Widowed in 2011

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Comment by suddenlyalone on April 7, 2012 at 12:13am

Yes Hunt it was alot easier than I thought.  Im thinking of pulling out the wedding pics and video and sharing them with our 2 year old.  Happy anniversary to you and I pray you and your son have peace and comfort this Easter.

Comment by JeanMA on April 7, 2012 at 12:11am

Hi, I lost my husband Ray on October 9, 2011.  He had a stroke in March of 2010, had been in and out of hospitals and rehabs, and home.  He was getting ready to come home again when he had another massive bleed in his brain and just couldn't recover.  So it was a long illness but a sudden death.  I am 56 but have a ten year old son; this is a challenging combination and I don't find too many people my age in this situation.   I also have a 35 year old son, who is married with two children.  Also this week my 92 year old mother-in- law is very ill and probably dying.  Just too much loss to absorb....

Comment by Sunflower37 on April 7, 2012 at 12:08am

Hi Suddenly Alone, glad to hear you made it through today.

Comment by Hunt on April 6, 2012 at 11:52pm

Hi suddenlyalone - it helps hearing you got through your anniversary in one piece. Monday, Apr. 9, would have been our 29th. Since it's Easter weekend, I will be with my kids all weekend, my younger (27 yr old) son will be visiting me through Monday afternoon. I'm not sure what to expect from myself with this one - I'm hoping he gets to have a good weekend with dad. He hasn't been home since his mom died, so I think he will need more support than I do.

Comment by suddenlyalone on April 6, 2012 at 11:08pm

Well I made it through my anniversary day.  I went to my husband's grave site, planted flowers and had a good cry.  I was trying to hold them in but I remembered my pastor telling me that when the tears come, to let them flow.  I will admit it felt good.  In between my tears I just started having a conversation with my husband(im sure the gravediggers thought I was crazy).  I wish I was spending our 10th wedding anniversary renewing our vows as planned but oh well....

Comment by Jus me Becca Z on April 6, 2012 at 9:39am

Wow, sometimes we get caught up in our grief and think that there couldn't possibly be anyone else suffering the pains of stepchildren. 2 of Jim's kids stopped almost all communication with him when he and I married. I saw the pain he went through and did everything I could to hold them all together. They are all adult children and they made their choice. Very sad and I still harbor some of the guilt, but slowly I am working through it.

Comment by kimkirt (KK) on April 6, 2012 at 9:27am

I don't talk to my stepdaughter at all (she's 34), but I have a wonderful relationship with my stepson (he's 24). All children are from different mothers (we have a 10 year old together). My stepdaughter and stepson don't talk to each other. The thing is, I readily give my stepson ANYTHING he would ask for of his dad's (the only think he really wanted was his dad's hairbrush, can you believe that??). My stepdaughter on the other hand, yikes! I'm waiting for her to sue me or something even tho my husband and her mom were divorced after a year (they were still in high school and he got her pregnant). What a mess! She is now wanting to friend me on FB (she didn't have a computer before, she lives off the system). Lord only knows what that is all about because I don't call her, it's too exhausting as my stepson says. lol!

Comment by Tommi on April 6, 2012 at 7:27am

Thanks Joyce....I certainly would have loved to have told them all how I really felt, but I believe it would have fallen on deaf ears.  I'm sure they believe their grief is as severe or worse than mine.  This morning my mind was still running through the experience that I had yesterday.  It hit me that this part of my life/grief journey is over.....the one where I had to think about them and all the crap they have put me through for the last 10.5 months.  It's over....my life does not include them, their drama, and their greed.  It's truly a weight that has lifted.  Yes there is still quite a bit of "heaviness" that goes along with this life, but at least I can put some it behind me and move on.....here's to better times.....

Comment by Joyce on April 6, 2012 at 12:49am

TommiJ:  You get a standing ovation and I think you took the high road!  Congrats!

Comment by Tommi on April 6, 2012 at 12:47am

Thanks kittymom...would love to hear your story.....seems like I was ok to be here for my husband (their father) when he was healthy, and even in his illness, but when passed, it became different........I don't know that I could deal with someone who had children.....too fearful that I would go through this again......

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