Widowed in 2011

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Comment by Letha on February 15, 2012 at 7:55pm

Thank-you stephenkansas. I will certainly browse that website and links. My husband rode in the past 2 years of the "Tour de BBQ" in Kansas City! He actually spent a lot of time down there because he worked on the railroad and that was his layover city.

Comment by stephenkansas on February 15, 2012 at 6:53pm

Letha, I know others have sent their thoughts and prayers to you.  I just got home and noticed this thread when i signed on.  My prayers are with you. 

I was a very active cyclist when I was a little younger and served as president of the Kansas City Bicycle Club during that time.  So things like this hit me because I know how vulnerable cyclists can be doing something they love.  

Here is a website which you might find helpful.   www.bicyclelaw.com

This is a website created by an attorney who's practice is devoted exclusively to helping people in your situation.  I realize you already have an attorney and may not need another. However, there are several 'links" on the website and a great deal of information.  I just offer it in a modest attempt to help you in some small way.

Please know that I will say a prayer for both you and your husband Michael tonight.

Comment by smit09 on February 15, 2012 at 6:39pm

letha&lisa: I am on the same page as you... I know I will not be able to fully recover from this until some sort of justice is served for my husband too. I do not want to confront the man that killed my husband, cuz I am afraid of what I would do... honestly.  So I will leave it for the justice system, knowing well enough that the time he will serve will never be enough justice... anyhow.

t2: that's totally okay to believe what you believe. My father is the same way, he thinks that when you are dead, that's it.  I often wondered though, if he were to lose my mother, would he still feel that way!? I guess reading your post, the answer could most likely be 'yes' ...I believe however that there is more to us human beings than just our physical being... to me, there has to be. I won't get into that on here because this would end up being an extensive comment-lol!? either way, whatever is working for you brotha, power, peace and healing on ya! 

*cheers*

Comment by kittymom on February 15, 2012 at 5:35pm

I'm with you Letha!!! I know you won't hang onto your anger for the rest of your life. However, I do feel short-term anger has its place. I think it will help you get the justice you and your husband deserve. Just stay focused on what is important to you right now and when you are ready, you will be able to let go of your anger.

Comment by Lisa (lost) Lamb on February 15, 2012 at 4:43pm

Letha, I agree with you. I would need to get some kind of justice for my husband as well. I could never just let any of this go without being able to confront the man that took my husband, and even if it didn't make him feel or take any responsibility I would need him to understand what his actions took from me and my life. Then I could start to put the pieces of my life back together. You do what you need to, for your own piece of mind. I'm sure what ever you decide to do you will honor Micheal, and he will be proud of you for standing up for him.  (((Hugs)))

Comment by t2 on February 15, 2012 at 4:42pm

just various ones throughout the thread. i usually check out the groups once a week or so...so i'm a little behind.

Comment by Krista Westervelt (whoknows) on February 15, 2012 at 4:34pm

t2, whose comment are you responding to?

Comment by t2 on February 15, 2012 at 4:29pm

I guess I am seeing things differently. I am a very big believer in science, and I recognize the very real possibility that death is the end. It would be great if it weren't. But I feel that I have to be real and try not to romanticize about the afterlife...because I don't really feel there is one. The love I have for my wife is still alive but I realize that she isn't. And that may be the reality of things.

Comment by Krista Westervelt (whoknows) on February 15, 2012 at 3:21pm

So deeply sorry, Letha.

Did they have you do some sort of victim impact statement? Is it too late to do so?

If nothing else, you'd think they'd make the guy go around and do some sort of community service type thing, like having to go around and talk about what happened and whatnot to promote safer driving around cyclists. 

Comment by Stumbling (Susan) on February 15, 2012 at 2:43pm

Hugs Letha.

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