Widowed in 2006

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Comment by Santa Baby on February 1, 2013 at 9:45pm

Hello, new to all this. I know its been awhile since my spouse passed but it still hurts and there is still grieving going on. I was in a support group for two years but nothing anymore

Comment by Lady4122 on November 28, 2012 at 10:31am

The worst times for me are still from dinner time on.  I miss hearing the garage door open and that familiar "check in " time when we would sit and have a glass of wine and share our daytime ups and downs.  I try to plan as many evening events as possible now but it's hard because I have chronic insomnia and by 7 or 8 at night I'm yawning away.  Last Friday night I went with some friends to hear an amazing local band play in a restaurant.  They started at 7 and by 8 I had nodded off several times .  No one could believe it because the music was so loud!!  I would like to date again soon but have to laugh at myself thinking about falling asleep while he's talking to me over dinner.  I've tried so many meds and supplements and practiced healthy habits before bedtime for my insomnia but it's a stubborn foe!!  Currently my latest attempt at help has been neurobiofeedback.  I've been at it twice a week for 3 months now with a therapist but don't know if I'll continue much longer.  Maybe I'll find a man who has the same problem!!

Comment by Loriwtf on November 22, 2012 at 9:56pm

My husband died May 6, 2006 at age 34 from a sudden heart attack. We were married for 12 years and have two children together and I have two from a previous married that he was a great step-Dad to. Tonight is the anniversary of our first date together. I've dated since he has passed and was in one or two relationships for while but something always seems to be missing. I suppose it is progress that I am even trying. I am coming from a different place into the dating world - I had my soul mate and a good marriage so I can't say that I'm looking to rush into marriage again. The relationships ended b/c the guys wanted marraige and I couldn't do it again. It's that "missing" thing. I am maintaining and raising our two children - our son graduates this year and that is bittersweet. I find myself breaking down more often because he isn't here to share this milestone of our son's life with me. So, I'm maintaining and learning more about myself and trying to find a freaking hobby and the time to devote to it. I'm in a period of self-discovery - finally - and trying to take care of myself better. Trying to come out of the dark. How is everyone else doing?

Comment by Lady4122 on November 22, 2012 at 2:28pm

My husband died in a plane crash September 28, 2006.  We were married for 33 years.  I was widowed for 4 years and then I found another man to spend a good deal of my time with.  We didn't get married although we talked about it and I ended the relationship about a month ago. I felt we were incompatible in many ways and I no longer felt comfortable when I was with him.  Even though I wanted to be alone again I didn't anticipate how badly I would feel.  All the same feelings of loss are coming up and it's as if I am widowed all over again.  At least this time I know what to expect and I don't feel so terrified. 

Comment by Tammie on May 27, 2012 at 6:35pm

I lost my husband February 16th. It was six weeks before our youngest became a teenager. We raised 3 children together. Our oldest 2 were seniors in high school when it happened and my son was with his father in the accident. He was my best friend and I miss him everyday. I have moved forward but never he's never far from my mind. I just keep thinking of all the events that he has missed: graduations, grandbabies, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. I play the "what-if" game some times and often need to remind myself that it will not change anything. I find myself wondering if he would be happy with the changes I have made to better my position financially and health wise.

Comment by Krisser on April 19, 2012 at 10:17am

I lost my husband November 30th. It was one week before our 31st anniversary.  We raised five children together. He was the type that if he wasn't at work he was home. We did everything together. I had been a stay at home mom since our first child was born and now I was watching our granddaughter. He would come home from work and sneak her some french fries that he had bought before coming home. She was only 3 when she lost her grandpa, but they were best buddies.

We had four grandbabies by the time he left us. The three little ones were all under a year but they still talk about grandpa. We now are expecting our 9th grandchild. He would be so pleased. He loved playing with the little ones and they love hearing about grandpa.

I am still having a hard time, but luckily I am still watching the little ones. They help me som much. There is a little of their grandpa in all of them.

I think what I miss most if having someone to talk to. We talked about everything. He was my best friend. I miss the closeness and knowing someone is there to hold me after a bad dream.

We talk about him every day. I still think of calling him when there is news that he would be interested in. I miss hearing him call my name and I miss being able to argue with him.

I guess I just miss everything we had together. Thankfully I have our kids and grandchildren.

 

Comment by Carol in GA on December 20, 2011 at 7:31pm

Christmas # 5.

He and I had begun to fly somewhere on Christmas Day and come back New Years.

Had Christmas with my 20 month old Grand Daughter.  He so wanted to be a Grandpa.  She is such a cutie he would have enjoyed her so but I do know where he is there are much grander things than grandparenting.

Now my son is going to have his first child.  Oh how much his Dad would have enjoyed this new beginning too.  But I see it this way, I get the grand babies all to myself :-)

Comment by Carol in GA on November 7, 2011 at 1:23pm

How are we all doing?  My 5 year mark was 7-30. 

I don't think a month goes by that I have a moment of wishing I had my former life back.  I hate being single...I mean hate!

My children were grown and out of the house 5 years when I became a widow at age 49. 

Things I miss:

Laundry for someone else.

Being comfortable in a relationship.  The comfort you have in knowing they are never leaving..no need for concern about what you say or do.

The trust...knowing he always had my best in mind in all that we did and discussed.

I miss my husband, don't get me wrong, he was the love of my life, my best friend.  I know I will never have him back.

But I also miss the life of team...being married and working through the day to day stuff with someone with me.

I know I can have that back but dang it is hard at this age.

Carol

Comment by shellsy68 on September 3, 2011 at 11:23am

I was widowed in July 2006. My husband was 38 and killed in a car accident.

It still feels like it was yesterday though and I find it so hard to move on. I have two daughters 13 and 18. I have gone back to school and will try to attend the widow meeting in Myrtle Beach. Hope to make some friends in here.

Comment by Eileen on July 30, 2011 at 12:21am

5 years coming up this week. Am remembering all the events leading up to his death. So much harder than I thought it would be.

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