Widowed 2002-2005

Comment

Comment by Rese57 on April 1, 2013 at 12:16am

It will be ten years in Sept for me, I remarried too soon after my beloved passed - I was ravished by grief, in despair and far from friends or family. It has been a very unhappy past 8 years and I have only recently found the courage to leave this toxic relationship and return to my home town where I have children, family and close friends. I feel my grief journey has been 'on hold' - buried - and now I am free to embrace it in all of its painful glory. What I have also found is although I do have wonderful family and friends, and with so much time having passed they don't really 'get it'. They try, but......

Thanks for listening.

Rese

Comment by mick0928 on December 22, 2012 at 8:06am

Well the day has come..the day I dread..the day Tim died. Seven years ago today I lost my best friend, my love of my life, my soul mate and the father of my children. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, talk to him or remember something we did together. The children and I miss him dearly. 

I remember the day I met you,
The day God made you mine.
I remember the day I lost you,
And will to the end of time.
With all the tears and heartaches,
One thing made me glad,
You chose me to share with you
The precious years we had.
My thoughts are always with you,
Your place no one can fill.
In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
I feel you walk beside me,
And when my life is through
I pray that God will take my hand,
And lead me straight to you.

Rest in peace my love! I love you!
Timothy Davis 7/28/65 - 12/22/05 In our hearts forever ♥

Comment by angelsallaround on December 10, 2012 at 7:13pm

Maybe it's partly due to the holidays, but I am just really struggling with depression and feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I know how blessed I am, but am just having a hard time dealing with life's responsibilities solo. My oldest is 19 and we just moved her 12 hours away to Kansas to start a new job and college in January. A few weeks ago her transmission went out in her car and we couldn't find any mechanics who would work on her car for a reasonable amount, so we ended up having it shipped down to Texas.

My middle daughter graduates in June and is planning on going to college as well. My youngest is 15 and has mild mental retardation and special needs. She was in the hospital 3 times this year (two surgeries) and then I ended up in the hospital with a staph infection from a spider bite. 

I work in a career college and due to the economy our enrollment is way down, so we are all in fear of our jobs and I am just biding my time until my 18 year old graduates and then I'm planning on moving closer to family (I haven't really had much contact with them for a while since my parents passed away). I just had to put my special needs child in a daycare because she can't stay by herself and my job schedule is such that I have to be at work before she goes to school and don't get off until after she gets out of school. Now with all of my expenses from medical and vehicle issues (my car is also acting up), I'm struggling to keep up with her daycare costs.

Sorry to go on, but just so tired of having to deal with everything by myself. Thanks for "listening". 

Comment by metromom on December 4, 2012 at 3:37pm

healing now, I am fortunate that my daughter is coming home for christmas. I is 8 years for me to.  Seems like yesterday many days.  Sounds like you have a great idea for dealing with the holidays

Comment by healing now on December 4, 2012 at 12:55pm

Hi there everyone.  Last year it was 8 years since his passing, my kids (both college) were not able to come home for Christmas so what I did was helpful in many ways to many.  I put an ad in a local paper for anyone who was alone on Christmas to meet at a local (nicer) restaurant in a hotel that would be open on the holiday.  We had a brunch, there were at least 8 of us there and all had a nice time conversing and some went to a movie after together.  this was a way to not be alone and yet celebrate a bit with others who would have been alone as well.  I don't do up the holidays much anymore with grown children the fantasy and fun is kind of lost but when I have grandchildren someday I hope to relive it again.  I work in the retail food industry and it is so hard to be festive during this season with so much more to do at work.  But I go to Church service to keep Jesus in the season and to me if I only have a nativity to look at and not a tree all decorated that is fine by me.  I think it is up to ourselves to make things happen at this point, I am lonely so much of the time, but I choose to find things to keep me involved and not thinking so much about it.  So don't know if that helps, but I do hope you can find it in your heart to maybe try and help someone else, who knows, that may very well be what helps you.

My mother in law is always wanting to have us over, but I want her to do what she wants not to just be there for me, and I have my family bt they live across a mountain pass and I do not like to drive in the winter by myself.  SO I choose to stay home.

Comment by tink on December 4, 2012 at 10:57am

Hi Lonely 2003

I just pasted my 8 year mark. I am in the same situation as yourself no children

Don't get family invites. I should not say that they phone a day before Christmas and say are you coming to dinner.  I have decided that I will just stay home for Christmas this year and cook a turkey I have invited a friend over who lost her husband 2 years ago She has a son in town but again they don't phone and say you are welcome to come until the day before. So even those who have children have this problem.  Hey and don't say your sorry for posting your feelings.  Take care and keep smiling .Tink

Comment by Lonely2003 on December 2, 2012 at 12:26pm

Well I just passed the 9th year that I lost my wife and all the holidays are just so hard on me I have to spend them alone because I do not have any kids and I live so far away from my So Called Family.I do not hear from my family unless they either need something or if something happen in the family (but that is only if they feel like calling me to let me know what might of happen in the family).So you can see I am pretty much all alone and the people I live with they have there families that they go to so I sit at home alone but am not all alone I do have my dog but that is not the same of having people around so Sorry to Bother You All with my problem Thank You for being there so I have someone to talk to about my problems I hope you all have a good day (Sunday 12/2/12) Lonely 2003

Comment by mick0928 on December 2, 2012 at 12:03pm

I will be coming up on my husband's 7 yr anniversary on the 22nd of December.  Where has the time gone?  My children hardly remember physical activities with their Dad..they were 3 and 6 when he died.  But what hurts the most is that his passing mmakes Christmas so hard for me each year.  I feel that I am not being fair to my kids but I contunue to put on a front and move on each year.  I don't think it will ever get better but my kids faces eaxh year bring me hope.

Comment by mammalee5 on October 2, 2012 at 8:51am

Sylvia - The great thing about this particular group, is that we've all been "doing" grief for a awhile.  Long enough to know that the journey isn't over.  Ever.  It may not always be like it was in the early days, but it's still there.  I describe my grief like the undercurrent of a stream: it looks peaceful and serene until it hits the rocks of life - then it can look violent.  Your life IS changed forever.  I imagine when all of my kids leave home there will be plenty for me to grieve.  That was going to be our time.  Time to do what we wanted without having to consider the children, the budget, etc.  To be alone together, to travel, to have sex whenever and wherever. . .Name your losses, feel your grief.  There is no "moment of weakness"; only the reality.  Your husband died.  You miss him.  Still. Always.  There is NOTHING wrong with that.

Comment by SylviaMari3 on September 17, 2012 at 12:39pm

Hi Everyone! For some strange reason I was googling blogs about "widowhood" and this site came up. Don't ask me why on earth I would do that after 9 years. I should have joined years ago but never realized there was such a place - or maybe I didn't want to admit I might need a little help and support. Even though it is nine years this year since my husband past I feel I am still grieving ... I think I was so worried about our kids adjusting that I put my feelings on a back burner. Now that I am a "free-bird" (my twins are freshman in college) I am looking around this lonely house and really sad. I know he is out of pain and in a better place ... at least thats what everyone tells me.... but my life is so changed forever ... anyway I guess I just had a weak moment and felt like venting ... I'm glad I found this group and am looking forward to forming friendships with people who can relate! 

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