December 24, 2019 at 3:21am

Thank you, Deedee.

I do struggle. My birthday was in the 19, now Christmas, then New Years Night, then on 28 January 1 year death anniversary.

Love and hugs,

Roxi

Comment by Tlang5 on December 24, 2019 at 3:19am

I can't see from the tears this morning. I miss him so bad. 

Comment by DeeDee on December 24, 2019 at 3:05am

Reaching out today to all of you who are struggling to get through today and tomorrow. Letting you know I am thinking of all of you and my heart is there with you. 

 

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