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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2019

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2018.

Members: 167
Latest Activity: May 21

Discussion Forum

just joining

Started by julieb. Last reply by julieb May 19. 8 Replies

Hi all, Just joining the group. I've read many of the posts on here and it seems we all have a lot of the same feelings. I'm very sorry that any of us need to be here. I never could have imagined…Continue

365th Day Without You

Started by Pooh898. Last reply by Mama Mary May 7. 7 Replies

Yesterday marked the 365th day without my husband. I miss him beyond words but, this loneliness is almost unbearable. My ROCK is gone and I’m left all alone it seems with no sense of purpose. My…Continue

Being in public

Started by Justme. Last reply by AnnieDReich May 5. 17 Replies

I dread being at work or in public around people who know me. Inevitably someone asks, "HOW are you doing?" or "How were the holidays?" and won't let it drop w/ a fine. I know they care and that…Continue

Hello

Started by MattsMom. Last reply by Mama Mary Apr 25. 3 Replies

Just joined the site and this group. I wish it didn't have to exist. My husband died 8/1/2019 after an almost seven battle with glioblastoma multiforme (GBM). He was 69 and we were 7 weeks shy of our…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by Debra on January 13, 2020 at 3:50pm

Riskybiz, it’s been less than a month for you. For most of us it’s been several months, but we know what you’re going through. Be kind to yourself. Hopefully you have a friend or family member you can count on to be there for you. I found that helpful those first few months.

Comment by Riskybiz on January 13, 2020 at 2:45pm

I lost my husband December 17, 2019 and I am lost.  I can't stop crying and the empty feeling will not go away.  Will it always be like this?  How can I ever be happy again.  We were married for 45 years.

Comment by [email protected] on January 13, 2020 at 9:29am

I am Donald from Queens.  I lost my wife in June of last year of cancer.  I am doing my best these days. It be nice to meet some who had a lost like I did.  

Comment by Roxana on January 13, 2020 at 7:26am

Dear Debra,

I also had a “ friend” telling me that she has a friend whose boyfriend decided to split with her, and that her situation is much worse than mine... She said other stupid things also so I cut her off completely. 

Comment by Debra on January 13, 2020 at 6:58am

I talked to an old coworker at a party recently, someone I hadn’t seen in many years. I knew she had been single for many years, but I didn’t know if she was widowed or divorced. Apparently she was divorced long ago.  I told her about my situation and she implied that it was probably better than being divorced. I was speechless. 

Comment by Roxana on January 12, 2020 at 11:14pm

Dear Deedee, I did cut off my life a few people due to their plain stupid comments. I also avoid people or change the subject if i have to face them and they say hurtful things. They have no idea what they are speaking about. Most if them are trying to console us, its hard for them to know what to say. I hardly know whT to say to another widow myself!

Comment by CvilleSarah on January 12, 2020 at 7:42pm

I’ve been kinda over people lately too, especially those who make comments that it seems like I’m doing well. They have absolutely no idea how little I want to be here, and how incredibly sad and lonely I am every minute of every day. They have no idea that I cry first thing every morning and last thing every night, and on and off all day. Some try to tell me he “wouldn’t want me to be sad.” Uh, well, but I am, and don’t see it getting any better sooooo....get over it people. (shrug). I’m pretty sure he’d understand why I’m not exactly in the mood to be out gallivanting around!

Comment by AtSam(Steve) on January 12, 2020 at 4:33pm

Dee,

I have not had any anger towards others, since Sharon died.  Too sad to be angry I guess. Was told that tonight, oh you are so strong. Nope look closer, my eyes are glossed most of the time, cannot breathe chest is so tight most of the time, but I try to say sometime "I like have no choice". The other one is "How are you". I try to answer now with doing as well as I can. Walking out of the hospital tonight, I meet life long friend in the hall. He went on and on how hard it must be without Sharon over Christmas. Well it is hard all the time. He meant well but boy just about had me in tears, was able to hold back till I got to the car. His 25 year old son was touch and go for the last few weeks so pretty sure both of us would have need tissues if I broke down. I live beside his Mom and Dad, who were so helpful during Sharon's illness, so we all pretty close. I look at comments from others as they care, but they just say stuff that set us off. If they start telling me how I should feel or start into some comparison, I will say I need to be somewhere and say thanks and good bye. With you, on the so lost feeling. Friend told me today, being widowed is like having a switch turn off in their life. Ditto big time! Just three months for me and even a less for you, everything is still so fresh and raw. Be kind to ourselves comes to mind.

Comment by ID8 (Pete) on January 12, 2020 at 3:49pm

DeeDee,

I know exactly how you feel. We have no choice but to be strong, to get up every day and face this life we did not ask for. I've gotten the..."your strong" comments myself. The truth is, they don't see the break downs every morning or the tears while I drive into work. Know one could truly understand.

Comment by DeeDee on January 12, 2020 at 1:47pm

So very tired emotionally this week. I went back to work full time to occupy my mind and have been kept busy as I run my own company. I am soooo tired of people telling me “ you’re so strong”... I am angry I have to be so strong and I don’t have a choice but to be strong as my husband did not leave me he left this earth. How do you all deal with well meaning phrases but they cut to the core.... feeling lost and angry at our situation tonight

 

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