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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2011

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Members: 506
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Comment by chef (John) on May 31, 2017 at 11:39am

I amazed it how far I have come since my husband/wife died.

So true. In the beginning, I was told to take "baby steps" by people who were further along then I was. I wasn't sure that could believe them at the time, because time was just standing still back then as far as I was concerned. Somehow, they were right. I can now look back and see how far I've come. I am still largely the guy I was before Judith died, but part of the person who I was prior to becoming a widower is now just gone--and I both miss that part of me but also recognize that this change has taken place.

Comment by Princess Warrior Widow on May 19, 2017 at 5:22am

Barzan,

The season that really gets me is the end of the farmer's market each fall.  I had not really paid attention to it until last fall.  Wow this time is hit me really hard.  The good thing is that I know that the grief storms will pass and that I can deal with them.  I amazed it how far I have come since my husband died.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Comment by Barzan on May 14, 2017 at 6:41am

Marsha and Gaining,

Being on this unfortunate journey, we have unpredictable triggers that can set of a variety of emotions.  We don't have warning, they just come.  Sometimes a commercial on tv can bring me to tears or profound sadness from something that happened to someone I know.  There is no guide for us to follow on how to deal with these and we just have to find our own way.  I push myself to go for a walk or immerse myself in a book.  We all need to find what works for us.

We have people in our lives that also keep us going.  My family is very important in my life.  And being that it's Mother's Day today, I will all moms a blessed day.

Comment by Marsha on May 14, 2017 at 4:49am

I don't come in to WV much any more. Brazan you just made me feel that I am not crazy. There are times I just don't feel connected and do wonder why I am here. This journey of widowhood is not for the weak. I do enjoy my grandson immensely and he is a reason to go on. Just seems so hard at times yet we have all come so far on this journey. Also with my brother having terminal cancer and another friend now fighting against this horrible disease, it opens up the wounds and emotions of loss. I did not lose my husband to cancer yet my heart breaks no matter what the reason for anyone now facing the journey. So we continue to breathe and put one foot in front of the other. Some days better than others. Sending much love to all walking this journey and feeling blessed having met such incredible people along the way.

Comment by Gaining Strength on May 13, 2017 at 5:08pm

Barzan, I feel loss at odd times. Today I went grocery shopping. Everything was fine when suddenly out of the blue, I felt that dark, low, sad, cloud came over me. I just stood there staring at the bunker until it passed. I do not believe it will ever stop.

Comment by Barzan on May 13, 2017 at 6:23am

Princess  and Gaining Strength,

Finally had a chance to read the posts.  Yes, the Roberta Flack song is so beautiful as well.  There were some amazingly beautiful songs back then.

My week has been taken up with clearing branches and debris after a horrible hail storm here in Colorado.  I had golf ball sized hail decimate my trees and dimpled up my car.  So many had windows, windshields and roofs damaged.  I feel pretty lucky that it wasn't worse. 

I have a question for all of you.  Are there seasons when you feel you loss more?  I've given this a lot of thought and for me it's the summer.  We spent evenings sitting out on the porch and just talk and enjoy the beauty around us.  I get the winter blues but had even when my Barney (yup, that's his name) was alive.

Comment by Princess Warrior Widow on May 12, 2017 at 8:10am

Gaining Strength,

I am glad this site too.  It is good to be able to communicate with people who understand and don't judge.  Have a good weekend everyone.

Comment by Slick on May 12, 2017 at 6:34am

Cee....so beautifully written and all so true...thanks for sharing...HUGS back to you..

Comment by Cee on May 12, 2017 at 6:29am

When I signed in this morning I went to the group list so I could link in here. It gave me a start to see how far down the list 2011 is. So sad that so much time has passed without our loved ones. If feels like only yesterday we were planning our retirement activities.  I miss that guy and our life together.

 HUGS to those of you facing anniversaries at this time.  The individual days are getting easier and I don't dwell so much on individual days as I do the overall loss. So if any of you also let one of those days slip by, don't be hard on your self - I think mother nature (or God or __) is helping us to move on. It is hard to be alone - even those that have people around - it isn't the same closeness we had. 

 I appreciate the fact that we have this site and the people in this group to share with. (((HUGS)) to all of you.

Comment by Gaining Strength on May 11, 2017 at 1:40pm

Princess,

The song is older than 38years. My wedding anniversary May 20, 1978 is 39 years ago. I thought it was 38. Cannot count. It was our wedding song chosen by him. I wanted "don't go changing" Billy Joel but that was already taken by his brother. Anyway the "the first time" was stunning. I like Evergreen. That era produced such beautiful songs.

 

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