Widowed in 2011

Comment

Comment by Braunie on August 4, 2011 at 2:42am

Hi everyone, Unfortunately my husband's death in Feb. means this group is growing.Truly a case of 'bigger is NOT better'.

So glad for this site because it gets very difficult putting on the 'Everything's okay mask'. Thank-you everyone for your honesty. It really helps.

Comment by Marsha on August 3, 2011 at 10:17pm

Even though our husbands are no longer with us we can still say thank you. I've learnt to acknowledge all the things I now realize Bruce did for me. As a couple we did for each other out of love never expecting anything in return. This is another part of the griefing process as we not only grieve for our husband the person but also for the husband the gardener, fix it man, etc. There is so much pain and I never realized I could cry so many tears. We all will miss our loved one everyday for the rest of our life. Someday we will hopefully have learnt to manage the pain. In the meantime I am so grateful to have found this incredible community. I no longer feel so alone.

Comment by mom'staxi on August 3, 2011 at 8:04pm

Personally, I would just take holding his hand right now.  Not even speaking just the knowledge that he was still here would be SO good.  I can't believe it has only been a little over a month my husband has been gone.  It seems like so much longer.  The days are just dragging on endlessly. I cleaned the garage, I don't even know what some of the stuff in there is for...it is so overwhelming and depressing.

Comment by Carolann on August 3, 2011 at 8:47am

Everyday I come across something that my husband would have done too! It always makes me sad because I regret not appreciating my husband more. I start thinking of all the 'should haves' like , I should have said 'thanks' more, or 'great job'. I always told him the lawn looked nice, or thanks for the ride, but now I think I 'should have' done more...it's just so hard , I miss his strong arms around my family, protecting and loving us...

Comment by Bunny on August 3, 2011 at 5:10am

Hi Today was a big meltdown. I was inspired to get started learning about my new fitness device that I have had for 6 weeks and done nothing with (called bodyblade). Decided I would put up the wall chart of exercises- so I got the tacks. And then the worse pain ever - this is ALWAYS the type of job Jane would do. I just didn't know what to do with myself - just cried and cried - missing her so. Now as I write this the tears flow again. I am so incredibly grateful to be part of this understanding support community. I feel for all of us and in this moment I am especially feeling for those who are grieving the loss of their helper and fixer. Actually I guess that includes all of us - having lost our helpmate.

Comment by Ms.J on August 2, 2011 at 9:33pm

Lisa, I know what you mean.  Saturday I "worked" on the lawnmower because it hasn't been used in over a year.  I am trying to get back to doing my own lawn.  I was proud that I changed the oil, filter and spark plug (it's still not working) but part of me was sad because if Mitch was here and feeling ok he would have been doing it or we would have been in there together. 

Sometimes I have those "what if" thoughts of what if he had never gotten sick or "what if" he had gotten better. 

Comment by Lisa (lost) Lamb on August 2, 2011 at 9:20pm

jtod9, I can see how it would be hard. everytime I do something that  my husband regularly would of done I cry when I finish. It's hard to mow the lawn newing an hour of tears will follow. Glad your son did ok.  

Comment by jtod4 on August 2, 2011 at 11:14am

Yesterday was another first, my 11 year olds first day in middle school, he seem to do fine but his mother was always the one to take him.

Comment by Lisa (lost) Lamb on August 2, 2011 at 1:22am

Carolann (((hugs))) to you on your Anniversary. Mine is coming up on the 22nd  and I'm not looking forward to it. By that time I will be just over 3 months out...it still feels like yesterday. KC was my world and I miss him more each day.

Comment by SallyStarre on August 1, 2011 at 3:32pm

I hope your day is spent with memories of a happier time Carolann. 

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