This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Widowed in 2010

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

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Dianne in Nevada is your group greeter.

Members: 274
Latest Activity: Apr 28

Comment Wall


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Comment by Numb Claudia on March 23, 2011 at 10:29pm

My husband died suddenly on Feb 6, 2010. We had been best friends for 15 years and were married for 6 before he left. Since we ran a home remodeling business, we were always together. Have a 6 yr old little princess and 4 yr old twins. I am so far from my family and friends from Mexico. I sometimes feel like this is a simple dream and I need to wake up. Other times I feel that I'm numb. I will walk out of this because I'm strong but when will I start to feel real again?

Comment by sue on March 23, 2011 at 6:04pm
Hello Skylark,  It's "familiar" to read your words.  I hospiced my sister, Mom, Dad and then my husband.  I always thought I would be a good hospice volunteer.  In so many ways I would be good. I know how to do this stuff.  But.......always that, isn't husband's (gruesome) death also just took it all out of me, as your words were.  I could never ever ever watch a family go through what we just did.  The pain would encompass me and I would never come out the other side of it.  I know that now in a way I never did beore.  Like you, I avoid anyone or any situation where something "needs me".  I simply have nothing left to give.  I would like to think some of that may come back (in a healthy way), but for now - not happening.  I just need to quit being the caretaker and take care of me for now.  I look around and wonder, "what in the H happened here"?  People really don't have a clue, do they?
Comment by Skylark on March 23, 2011 at 3:05pm
Sue, I know exactly what you mean by your friends wanting you to be you again. People keep forgetting that I will never be the same again. Aside from that, I have always been the caretaker type, and have decided to stop. I don't want to do it anymore. The last few months with my husband, Philip, who died last September of a "mixed glioma" just took it all out of me. I don't want to be everyone's mom anymore. I keep avoiding situations where people depend on me for anything, and I have trouble explaining why.
Comment by sue on March 21, 2011 at 1:54pm

My husband Tim died on Oct 18, 2010, five months to the day of diagnosis with Pancreatic cancer with mets to the liver and lungs.  Despite chemo to keep the symptoms "at bay", it spread to his bones and brain.  It is the most God awful thing to watch.  Somedays are okay, some are not.  I am feeling somewhat lost lately.  I am thrilled to have found this site.  I have one widowed friend, but most of my friends just want me to "be me again".  That hurts and is impossible.


Comment by skyemama on March 20, 2011 at 6:40am
Approaching the 9 month mark.  My husband died July 2010 following a brutal 6 year battle with cancer.  I'm 42, raising our three kids (10, 7, and 4), working full time, big old dog, and am just barely managing to keep it all together.  Great community helps. Reflecting on the love and devotion my husband and I shared for our family inspires me to make it through each day, for our little tribe, for myself.  So glad to have found this online community, as I don't know many widowed people in the 40s, trying their best to define the new normal.
Comment by Deb on March 17, 2011 at 4:05pm
Thank you Carol, where my head knows it's true, I know for me that my heart hasn't reconciled that Michael is gone...  After 10 months, Michael is still such a part of my everyday - as are the tears that flow.  I know I am better than I was, but still have such a long way to go...  Just keeping one foot in front of the other, like so many of us.  I'll light a candle tonight and pray he das found peace...   
Comment by Carol in Calif on March 17, 2011 at 8:09am

I'm so sorry Deb. These anniversaries are especially hard.  Marshall's been gone for over 6 months now. It seems like just yesterday.



Comment by Deb on March 17, 2011 at 8:00am
My Michael died tragically 1o months ago today.  Michael had a heart attack brought on my alcoholism - he fought this disease hard for 12 years.  Michael was always a very kind and gentle soul, my best friend and the love of my life. 
Comment by bettboop on March 16, 2011 at 1:56pm
Hi all, I lost my husband Jim to metastatic melanoma after a 13- month battle. He was 46 yrs young. I am 42, and raising our 4-yr-old daughter alone now. I also have an 11-yr-old son from my first marraige who chose to go live with his dad during his stepdad's illness; it was just too much for him. My mother passed in April of 2009 after a 7-yr battle with colon cancer. Right now, I am just trying to survive. I think I am in touch with the rollercoaster emotion thing.
Comment by Carol in Calif on March 16, 2011 at 8:00am

Hi Gina ... I also lost my husband August 2010 and I certainly can relate to the roller coaster that is everyday life now. I stayed in my bed and cried all day Monday (except for some time talking with a friend from this site). I'm also hoping Spring brings some kind of relief.  Thanks for posting.  It sure helps to hear words from people who know what it is like.




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