Widowed in 2011

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Comment by Patrick on January 24, 2012 at 6:48pm

to all the comments below about it getting worse....I am further along and can only tell you that grief is an up and down process. Goods and bads. And the durations for either vary. until the bads start getting shorter and the goods start getting longer. Hang in there.

Comment by kittymom on January 24, 2012 at 6:07pm

I am 3 mos out and I agree with all of you that it is getting worse. As each month goes by I focus on how much more time has passed since I last saw my husband. I wake up everyday very weepy and having no motivation to get anything done that needs to be done. Susan L, I too have not let every agency know my husband has passed. Just the little chores around the house that my husband used to do are depressing me. Yesterday I spent 3 hours cleaning a floor model humidifier that I need for my room. Had my husband been here that thing would have been up and running 3 weeks ago. So when I finish cleaning this thing I realize, now I have to go to Menard's to get a water wick filter!! I am making this sound like this is the worst thing I have ever had to do, but right now that is how it feels. There is still so much to do to be able to list my house and everyday chores are just getting me down. Wishing all of us better days!

Comment by smit09 on January 24, 2012 at 5:45pm

susan L:

Oh my gosh lady, I cannot agree with you more.  I am 4 months in, and right when I think things may be turning around, things just get bad again.  And not just bad, really bad.  I just want to hide in the house all day long, under the covers and away from reality.... the only thing is, there is no escaping it, it will never go away.  It's crazy how vulnerable your emotions make you too.  One moment you're smiling about a memory, and within seconds that same memory is making you scream and sob non stop.  I miss him desperately too.  Today the police pulled me over and luckily I had my best friend in the car.  The cop wanted to know why I was driving around a vehicle that was registered to a male?  "well ma'am, this is the car my husband left for me after he was killed by a drunk driver 4 months ago".  I was crying and shaking and just a mess... my best friend put the cop in her place and she let us go.  nuts. ...Changing ownership from his name to my name...ooops, must have forgotten amongst ALL THE G*DDAMN PAPER WORK YOU'RE STUCK DEALING WITH after losing someone you love. Just one of those "one more things" that you have to take care of ON YOUR OWN.

Comment by t2 on January 24, 2012 at 5:30pm

So sorry, both Susans. Today is 14 weeks for me, and I feel a little worse now. I miss her terribly. I wish you, and me, peace.

Comment by Susan L on January 24, 2012 at 5:07pm

Six months in, and it feels like it's getting worse, not better.  I went through a time when I thought things were not too bad, but now they're getting bad again.  I miss him desperately.  My moods have been all over the place today.  I was reading a book, and got to a funny bit, so I was laughing, but then I was crying because he wasn't here to share it with, and then I was laughing again, because it really was funny, and then I was crying because I felt guilty for laughing!  ARRGH!

Comment by Stumbling (Susan) on January 24, 2012 at 5:03pm

Nine months is an eternity to be away from the one you truly loved.  I will love him from here to eternity.

Comment by natkim on January 24, 2012 at 2:21pm

Thanks for all the greetings it means alot more than words can say.

Comment by Letha on January 24, 2012 at 9:22am

Welcome Texassky. So sorry for your loss. ((hug))

Comment by Letha on January 24, 2012 at 9:21am

kittymom, I wasn't referring to credit agencies, but regular credit card companies like VISA, Mastercard, Sears etc. Sears told me I couldn't drop his name since he opened the account..they would have to cancel the card and I'd have to reapply..even though I HAD a card with the same number as his already. I told them fine..cancel it..period. I didn't want it anyway. VISA had to have a copy of the death certificate, but I later found out he had accidental death insurance with them and they sent me money..so it was worth sending the DC. The one I had the most trouble with was Amazon, where he had the Kindle account. They were HORRIBLE to deal with!

Comment by t2 on January 24, 2012 at 8:11am

kittymom, the credit agencies are Experian, Equifax, and Trans Union.

texassky2012, welcome. so very sorry for the tragedy you are going through. hope we can help.

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