Widowed in 2009

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Comment by LifesAJourney on July 17, 2012 at 6:20pm

Today marks the third anniversary of my husband's death. In some ways in feels like yesterday and other days it feels as though an eternity has passed. I've spent the day contemplating what it is I am supposed to feel.  Last night I was sad, recounting our final night together, conversations, what we watched on television, etc.  I was determined not to be consumed by sadness today, easier said than done I might add, but I managed with only a few tears along the way.

Thanks for listening!

Comment by bad ass widow on July 12, 2012 at 2:51pm

Hi Tweedles, sorry for your loss but glad that you found us here.

(((hugs)))

Comment by tweedles on July 10, 2012 at 3:42pm

Hi everyone. Lost my husband on 4-23-09

Comment by lovie on June 27, 2012 at 8:30am

Ashcroft, It is so refreshing to read your inspirational words!  I am nearing the 3 year mark of my husband's death and I agree with you that life is so very different but also holds promise of great things ahead with God's guidance.  Missing our husbands will never go away, but we can go forward with their love and our memories as we know they would want us to do.  Some widows do not like to hear the term "God's Plan" but it is the very thing that gave me strength to get back to living again once my grief subsided.  Blessings to you!  

Comment by ashcroft on June 27, 2012 at 3:05am

It's been 2 1/2 years since my husband, Keith passed away.  My life has changed so much.  It's very different, but still a good life. I miss him, but recognize that I must continue to push myself and move forward.  I joined a bowling league in the fall and I love it.  I know God has great things in store for me and has put some awesome people in my life to help in along the way.

Comment by Suzanne on June 20, 2012 at 9:16am

Hi everyone, thanks for the recent comments. It's almost 3 years and 4 months for me and I agree with all of you in your comments about moving forward. I feel that I've done a pretty good job of that but I just don't want to leave Dennis behind. Maybe I'm worried that my daughter will think that I'm forgetting her dad. Maybe I worry too much. I know that Den will always be in my heart. And my daughter has so many of his traits that it sometimes feels like he is still here (haha). In my journey, I have also discovered the new me. I think that I gave up alot of myself in my marriage....maybe we all do.

I am also in the dating world again. I've been seeing a man for 8 months. He is a very caring and sweet man. I often think like you do, itaintme, that it would be so hard to lose a love again. But I've also decided that I'm not going to let that fear change the fact that I want to be in a loving relationship again. I can see myself with this man for a very long time. And my daughter is slowly warming up to the idea of this man in our lives. But it's been hard for her.....she was such a daddy's girl. She struggles with me being with another man.

Thanks for listening.

Comment by itaintme on June 19, 2012 at 5:33pm

Tiffany, thanks for the update. Everyone, I've not posted here for some time as I'm also a member of the Born in the 40s group and my regular posts have been there. My life has taken a new turn in the past couple of months as I have ventured into the dating world. It was quite scary at first, but there's a rhythm now and I've made some closure. Geoff is not forgotten and never will be, but life does go on. I didn't realize how much I missed having someone in my life. Now, of course, there's the whole "I'll have to lose again" thing going on in my mind as well as he is older, as was Geoff, and the relationship is new. While the thought is in ways unbearable, I've decided that I've survived before and, if necessary, I will survive again, but I don't want to lose the joy I've found. So I'm riding this out to the end, whatever that may be.

Comment by bad ass widow on June 19, 2012 at 5:27pm

Hi eveyone, just past the 3 year mark on Fathers Day.  I have to say the day wasnt all that bad.  I sometimes think that the anticipation to certain events  is worse then the actual day itself.  I also have to say that I am finding myself more and more each day.  I spent 27 years adapting to my husbands way of things (Which I dont regret at all) but I do like finding out that I have some pretty cool traits that I didnt notice before.  So yes although my hubby is always with me and I will alwys miss him.  Things have gotten less hard day by day.

(((hugs)))

Comment by lovie on June 19, 2012 at 5:17pm

Susan B and Suzanne, There are few posts on this group site. As you can see  my first post was in April and you two are the only ones to follow.  I hope that is a good indication that time has allowed many to heal and move forward and no longer feel the need for constant contact with other widows for solace and support. I do feel that my life is emerging toward renewed interest in things again. It will be three years in September that I lost my husband of 36 years to a massive heart attacck. I never thought that I would heal as I have, but I have great faith in God and he has carried me to where I am today. I hope that you are both healing and moving forward again to a brighter tomorrow and life ahead. Suzanne, I think we all feel as if we are losing or leaving behind our loved one when we change, but we must change and grow or we will stagnate and drown in our sorrow! I feel as though I am taking my husband's spirit with me on this new journey ahead. He is not here with me physically, but so much of the "before" me developed from the life we created together so where I go, he goes, too! Forever and ever, hand in hand. I wish you peace as you travel this difficult path toward finding yourself again and living again.  Tiffany

Comment by Susan B on June 11, 2012 at 12:42am

HI Suzzane and Lovie--we always welcome new voices and hearts here. Please join in to the chatter or pose a question whenever you feel like it. 

Yes, we are all in the same boat, and keep on rowing...

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