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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2008

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Members: 104
Latest Activity: Jun 23

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Comment by Jo on June 16, 2017 at 9:48am

Just joined this discussion group, but have been a member of Widowedvillage for a while now.

new developments in my life include, i started dating a great guy, for the past year. I think I am falling in love all over again and it is a bit scary at times. He was my first crush at age 14, my family moved away when I was 15 and we lost touch with each other. last year, I looked him up, and he is a widower now with two adult children (I have 2 adult children) He owns a cat named precious. (I own 2 cats, Casper and Renegade) We have been dating a year now and are officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Some discussion has surfaced about moving in together. I am not at all against that idea.

I think that is what my husband would have wanted. he was dying of leukemia and we talked about how I would make it without his support, health insurance, paying the bills, etc. We had the chance to say goodbye. He remarked often how this dying was taking too long. He was in pain and was ready to die, but he lived a little longer just for me. I had to give him permission to die, on his final deathbed and that is the most difficult thing a person has to go through. so my final morning with him was on September 25, 2008.

I have finally learned to move on, should I feel guilty about being happy? No! Our loved ones would not want us to stagnate in life, grieve forever, or stop living just because they were called home to God. My husband is waiting for me in a glorious place now and I am going to spend my finale years happy, full of joy, and creating a new chapter in this life.

I am currently a published author, and accomplished artist (with the courage to have my first major art exhibit from June 8 til July 20 of this year) Being  63 years old is not the end of my journey, it is a new beginning.

Thank you all for this great site, I will be here as a support person, though not an expert in this field because no two person ever experience the same emotions with widowhood. it is ok to move on for me, and it is ok to remember my husband...but I know he is heaven, smiling and rooting for me in all my new accomplishments. I can now move on, without guilt. Remembering the good times brings me tears of joy instead of sadness because I am remembering what i had, not what I lost.

Comment by Mary99 on January 18, 2017 at 8:15pm

Tom and I had a good marriage - he died more than eight years ago now. I married a widower in 2013, and that's a really good marriage too - I really found a soulmate - and yet, I still think of Tom every day, and regret that I can't see him again here on earth. Eight years and I still miss him, and get teary thinking of him and the times we had together.
Sometimes I look at my life, in a different house with a different husband, and wonder how the heck I got here from there. Is that weird?

Comment by Callie2 on July 22, 2016 at 2:57pm
Hi. Anyone around? Wondering how you're doing, anything new or exciting in your life? I don't have a lot of excitement, in fact I try to avoid too much! Same old same old, new insurance opportunities, the company I used to work for is offering retirees some new choices, this will be quite a process. I want to keep my doctors so hoping it all works out, we'll see. A few weeks back, I made the decision to have one of those ventless A/C's installed as I cannot put one in the window myself and central is not an option because I have no ducts. This was pricy but I do not regret it! It is super quiet and it does not blow on me.(I can't stand cold air blowing on me no matter how hot I am) No noisy compressor that wakes me up during the night and since I am a light sleeper,the noise would wake me up at times. You can set it for whichever temp you wish so I keep it around 78-79 degrees and it is perfect. It is great, honestly, love it. It has been hot and quite dry here but oh well, July normally is. Summer's do go fast and in another week or so, we'll be heading into Aug already. Hope everyone is doing well and staying healthy! Take care!
Comment by GG Rose on February 26, 2016 at 2:20pm

Widowette, we should meet half way some day.  With this next move i'm seriously thinking of moving to the cities to be closer to my son.  He actually suggested it!

Comment by Widowette on February 26, 2016 at 7:28am

GG Rose ~ hello neighbor!  I have a hard time finding women who are also widows to make friends with.  Wish you lived in my city ~ would love to have a "cup of anything" with someone who understand the language of widowhood....do you know what I mean?  Or the language of living in a huge house so familiar and then making that decision you never thought you would - or if you did, you would be moving with your husband and it would be more sweet than bitter?  I struggle with our big, old house and what to do or not do.  Mostly I try to ignore it, just can't deal with it.  My heart goes out to you!  By the way, I've spent more time in your city than I ever wanted to over the years, and most recently when my husband was sick.  Blessings to you!  

Comment by GG Rose on February 25, 2016 at 1:54pm

Widowette. I am also in Minnestoa!

Comment by Widowette on February 23, 2016 at 7:22pm

GG Rose ~ I can imagine how this preparation would make one regress - I am so sorry!  I have been in our home for 35 years and if I had to sell it, for whatever reason, I don't know how I would make it through.  Yet, some days the burden is too much and I want to move.  It is so hard and I am sorry, GG Rose!  Callie2, it isn't easy! and I didn't even attempt to start the car....didn't want the surprise of it not working, maybe tomorrow. Jeanine, I ask and ask and ask and ask and pray as much ~ perhaps God feels I can handle more suffering than another.  A 55+ community would be a Blessing if I could afford such a place ~ I am glad you have it as it does sound like healthy support!  mbpdep... we do do the best we can, don't we?  Wish I was in NY - I am in Minnesota!   Blessing and prayers for all of us, truly ~  Good night!

Comment by mbpdep on February 23, 2016 at 6:42pm
Anyone from metro NY?
Comment by mbpdep on February 23, 2016 at 6:40pm
I understand regarding clearing out items. It's hard to let it all go but for me I have to. I'm donating all of the things that are my two deceased.

We have to face many tough and painful things and just have to breathe through it as we do what we have to do.
Comment by GG Rose on February 23, 2016 at 6:15pm

Widowette, no advice here.  Thank you for your post. It totally resonates with me; you put it perfectly. I'm right there with you...sharing many of these same feelings.  Getting ready for selling the house has made me regress.   I can't help it!  I just cannot help it.  

 

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