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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2019

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2018.

Members: 32
Latest Activity: on Thursday

Discussion Forum

How are you?

Started by Telynn. Last reply by Telynn on Tuesday. 2 Replies

These "special days" are so hard.  My husband's birthday is this week and the third important date since he died.  I have made plans for the weekend to try and have something to focus on but his…Continue

3 MONTHS AFTER

Started by Ozzy turtle. Last reply by jnzmom71 May 12. 4 Replies

On April 2nd it was exactly 3 months since I lost my husband, my best friend. It was just him and I. We have close friends that have stayed close to me, but it seems like everyone has disappeared. It…Continue

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Comment by Telynn on May 19, 2019 at 1:01pm

I read a writing by a man who lost his wife and he wrote about all the adjustments we now have to make.  How everything from our identity, our goals and dreams,  our sense of security and safety, our passions have all been upended and thrown into a pit of despair.  I think the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is to allow us to feel, to know that we hurt unbelievably, and to just live in the moment we are in.  I too find no joy in any special day or anything around me.  I can say that I have finally allowed myself to not be okay.  I am not okay.  I hurt and cry and want to sit and stare in to space.  But why would I feel any differently?  So for this moment I am allowing myself the grace to grieve the most wonderful man, the love of my life, the father of my kids, the one who I also thought I had many years yet to share.

Comment by ID8 (Pete) on May 19, 2019 at 12:34pm

SFBay,

I understand where you are at. I’m at a very similar place. It’s been about 2 1/2 months for me. I am just going thru the motions of going to work, etc. Nothing has the same meaning and I am struggling trying to figure out my future. I’ve talked to a therapist and he said that I can’t worry about that now. Time to take care of myself and  I have a birthday coming up but don’t see what I would want to celebrate. 

Just know you are not alone. We are here! We are struggling in some way...

Comment by SFbay on May 19, 2019 at 12:15pm

It's been 8 weeks since he was gone...

I never imagined the separation takes place this early.  Of course, I know one of us will leave the other sometime in our life but I thought we will be together for another 40 yrs or so.

I feel my present and future is gone. All the future plans were "our" plans and since he is no longer in this world, none of the plans we had seems interest/exciting anymore. I lost interests in activities, food, things I used to like a lot. I cannot taste food..

Do I just breathe and kill my time till the end of the life span? 

I am so so sorry that we belong to this group...

Comment by Pualili221 on May 12, 2019 at 2:53pm

Hi Katya,

So sorry for your loss. Like you, this will be the first Mother’s Day I will not have my husband.  I am approaching 3 months and still am finding it hard to comprehend. Knowing that his spirit is still very present around me is what has kind of kept me going, other than that it’s been a fog and a rollercoaster ride I wish I didn’t have to ride.

Sending you hugs and strength today.

Comment by Katya on May 12, 2019 at 1:55pm

I have been a widow for 7 weeks now. Can not get used to this word. Never thought it would apply to me. I am 44 and have two kids: 4 and 14. Today is Mother's day and I am attempting to make a brand new meaning of motherhood and overall purpose in life. Does anyone live in Maryland, USA? 

Comment by Pualili221 on May 10, 2019 at 5:39pm

Erika, 

Thinking of you. One of the many hard days we have to endure from now on. I truly believe our husbands are still with us in spirit. Sending you hugs and prayers.  

Comment by Erika on May 9, 2019 at 7:29pm

Tomorrow I have to lay the love of my life to rest! I miss him so much it hurts my heart! I know he is guiding me and with me always. I know his celebration will be so special tomorrow. 

Comment by sdonna on May 8, 2019 at 4:55pm

Erica I am deeply sorry for you loss; I understand your pain. You are in my prayers.

Comment by Pualili221 on May 7, 2019 at 11:00am

Erica,

Sorry for your loss, so sorry that we are on this site. I hope you find comfort here as we are all here together.

All I can say is take it one day at a time and take good care of yourself. Cry when you want to cry, 

Comment by Telynn on May 7, 2019 at 8:37am

I commented on your page Erika.  I am still figuring out this site.  I just wanted you to know that my heart grieves deeply too and I am reaching out to you.

 

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