Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

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Widowed in 2011

We're so sorry for your loss... and we're here. Say "hi" here, participate anywhere on the site.

This group's greeter is @Janet.

Members: 445
Latest Activity: 3 hours ago

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Comment by Ann B on May 5, 2012 at 11:18pm

Hugs to you Larry. I am so sorry.

 

Comment by LarryT on May 5, 2012 at 11:13pm

JeanMA: Yes, mad at everyone and everything, including Amanda. I got mad at people telling me "God has a plan".

Then mad at people for saying "if theres anything you ever need..." 10% of them meant it.

Mad at people for saying "it's ok to be mad at God", i'm like "WHY, did God do this on purpose".

Then mad at God because he may have.

Mad at people for enjoying the holidays while i was miserable.

Mad at people for complaining during the holidays because HEY, you still have each other so get over it.

Mad at people for volunteering to baby sit and not following through.

Mad at people who get mad at me for not asking them to babysit.

Mad at my friends for not asking me to hang out.

Mad at my friends for asking me to hang out (they know I have a kid right?)

Mad at my friends for not wanting to share their problems because "my problems dont even compare to what you're going through, Larry."

Mad at my friends for complaining about their silly-ass problems, "HEY, I lost my wife. Get over your petty mess."

Mad at facebook for people posting pictures of their happy little families.

Mad at facebook for people complaining about their spouses and relationships.

Mad at myself for being so duplicitous.

And yes, even mad at Amanda. She was a planner and had everything figured out and used to get on to me all the time about i didn't exercise enough, and i needed to be healthier. She actually used to tell me "something is going to happen to you and you're gonna leave us all alone." Well, she was the one who left us all alone and it wasnt something she could plan for. It was some random unknown bullsh!t. And now I have to raise this precious little dude without his mom! I waited a long time for the right girl to come along. Got married at 35. Hadnt seriously dated anybody since high school. Met her and said this is it. She was worth the wait and I only got to keep for 3 and half years!? That is GARBAGE!

So yeah, I'm right there with you. Somedays I'm fine, and somedays I'm pissed.

I just want to be happy again. I miss her so bad. SO BAD. I want us all to be happy again.

Comment by janet on May 5, 2012 at 9:57pm

I posted a comment on a site on FB and now I am under attack because I said what I thought.  Decided to delete the post.  I now understand why some friends of mine that I made on the site removed themself from the group.  I may do that as well.  Apparently we are not allowed to express our true feelings.

@Ann B, i so agree with you. 

 

Comment by Ann B on May 5, 2012 at 9:43pm

I have lost all my patience as well, especially when people whine about everything. Life is too short to complain and whine all the time. I also have no patience for rude people.

Comment by janet on May 5, 2012 at 9:39pm

JennaMA3, I am that way about something.  I have patience for somethings but not other things.  I have found that I am becoming more vocal and say what I feel and think.  I am finding that some people who continually whine about the same thing really gets to me.  Before I would just think to myself "That's they way they are." but now find it get's under my skin and makes me mad.  I did not used to be that way.  Seems like there is a whole new learning process with of dealing with grief.


 

Comment by janet on May 5, 2012 at 9:31pm

@mscevinger, thank you for the information.  I will do that Monday.  I also have to get his jeep into my name so I can probably do both at the same time.  Those are the only two things left for me to do outside of cancelling his driver's license with the state.  Need to check on how that gets done.

 

Comment by Sunflower37 on May 5, 2012 at 9:08pm

Hi JeanMa, yes I'm the same way too, but now it seems to be tapering off. My Sweetie, Kevin passed away last May. Some days, I'm like that at work...I just don't have the same patience I use to, drives me crazy. It's still out of character for me. Hugs to you. MLA ~ WB <3

Comment by smit09 on May 5, 2012 at 8:35pm

OH i am so with you there hunny!!! My hubs died in september, and I've never really ever been mad at him...but I can relate to being mad and angry at everyone else. It's not like me, I have always been a positive person, looking at the bright side...but just take for example the other day, the youngster working the drive-thru got my order wrong, and the old stacy would have blown it off, and took it easy, but the new pissed off stacy goes "what the hell is going on back there??? do you have something wrong with your headset, or do you have a wax buildup in your ears??? jeeesh"

the kid scrambled to correct it. 

jeanMA: just my opinion, but I think you are doing a fine job for directing

your patience toward your son.  I can relate to your frustration with others, and i just hope that eventually my niceness will come back at some point, because it really does suck being irritated all of the time, LOL.

peace and healing everyone.

Comment by JeanMA on May 5, 2012 at 6:21pm

Is anyone else out there just mad at everyone and everything?  I lost my husband last October.  I haven't gone through a phase of being angry with him for dying, but just about everyone and everything makes me disproportionately mad right now.  I used to be a nice person but now I don't have any patience.  What little I can manage I save for my 10 year old son.  

Comment by mscevinger on May 5, 2012 at 5:15pm

@Janet - I live in Texas too.  All you have to do is call the county tax assessor and let them know your spouse passed away.  All mine did was ask for the death certificate and several months later the house was in my name only....no money, no wills, no hassles. Honestly I was sad when I got the homestead info and it just had my name on it...but it was one of the things I needed to do.  Now on to the next things. 

 

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