Widowed in 2008

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Comment by CrazyWidow on August 13, 2012 at 8:17pm

Welcome mbpdep - let me know if we can help you surf the site.  One second at a time.

Comment by BoiseJoe on August 10, 2012 at 1:15pm

mbpdep I can relate I am a 1969 kid too lost my wife to Cancer in 2008 and there are good and bad days esp near bdays, holidays and kids events... I have 2 teenagers and raising alone has been tough Glad I have good kids LOL... It sometimes seems to get better then a bad day happens and you are like this is not fair at all and why did this happen... I am new to this site so trying to see how this site works and how it can help.. How have you liked this site????

Comment by CrazyWidow on August 9, 2012 at 8:29pm

Mary, I must say your post made me smile, heart warm, and laugh.  So glad you found what seems to be a wonderful friend.  Enjoy the relay event with Him.

So glad you weren't the wrinkliest ;)

Comment by Mary99 on August 6, 2012 at 11:41pm

Yes, we did meet up - we went bike riding down at the park.  We biked and talked for an hour and then went out for dinner.  He's educated (engineering), employed (as an engineer, plus teaches a couple of classes at the local university each semester), he has traveled (in the states and abroad) and wants to travel more, can put together a sentence, even writing me thank you emails after each of our two bike dates!

On Saturday we're going to Relay for Life together.  His wife had lung cancer (not a smoker, and was a runner, so go figure) and I had told him about our local Relay event in my emails.  His county has one on Saturday, and in an email I had volunteered to go with him if he wasn't sure about going alone.  He reminded me about it tonight so I'll see him again on Saturday.  Not exactly what I'd call a "date" date, but at this point building a friendship is more important.  His wife passed away just last October so it hasn't been even a year yet for him.  I know that we all react and adapt at a different pace, and when I was at 9 months, I may have thought I was ready for a relationship, but I wasn't.  Maybe he is, but there's no point in rushing anything.

He's a nice guy, not handsome but not bad looking, needs to lose a few pounds, but so do I - so we bike together and then go out for a salad dinner.  We seem to have a lot in common.  No butterflies, but I think it's going okay.   Thanks for asking. This is a little scary - not as scary as it was before we met, but still scary.

 

On another note - I had my 41st Class Reunion this past weekend.  I was pleased that I was not the most wrinkled, not the fattest, nor the grayest person there. (I was also far from the thinnest, but that goes without saying).  I had a good time talking with everyone.  Of course, there was one person who had to say they know what you're going through because their mother died this past year.  I wanted to slap her and tell her that she was never allowed to say that again.  Unless her husband outlives her, someday she will experience this herself and know that it is NOTHING like losing your mother!

 

Comment by CrazyWidow on August 6, 2012 at 9:19pm

Mary, I'm so sorry I didn't read this sooner!  Did you meet him?  How did it go?  I think you should hold yourself in high regard in every aspect.  Be yourself, that's the most beautiful to anyone who will meet you.  Let me know how it went :) *hugs*

Comment by Mary99 on July 25, 2012 at 11:54pm

It's been a year of change for me.  I sold my business this spring and finally discharged most of my obligations by the end of June.  Then it was time to prepare for Relay for Life.  Now that Relay is over with, I find that I can finally explore what it means to be retired.  I have loads to do, just haven't been inspired to come up with a schedule to do them.  (I blame it somewhat on the heat - I didn't feel like doing anything that required effort.)

I also started email correspondence with a man I met on CatholicMatch.  He lives just in the next town, which is good, and is a widower.  We're going to meet for the first time next week, and I feel like I'm 16 years old again. 

What if he doesn't like the way I look?  What if I don't like the way HE looks?  I seldom worried about what my LH thought; he always appreciated the way I looked.  But I'm certainly no belle of the ball - more Bea Arthur than Rue McClanahan.  I'm going to try to not feel dumpy and middle-aged, but this is difficult for me - I have a rather high opinion of myself, except when it comes to my looks.   

Part of me is worried about impressing him, and part of me says, "if he doesn't like the way I look, too bad for him."  I wish the first meeting was over already.

Oh well, the worst that could happen is that I just make a new platonic friend.  It'll give me practice anyway.

Anybody else going through this?

Comment by CrazyWidow on July 2, 2012 at 6:59pm

thanks for sharing Going!

Comment by going to make it on June 23, 2012 at 3:12pm

Dedicated to my husbands. They showed me what the love of our Lord is truly about and what seeing that love in myself and then sharing with others can accomplish.
On International Widow's Day I choose to look forward, with my head held high. It's always a difficult task to make life altering changes. Even when it's something we choose to do, it isn't always an easy thing, but when it's something ...that is thrown on us, without our permission, it can crush the spirit. When someone touches our lives with such great love that it changes the direction of our sails, it's natural to be reluctant to close such a wonderful chapter in our lives. It causes immeasurable grief and sadness to move forward without them; to let go of dreams unrealized and begin dreaming on our own. The greater task isn't to forget the dreams, altogether, but to incorporate small pieces of them into our future, in new and exciting ways.
To take the tiniest glimmers of hope and create great beams of success is a tribute worth far more than any speech. To allow a future once again filled with brilliance is a bittersweet milestone for us all. It is admitting there is an end and looking forward to a beginning and while we, left behind, must continue on, we want to always remain grateful to have been blessed with those who God used to guide us to where we are today. Scripture promises us that though the sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5) so, while our sadness is profound, we can be assured that the sun will shine for us again. On that day, we will find ourselves looking into great possibilities, endless challenges and blessings anew. We will take those that touched our lives the most and weave them into the heart of our future.

Comment by CrazyWidow on June 20, 2012 at 10:11pm

MBPDEP - I'm still amazed at the grief waves when they strike.

Jeanine - Thanks for sharing that quote

Comment by going to make it on June 18, 2012 at 7:57pm

Absolutely relate mbpdep!

Love that quote jeanine! Going to print it out & put it on my bathroom mirror

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