Widowed in 2011

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Comment by Herekittykitty42 on May 28, 2012 at 12:07pm

Ugh...I was widowed  on July 18, 2011, and today is my first wedding anniversary without my husband.  I'm doing better than I expected, we had such a wonderful wedding in Las Vegas, and we enjoyed nearly 20 wonderful years together.  Ironically, a coworker was widowed one month before I was and we share the same anniversary.  We're getting together this afternoon to help each other through the day.  Love to all of you.  Susan

Comment by chris on May 26, 2012 at 7:23pm

musiclady: I think it is good that you went out and I understand it was not easy. I certainly have screamed internally at a lot of people (and some externally), but nevertheless I encourage you not to wait too long before venturing out again because ultimately outside is where your world is going to be.

FWIW, I have found divorced people very helpful with single parent issues. From what I've seen divorce is very different than death, but in some cases it appears to be just as painful. There is almost always common ground if you care to look for it. I have also found that at times I've felt saw raw that any and every one upsets me. It takes time.

Comment by jimswife33 (Michelle) on May 26, 2012 at 3:47pm

Hi Mary, Sher and Suzzy,  Hugs to all of you.  My Jim and I were together 33 yrs.  He passed 5 months ago.  This place has been a lifesaver.  Its so helpful to have others to talk to that understand what you are going through and how hard this journey is.  I hope you find some peace and healing here.  

Comment by jimswife33 (Michelle) on May 26, 2012 at 3:41pm

Patty Sue,  good for you!  I have a peach tree and was wondering where my peaches were going.  The other day, I was standing there looking at it and what is staring back at me, a damn mouse!  I got a shovel and whacked him but he grabbed on the tree and feel down and ran under my deck.  Little stinker, well I have since put out the traps.  Havent caught any yet though darn it.  It made me miss Jim even more because normally I would have been far away watching him do it. 

Comment by Sherbear on May 26, 2012 at 11:55am

(((((((Mary Brown))))))   (((((((((Suzzy))))))))) Big old hugs to you both.

 

As I read everyones posts I to don't feel alone in my day(s). Yes, it's a roller coaster of a ride. But, we are all connected as we ride this out together. And rambling is definately allowed if not encouraged as we survive this time moment by moment.

Comment by suzzy17 on May 26, 2012 at 8:32am

Hi just wanting to join in, have read alot of posts and find them helpful Loss my husband of 32yrs 5mths ago from a sudden fatal cardiac arresthe was 55yrs I think things are getting harder now the shock is less but i just keep on wanting to wake up from this nightmare

Looking after 5 grandkids tonight alone and just want to cry,doing this alone is just not the same Anyway just wanted to see if this( writting ) helps me and at least I know people on this site understand Thanks

Comment by Mary Brown on May 26, 2012 at 7:35am

Hi I don't write much read comments it helps, I lost my Jim after 35 yrs last Feb.

I am greatful to have had such a wonderful man, but now I try to  think of the future and dont care. I work full time, thankfully have many blessings family friends my home 3 dogs I love good company, but I am so lonely,  the empty feeling just keeps creeping in all different times I think I am doing good then I am angry or crying or in a frump alone. I let myself go through it now realize it is part of grieving. I went to bereavment group last year met some good people we connect still not to often, I am thankful for this site because I can read and find others going through same journey, helps get by the day today .

I have had to do so many things since I lost Jim, we always talked made decisions together so that has been so hard to  do I think what would Jim say,  an go with it. I had so many major home fix issues roof,furnace trees  an well you know,  an still dealing with legal stuff we had no will.

It was Jims Birthday this month, I did not even think about it on the day, I tuned out so I could funtion I guess, then delayed 2 days later fell apart  at work, often now feel angry not at him really at life,  at having feeling of no controle , well anyway I have been rambling on  thanks for the therapy here.

Im not real computer savey but trying to learn more  thanks!

Comment by Patty Sue on May 26, 2012 at 1:32am

The funniest things can make you miss your mate. Off and on over the years we have had problems with rats in our backyard. They live in the trees belonging to the neighbor on the other side of the back fence. Herb (my hunter husband) always prided himself on being able to catch any mice or rats that ran the fences. Well, while watching my guava trip dip down a bit too heavily the other day, I realized I was looking at a small cat-sized rat not a heavy bird. I had to do the rat-trap thing this time...and after two days I caught the sucker. Herb would have been proud! Still it made me miss him even more! Just had to share -- thanks for listening.

Comment by tomdar2 on May 26, 2012 at 12:58am

Musiclady - Your friends meant well, but you should say something so they know and won't repeat the mistake. Try going out again. Sitting home alone is way worse.

Cristina - Welcome. I'm very sorry for your loss. Talk when you are ready. ((hug))

Sherbear - I think the timing is different for everybody, but having just hit 12 months myself I can say it is a dark place. I've found the more I get out with family & friends the better I am.

Joyce - You always offer awesome advice. :-)

Comment by Joyce on May 25, 2012 at 7:27pm

Christina, lots of people never chat, just go to the top bar where the word home is and read the past forums and blogs.  I'm sure reading them will bring comfort to you.   Also on the top bar next to the word Home is a tab for Soaring Spirits Loss foundation, there you will find Widow's Voice where you will find blogs written every day of the week by different widows/widowers.  I think you will be glad you found this site.

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