Widowed in 2011

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Comment by Sherbear on June 13, 2012 at 12:28am

(((((mem5711))) ((((Wincy's Mom))))) ((((Bunny)))) ((((Lisa)))) ((((Patty Sue))) ((((TomDar2)))) (((((Missy))))

Big Old Hugs all around

Comment by mem5711 (Denise) on June 12, 2012 at 8:28pm

Today makes 10 months since Andre' passed. Though I'm able to smile and get through the days, I'm still having trouble at night. I just came back from my son's home (dropping off 22 month old grandson) and really dreaded coming home. He wasn't there waiting for me to come in....always with a hug. Sometimes I miss him so much it hurts:((  

Comment by kimkirt (KK) on June 12, 2012 at 4:23pm

HUGS Wincy'sMom. 

Comment by Hunt on June 12, 2012 at 1:23pm

Kathi- I am so sorry for your loss. My mom died of Creutzfield Jacob Disease about 25 years ago - truly a horror to watch. My heart goes out to you and your kids.

Comment by carolynne on June 11, 2012 at 5:21pm

Kathi, I got tears in my eyes reading  your post. I'm so sorry for your loss, but so glad you've found us. Keeping you and the kids in my thoughts and prayers.

Comment by Wincy'sMom on June 11, 2012 at 1:21pm

Had a wonderful weekend with friends, but it's always there...I'm alone now.  There is no husband to go home to, there is no hand to hold, no one to share all the weird little things in a day with.  It's not just my loss of him, but all the things that died with him, his stories, his memories.  I do not think I will ever feel really happy again, my life went from fairy tale to horror story in the blink of an eye and now what do I do?  My pain after nearly 17 months is ever present, like one of my arms or legs, it's with me everywhere I go.  Sometimes I forget it, like my keys or my purse, but I find it again, always there for me, waiting to attach itself to my heart, my soul.  Oh, I'm yammering.  Love and hugs to you all today, praying and hoping your journey is softer.

Comment by Bunny on June 11, 2012 at 1:12pm

Today it is 16 months since my beloved Jane passed and it still does not seem real. Most of the last 18 months I have not been home. I was last summer and now this summer - it is so much more potent when I am at home - missing my partner. AND I am still very unmovtivated to do much. It is a nice day so I think I will see if I can get myself outside and maybe go to the sailboat to put some things away. Mostly I do continue to commit myself to being present for whatever I am feeling. It is a long time since I came to widowvillage and today I feel like there is nowhere better to turn than here - just to talk into the space where I know everyone understands whatever we feel here with our loss. I long for the day when I will happily and truly feel engaged. What is strange is that mostly I do ok getting by. Being home here on my own is the hardest to get myself engaged. I feel I could write all day and also feel I could just stop here in the middle of a sentence. Thanks for all the love that flows around this place for all of us just exactly where we are.

Comment by Lisa (lost) Lamb on June 11, 2012 at 2:59am

It's now been a year sense I touched his face, felt his touch, his hugs and his kisses. I managed the year anniversary without falling totally apart. But 3 weeks later your 50th Birthday almost killed me, I took to my bed for over 3 days, I didn't want to go on. So many scary thoughts went through my mind. I hate the way it made me feel, but I had no way to stop it. I need to try to start structuring my life so I have something to do each day that forces me to get up and get moving. Other wise I could see myself staying in bed for days even weeks at a time. Now just to find the place to start. Wish me luck.

Comment by Patty Sue on June 10, 2012 at 8:42pm

I can't help thinking about last year at this time. My husband Herb was having all these secret phone calls to people planning 3 surprise birthday parties for me at the end of June. I suspected something was going on but didn't know exactly what. The parties were all wonderful in their own way but I think they wore him out and he had his first stroke on Judy 8. I want to remember happily how much he loved surprising me and all this flurry of activity last year...but it is making me sad right now. Letting go is still such hard work.

Comment by tomdar2 on June 10, 2012 at 8:17pm

Sherbear & MrsHulse: ((hugs))

Today we buried Darlene, along with the ashes of our previous dog Riley who passed away in 2002. Now I know why we were keeping him around.

It was a little hard, but I'm in a far less brain dead place than I was at this time last year (she died 5/23/11). The whole family was ready. Afterward we went to DQ. She loved her Strawberry Cheesequake Blizzards, especially in those last few months, and it was nice sitting there as a family talking about stuff over DQ treats.

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