Widowed in 2009

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Comment by Ladydragon214 on November 25, 2011 at 2:02pm

Today is a scary day for me.... after 26 months since Danny passed away, I am going on my first date.  Honestly, I am really only going because it is expected of me by people who seem to think going on a date at age 40, after two years of widowhood means I have some how healed or something. It doesn't it just means I am living my life. 

Thankfully this site gives me a place express how I am feeling about new adventures (good and bad) at this stage of my life. 

Comment by freddieb on November 25, 2011 at 1:55pm

Welcome bad widow!  I just joined this sight in July and it has been a blessing for me.  I wish I had joined sooner also, but I'm glad you are here now.  It is a safe place for you to share and vent. All of us truly understand and have been there and might still be whereyou are now on your journey.  Take care and continue to share. 

Comment by bad ass widow on November 25, 2011 at 1:06pm

I just found this site and I really wish I knew about this 2 1/2 years ago when my husband died.  It has been a long and very complicated time.  I am hoping by joining this I can finally start healing.

Comment by Drewlady on November 14, 2011 at 8:47pm

Hello All!! Yes. Tough time of the year absolute. November 22 it will be two and a half years for me, and our 3rd (My!!) set of holidays without our Pappa Bear. Now that I became a good cook and do the holiday dinners(with help from above) some people keep telling me to stop.Too much for you they say.

However these folks are not inviting the kids and I to holiday dinners with them.

Went to a fab high school reunion for  Pappa's high school  Either people were friendly or said nothing but stared. I did know a lot of people there and half a dozen of his cousins. A cousin who was on the planning committee said someone asked her why is she here the cousin answered to represent Drew. Oh now I get it the classmate answered.

The next day Sunday was a brunch so a  lot of us stayed over at the hotel after the dinner dance.  Couldn't believe guys handing me their business cards with their room number on the back. Well I got a good laugh. Drew and  I knew these knuckle heads from college .

What an interesting journey !!

Last fall and again  tommorow I am attending a Coping with the Holidays workshop. i HIGHLY RECOMMEND. Griefshare.org you can look it up just type in your zip code. But other organizations, places of worship also have them.

 

                                                                               Take care of yourselves

Comment by freddieb on November 13, 2011 at 10:50pm

TyesWidow, I think Holidays are the toughest times of the year because they bring to mind so many special moments in our life.  And, when you think about past holidays, the ones you love come to mind and if they have passed on it is painful to think of celebrating without them.  I'm glad that you have someone amazing in your life, but, I read something in a book for widows/widowers once and it said that you are always a widow, even if you marry again.  When I read that I couldn't believe that could be true, but, from what I've heard, it is true for most people.  Our minds don't stop loving someone because they die.  But, I think that the blessing is that if you want to, you can make room in your heart to love again, even if you still remember and hold dear your spouse who has passed away.  I wish you peace through the holidays.

Comment by TyesWidow on November 9, 2011 at 10:21pm

I have been dating an amazing man for almost a year.  And I haven't felt really sad in over a year.  But seeing the Christmas stuff in the grocery store yesterday made me cry and I've been sad ever since.  I miss Tye.  I love my boyfriend so much but I really miss my Tye.  I still just don't understand why why why this happened to me.  WTF is it hitting me like this again?

Comment by Susan B on October 29, 2011 at 12:52pm

Year two and plus can be a tough time. The reality hits after living in the fog, and it can be depressing. I still miss my hubby dearly, yet know that I have to plan to keep going into my older age (I'm 62) alone. It's a fearsome thought in this day and age where social support and families are flung far and wide.

I'd urge you to keep a journal, write down your thought and questions, seek a group of like minded and situated person for conversation, and perhaps ask your doctor about temporary medication.

Do your best to be good to your body: LOTS of fresh fruits and veggies and whole grains, small amounts of dairy, meat,  and few processed foods. Drink lots of water and try to get quality sleep for 7 to 8 hours. If our bodies aren't healthy, our brains aren't either.

My best to you in your journey--we're all walking together.

Comment by dazed on October 28, 2011 at 6:44pm

Just keep living one day at a time and it will get better.  Some days it's one hour at a time.  Maybe you need to see a doctor and be treated for depression.  You are not alone.  We all understand. 

 

Comment by Amy P on October 26, 2011 at 7:58pm

Shayne,

I wish I had some words of wisdom to help. I'm almost at the same place as you, and there are days that I don't think I can go on another minute. I don't know how it happens but I seem to live through those moments. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone.

Comment by shayne on October 26, 2011 at 5:15pm

To All:

I have really been struggling the past week; very emotional, crying over it seems like everything; I just miss my Tim more every day and it's been 2 years and almost 2 months-everyone thinks I'm doing fine but I'm really in a very dark place and don't know if I can or want to climb out.

Any suggestions?

 

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