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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Widowed in 2019

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

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We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2018.

Members: 151
Latest Activity: 10 hours ago

Discussion Forum

365th Day Without You

Started by Pooh898. Last reply by Jacqueline1969 10 hours ago. 5 Replies

Yesterday marked the 365th day without my husband. I miss him beyond words but, this loneliness is almost unbearable. My ROCK is gone and I’m left all alone it seems with no sense of purpose. My…Continue

Hello

Started by MattsMom. Last reply by Carol E Mar 5. 2 Replies

Just joined the site and this group. I wish it didn't have to exist. My husband died 8/1/2019 after an almost seven battle with glioblastoma multiforme (GBM). He was 69 and we were 7 weeks shy of our…Continue

Being in public

Started by Justme. Last reply by BEAV Feb 23. 11 Replies

I dread being at work or in public around people who know me. Inevitably someone asks, "HOW are you doing?" or "How were the holidays?" and won't let it drop w/ a fine. I know they care and that…Continue

Lost

Started by Judyrose. Last reply by Alw12889 Feb 12. 28 Replies

It’s been 3 months for me. It is the worst feeling in my life. Some days I think he’s coming back then I realize he’s not and have a breakdown. We were married for 48 years and I don’t like being…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by book girl yesterday

thank you DIVA70, your comments did help. Someday, maybe I will have grandchildren to get up for! You are right, my husband was a true fighter and  he would want me to do the same. 

Comment by DIVA70 yesterday

book girl...first please accept my sincere condolences. Please, try to be kind to yourself as you adjust to this new journey. My soulmate and I were together for 50 years, married for almost 48 years. How do I find a reason to get up each day? It's been over 23 months for me. Most days I really don't have a reason. I just make myself get up.....because I know that's what he would want me to do. He was a fighter until the very end and I have resolved to do the same because I know that's what he would want. Also, I know one day my children and grandchildren will most likely have to deal with the loss of a mother and grandmother. I want them to be able to say I fought a good fight....I kept the faith.....For me, right now that's reason enough to get up. Take care.

Comment by book girl yesterday

It's been 3 months since I lost my love of my life of 45 years. I was his caretaker for the last 14 years and I still can't believe he is gone. I get up each morning,asking myself, why bother? I get through the day trying to tie up all the loose ends and then with this isolation, I am so alone. I have 2 grown children, one in Hawaii and one in New York. No grandchildren, no family, no one close by, but great neighbors who do check in on me. When you see or hear of others quarantined

with their families, do they realize how lucky they are?How do you find a reason to get up each day?

Comment by DIVA70 yesterday

laurajay, I just want to say thank you for your words of encouragement and your message of hope. Usually I have much more to say but the only words I have today are thank you and God bless you and all of you who have shared your deepest expressions. Kenny Rogers passed away recently and the song Goodbye by Lionel Richie was released shortly after his death. I have found some solace in the lyrics. Take care.

Comment by laurajay yesterday

dearest  newly  widowed  friends.  

Just  dropping  by  to assure  you  that  most of your  odd  feelings, sadness,  emotional  roller roaster  rides  would  still  be occurring if this  world  viral   crisis  were  not occurring. Unfortunately  you  are subject  to  this  double  whammy  as a  result of  timing!  I  just  marked  8 yrs on  Mar 30  as the death anniversary of my beloved  husband  of  44yr+.  It  was  unexpected and  sudden.  My  grief  has  not  gotten  easier  or  "softer"  as some  will  say.  I  have  gotten  older and  everything  has  changed...neither  worse  nor  better...just  changed.

In  this  scary  time  health wise  your sole  purpose  is  self-nurture  and  preservation.  The  grief  is  wretched and painful . But  as many  worldwide are  affected  now , it  falls  on  you  to  be  your  own  support  system  and  that  is  difficult  because  you  are  already  in  deep  pain. Nevertheless,  you  need  to  eat  nutritiously  avoiding  junk .  Get sufficient  sleep.  Stay hydrated.  Don't  let  news reports invade  your  life  24/7!  Stay  informed  but  do  not  let  the  news  take  over  your  life.  Try  to  not  be  around  doom or  gloom  people  as  this  adds  to  your  grief and  will   not  contribute  to  your  healing.

  Death is  a part of  life.   A  part  everyone  will  experience.  There  will  be  eternity  to experience  death in  whatever  form  it  takes. We  cannot know  that  now.  What  we  can  do  is to  use  our faith  to  fight  fear  and  despair.  As  a  weapon  we  can  choose  to  believe  we  will  get  through  this  not  by any  magical  pill  or  formula  but  day  by  day  one step at a time.  Believe  that  truth  and  beauty  can  still  be  found  in  this  life  on  earth.  We  can  still  give  and receive  love  though we  are  now alone  and it  seems  impossible that  goodness will  return  full measure.  Our  lives  are  changing  everyday  and if  we  do  nothing  the  changes  will  still  take  place.  Find  small  things to  comfort  yourself   each  day.  Think  about  goodness  and  healing  because  what  we  think  about/on  expands .  Know  grief  is  many  faceted  and healing  can take  a very long  time.  Be  your  own  best  friend  and embrace  good by being  kind  and loving and  patient with yourself  from  this  day  forward.  You  are not  alone.  Godspeed.     lj 

Comment by Sander on Saturday

Hello All....if it isn't hard enough to cope with the loss of of my soulmate Dennis and deal with being alone and quaratined because of the virus...last Thursday evening I had to drive myself to the ER because my heart was in Afib.....after finally making it through all the virus protocol...it was determined I had a problem...they tried shocking my heart 2x but it wouldn't stay in regular sinus rhythm so I was admitted...very scary when your by yourself....after 2 days of testing I have medication to help stop it from happening again(hopefully)and blood thinners so I don't throw clots....along with a diet of "Sticks and Leaves"(cardio diet) and decaf coffee...so now I 'm even more afraid of getting the virus because I have an pre-existing condition....it hasn't peaked here in Wisconsin yet....  

Comment by Tanne on Friday

Dear Lisa and Riskybiz,

I struggle with similar problems and asked on the Forum about how others cope with structuring their day, especially in these times. Maybe you want to check out the forum post, it's only a few days old. What helped me the most was the idea of creating a loose structure (like getting up at 7.30, brushing teeth, getting dressed etc. until 8.00, then from 8 to 10 household chores and so on) and and kind of a list for household chores, leisure activities etc. from which I can choose according to what feels best for me in that current moment. I don't say, that I've been absolutely productive this week, hell no. But it did help :)

Comment by Riskybiz on Thursday

Lisa,

I don't stay in bed, I read and get nothing done.  My Rick, of 45 married years has been gone almost five months.  The pain and feeling so lonely is almost beyond belief.  With this virus I am so alone.  I miss him so much I ache.  I don't want to eat, have lost 25 pounds and have no energy.  I force myself to get dressed and  I don't know what to do either.  Part of me wishes to just leave this earth, but it would be so hard for my boys.  They both have families and of course we can't visit but this is so hard.  I wish you and everyone on this site my best wishes and hope things will get better.  We are all in the same miserable journey which none of us ever wanted to take.

Comment by Lisa on Thursday

You guys, maybe I am the only one, but with everything shut down like this I am finding it so hard not to just stay in bed all day every day. I don't have to go in to work now because of the stay-at-home order for nonessential personnel, and I know I am so lucky to be at home and still getting paid; my college and high school kids are home from school, so my house is full but they don't need me to take care of them or manage their schooling. Every day I think I will get up, but then it's noon, or 2:00, or 4:00, and I'm still just lying there. Maybe this time is just a blessing to be able to rest and grieve, or maybe it's just making it worse for when I will have to get up and go back to work, I don't know. For the last five months I've just been wishing that the world would stop so I don't have to go anywhere or do anything, and now that's happened and I don't really know what to do.

Comment by Sander on Thursday

Good morning all.....I was catching up on reading my local paper cuz I was in Florida for a month and there was an article written by my late husbands surgeon about why early detection is so important for Colorectal Cancer....Ugh....I begged my husband many times to GO TO THE DOCTOR....HAVE A COLONOSCOPY..I even had one 10 yrs ago hoping he would have one....nope...he said he was afraid he would lose his job..I didn't buy that...no matter what I said he didn't do it until he was retired for 4 months and it was too late..I still have a lot of anger about that...I cry whenever I think about it....we never got a chance to enjoy retirement together.....you work your whole adult life for that and in 3 yrs.....GONE....now I'm alone to try and enjoy it...at his funeral  I gave everyone a Colon Cancer Awareness bracelet and told them....Please don't "dawdle" like Dennis did....I always have some with me and still hand them out and mail them to friends....I also told people instead of flowers to donate to Colon Cancer Awareness....many did...Thx for this site that I can express my feelings...

 

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