Widowed in 2011

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Comment by alliot123(Susan) on June 20, 2012 at 11:11am

Our anniversary is Saturday it would have been our 28th an it would have been Wayne's 57th birthday. Only the 2nd anniversary without him. I just want to stay in bed all week. I just can't believe I'm a widow at 47! Really struggling this week

Comment by suddenlyalone on June 20, 2012 at 12:11am

Hi everyone, I have been peeping in every now and then. I have been apartment hunting these last two weeks. After catching up on all the posts, I was thinking on what to do on my 1st anniversary that my husband died and decided that I'm going to plan a trip for my son and I. Sylvester died the week of thanksgiving and I don't think I will be able to celebrate the holidays with family. Hello to all newcomers and sorry for your loss

Comment by Mark99 on June 19, 2012 at 9:14pm

mem5711 Not sure what I can add to this but last September I went to my best friends wedding. She was actually married a year earlier but put off the event since her husband was dx with throat cancer. He is doing well and they had a huge wedding last Sept a month after Donna died. Donna and were going to go and Donna bought a lovely dress and shoes etc. Which I just donated to CancerCare.org 

It was hard going but Kim let me be the train fairy and I got to hold her train and move it so she wouldn't step on it. Took my mind off of Donna not being there to make fun of those who may have been poorly dressed. It's not easy and there is no secret to getting through that first event other then just live in the moment and memories and the joy. You'll be okay not great but okay.  

Comment by mem5711 (Denise) on June 19, 2012 at 6:31pm

Okay.....Friday night I'll be going to my youngest son's best friend's wedding. They were groomsmen for each other and have been best buds since childhood. It should be a happy occasion, but I can't seem to stop crying. It will be the first time I've gone to a special occasion without Andre' and I'm dreading it. I'm used to doing the little things without him....but on these special occasions are the toughest. My daughter-in-law has been great....said she'll never let go of my hand. I just hope I can hold it together:(((

Comment by Letha on June 19, 2012 at 6:02pm

I got some pills from the doctor to help relax the muscles in my back. Unfortunately they seem to relax ALL of me and I seem to fall asleep every time I get too comfortable on the couch. Guess it doesn't matter..I can't do much of anything anyway until this heals. Even had to ask one of the guys who was putting in my new fence today if he would be nice and carry all my recycling bags to the curb. I knew they were too heavy for me to carry out there with my back hurting. He also dumped the new 33 lb. bag of dog food into it's storage bin for me. I sure will be glad when this is all healed. I'm bored not being able to work outside!

Comment by Patty Sue on June 19, 2012 at 2:59pm

Letha, take care of that back. I have been through a similar thing in the last several weeks. Inactivity sucks for me too. But I then succeeded in reinjuring my back by falling backwards while playing tennis! Does grieving make you even more klutzy?

For everyone who is unfortunately here: someone many years back gave me a rule of thumb that has helped me be patient with myself through this ordeal. I had had another loss then, and they said to give myself a month for every year I knew the object of my loss before I would expect to feel myself again. It didn't happen exactly on schedule but it was helpful in terms of being tolerant when I burst into tears unexpectedly or felt like sticking my head in an oven. Hugs to all.

Comment by Mark99 on June 19, 2012 at 1:48pm

Cathexis, Decathexis, and Other Fun Moments in Active Grieving 

http://tiny.cc/8qv5fw

Comment by Letha on June 19, 2012 at 10:34am

I've had no problem with lawyers..but insurance companies stink!

Comment by tomdar2 on June 18, 2012 at 10:22pm

Don't get me started about lawyers...

Sherbear, we'll all be keeping you in our thoughts. Stay strong. ((hug))

Comment by Letha on June 18, 2012 at 4:11pm

It's been probably two weeks since I was last here so I won't even attempt to go back and read everything I've missed. Hello to anyone who is new..and I'm sorry you have to be here. Hope everyone is doing okay. My home/landscape renovations kicked into high gear a couple of weeks ago and by the time all the workers leave in the evening I am so tired I usually bypass the computer for the couch..where you'll usually find me asleep by 9pm. But things are almost done and it all looks wonderful..so guess it was worth it.

As for me personally, my lawyer called Friday and it sounds like things with the insurance company for the man who killed Michael are close to getting wrapped up. We all settled on a dollar amount long ago..it's just taken them nearly 8 months to figure out we're not going away and they actually DO have to write the check.

I hurt my back this morning working in the yard, so today I've just been taking it easy. Can't bend over or pick anything up..so that leaves me sitting in my recliner doing nothing. I don't do 'nothing' well!!

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