Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation


Widowed in 2011

We're so sorry for your loss... and we're here. Say "hi" here, participate anywhere on the site.

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Comment by kittymom on February 14, 2012 at 2:44pm

Letha, that would upset me as well. Not that this makes us feel any better, but many of us are realizing that a lot of the people in our lives are just not equipped to handle their emotions along with ours. Your husband's friend is probably grieving really hard and is probably not comfortable with sharing that with you. I am making this suggestion based on how my brother is handling my husbnad's death. They were friends for 55 years and I see how hard this has been on him and how little comfort he is able to give to me. Just my opinion but you know this friend so I am sure you have your own ideas.

Comment by hendrixx2 on February 14, 2012 at 2:35pm

hi, someone mentioned my name (selfish & self-involved), caryn, susan, kimkirt, sorry you were really feeling it today...see, each of you had something sweet and unexpected happen for you today, know it's not the same as our special someone, but someone made a special moment for you.  i'm glad for you; it makes me feel better just knowing it happened for you...before this happened to me i rarely cared about other folks...

Comment by Stumbling (Susan) on February 14, 2012 at 2:19pm

Thanks, kim and caryn.  It just proves to me that some of God's better Angels are here watching over us. The Flowers, the ballet director, my friend Gary...I guess you could  say we are pretty lucky people.

Comment by kimkirt (KK) on February 14, 2012 at 2:12pm

Awww, Susan! Hugs.

The girls I work with had flowers sent to me at work today. They said they didn't know if it was the right thing to do, they are not Valentine-y, just lilies in purple and pink and dark green, very pretty. I cried and cried. It kind of broke the ice at work today, I was glad they did that.


Comment by Caryn on February 14, 2012 at 1:55pm

That was so sweet of him, Susan. There are a lot of selfish, self-involved people out there, but there are also many who are kind and caring, like your husband's friend.

Yesterday my kids' ballet director took me aside to tell me she was thinking about me and the kids, knowing how hard today would be for us. She had tears in her eyes while she was speaking. It was so unexpected, yet so sweet, that I too burst into tears. It was a reminder that there are people thinking about us and wishing us peace and healing.

Comment by Stumbling (Susan) on February 14, 2012 at 1:47pm

Well, I was doing fine until a few minutes ago.  One of my husbands close friends called to wish Me a Happy Valentines Day.  Then it hit me that today is the last of my "first" hoildays' without Ed.  My heart hurts.  Needless to say, I burst in to tears.  I felt so bad that he made a sweet, caring gesture, and I broke down like that.  But I love he made the effort for Ed.

Comment by Caryn on February 14, 2012 at 1:22pm

My hubby and I never did much for Valentine's Day except for cards and lunch together downtown. We always made the day about our kids. But, regardless, I am really feeling the loss of him today and can't stop crying. All I want is to be with him and feel his arms around me again. I stayed home from work today so that I wouldn't have to see and hear all the love in the air. Probably not the best way to cope, I know, but it's too unbearable for me right now. These holidays just keep coming, don't they?

Comment by heatherL on February 14, 2012 at 1:13pm

thanks for the cheer susan that was very sweet :-)

Comment by Stumbling (Susan) on February 14, 2012 at 1:10pm

I just wanted to wish us all A Happy Valentines Day!  We will always be our loved ones sweetheart!  Hugs to all of you.

Comment by Anne63 on February 14, 2012 at 1:01pm

Hi everyone,

I'm so thankful that I found this site and to all my supportive friends who are with me as I travel this road. There are many - friends and relatives - who for whatever reason have dropped out or unable to be of comfort. I suspect some of this has to do with the current culture of wanting to always 'feel good' and chasing the happiness genie - look at all the ads for prescription drugs, alcohol, resorts, cards, etc., etc. 


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