Widowed in 2010

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Comment by Harpy yesterday

My husband has been gone 2 years, 5 months. We were together 30 years. I am so lonely but I can't even begin to imagine trying to meet new people. If it weren't for my teenage son wanting to go out to dinner once in a while, I'd probably never go anywhere. We were so looking forward to getting the kids out on their own and enjoying retirement. Now all I can see ahead is years of aloneness and loneliness. I'm 49 but it feels like my life is over. Over these past two years I have had several people, some relatives, try to scam me. I cannot trust anyone. My husband was my best friend and I never needed anyone else. Now I have no one.

Comment by Kerryn on Friday

TimetoFly,

I'd like to also have just a male friend to do things with, go to events, etc.  I miss my other half, but after this amount of time, I also hate attending everything alone or with my other "couple" friends.  Yet, like you Mike, I'll have to leave it up to the Universe.  Between teaching full time and handling/attending all my teenage sons' activities, I don't have time for the dating game. 

Comment by Tin_Woodman on Friday

Hi all, TimetoFly is right, we just want our missing half back. Unfortunately, that can't happen... I'm 65, but I'm still working.  We are in the middle of a huge project, so I spend 50-60 hours a week at work.  The other hours are empty and lonely.  Kathi and I had plans for retirement, but there is no reason to retire now.  I too would like to meet a "boon companion" but just the thought of "dating" makes me turn and hide.  I'll just have to rely on the Universe to make the introduction.

Mike L.

Comment by TimetoFly on Thursday

That brings a whole different angle Jerry. I would love to just have a male friend to do things with as well. But she may just be in deep need of having commitment to hold onto after loss. I usually associate it with drowning...some times you grasp onto anything/anyone that is more stable then you. Some times it's just a temporary hold til we get our barrings and other times fear grips you and you can't let go...but sounds like you are just don't have it in you to meet another persons needs as you are in need right now. All part of our journey. We all just want that missing half back so we don't feel so exposed and raw. But until we are comfortable with our 'new reality' we can't move forward and be ready for a new half. Timing is everything but we know it's hard to find someone so we have to keep that in mind as well...Be patient with yourself and as long as you are honest with her...that's all we can do.  Thanks for sharing your success.

Comment by Jerry on Thursday

Well as far as on line dating,I did meet a nice lady on Match. Com. I had put my profile on and she contacted me. She is a widow and lives not far from me. I have been dating her over a year. She is not looking for anything, she seems to be fine financially, as am I . My problem is I just want a friend to date,go to movies, dinner and shows.this is what we have been doing, but she wants more of a committed relationship.i have met her family, but so far she hasn't met mine. In fact I haven't told my 2 married children about her. I enjoy going out with her,but am not in love. She tell me she loves me . I am sort of happy living alone at this point in my life.i understand a lady being wary of being scammed or worse. Just meet in public in a crowded place, and take things slow.

Comment by feelinglonely on Thursday

TimetoFly--I understand everything you said--I lost my husband in Sept 2010 and I just can't seem to get unstuck--the thought of living the rest of my life alone--I'm 64 now is so scary. Everyone tells me--it is up to me--join groups, do this, do that, but I can't seem to. Tomorrow would have been our 44 wedding anniversary--of course nobody will remember but me. They tell me to sign up for all these on line sites--all I have ever heard about them is horror stories--for every good outcome, there are dozens of bad ones. I feel like I am doomed.

Comment by TimetoFly on Thursday

hi all...lost my husband June 17th 2010. (joined 2012 group in error..as I get around this site)  I brought him back home from FL in May shortly before our anniversary 5/29. I feel a bit stuck in a way in wanting to meet someone to keep living and not live the rest of my life alone...but then anxiety hits and I don't know if I can open up to someone after all the hell I've gone through..friends say that if I just 'put myself out there' that I would meet someone...confidence is low to start with but how the heck do you 'put yourself out there?'  Took a big step and went on an online dating sight and just ended up dealing with some strange group or person that targets widows for some reason..thinking it's a hacking thing as they want you to text the person you think you are talking to...scary. So just leaving all in God's hands and the old fashioned way of meeting...right now I'm dealing with affects of tick bite...thankfully mass on my head has gone down after being on medicine..Just wish I had Mike to lean on and have my back...could use a soft landing..thanks for listening..

Comment by crying on May 1, 2013 at 8:11am

Bettynbenny
I hate to welcome you ...wish you weren't here with us. However you are. Just no this is safe place to be with a lot of love and support

Comment by bettynbenny on April 30, 2013 at 11:49pm

hi. just joined up

Comment by goingon on March 30, 2013 at 10:36pm

crying... I agree. Sometimes, you don't have a choice, and I understand. I hope I didn't imply that you always do. We all do what we have to do to get by. Somehow, we seem to survive.

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