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Widowed in 2011

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Comment by Slick on June 21, 2017 at 3:33pm

Absolutely......Brazan...I have 2 e-mail friends on here...who I love dearly...

Comment by Barzan on June 21, 2017 at 3:26pm
Slick - I'd love to discuss politics as well. Perhaps by email.
Comment by Slick on June 21, 2017 at 3:15pm

I have to agree about ...the political climate....and having no one to share it with....I don't watch much anymore..and I am passionate about politics...I just can't stand the mess that 's going on, the lies...etc....all BS to me....As Barzan I try to find a comedy, even a reality show will hold my interest and give me a laugh....year 2 was my all time worst year....It was 6 years for me on March 6th....I found at that point I had accepted the changes in my life I am OK alone......I dated someone for 4 months and found that I really am better off alone....I come and go as I does get lonely but I find ways to be around people even helps....the 6th year was my hardest in accepting that I could and probably will be alone the rest of my life....

Comment by Barzan on June 21, 2017 at 4:50am

Shirlene - I find that I have to watch comedy shows, game shows, House Hunters and the like.  Evenings have to stay away from things that I may carry to bed with me and keep me awake.  I also have a pet that provides comfort and cuddles. 

Comment by Shirlene on June 21, 2017 at 3:18am
Barzan - I feel the same! The political climate does not help my mental state. The chaos seems to exacerbate my own inner chaos! I find myself turning off the news more often now.
Comment by Barzan on June 20, 2017 at 5:35pm
Yes, year 6 has been particularly hard. I think, for me, it may be the political climate and so many terrorist attacks lately that have added to it. It seems like we are dealing with so much beyond our personal grief that we are emotionally overwhelmed.
Comment by Pelican on June 20, 2017 at 3:53pm

I can definitely relate to everything that has been posted by everyone.  My six year anniversary was also last month.


 Fortunately, my niece (25) moved into my house a couple of years ago.  I am really enjoying her company but there is definitely a difference in our generations.  


My niece and I are both dealing with harassment from our male next door neighbor.  This is definitely bringing back a lot of grief.  It is very difficult to not have my husband around to help me deal with this situation.  My husband dealt with this male neighbor in the past but was also very frustrated by him.  I would like to stay in the same home but also feel that I need to move. I have lived in this house over fifteen years.   I am also frustrated and angry that someone is forcing me out of my home.  It has become an over whelming situation.  I also feel alone and scared.  I do not know where I would move to.    

I also do not know if it is worth it to keep calling the cops, attorneys or just move?



Comment by LucyGoo on June 20, 2017 at 3:35pm

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. August 19th will be the 6th anniversary of Bob's death.  I have been in a very dark place for the past few months - darker than I have felt for some time.  I know that part of it is that I have had so many losses in the past 18 months or so and there is another one coming fast.  That part is normal I suppose - but I think it's more than that.  I just feel so alone.  I am very fortunate to have really good friends and family, but I still feel alone.  I think that like Deb, I was hoping to be happier by now - having survived 5 years of such deep grief I just wasn't expecting to still be crying so much or so often.  I think I just miss that intimacy of having a partner to share my days. I was so proud of having weathered those 5 years, but now I'm looking down the road and it seems like an awfully long way.

Comment by Shirlene on June 20, 2017 at 3:14pm
Have any of you been really hit hard in year six? I am having the worst time EVER in my life - regretting some of my choices I've made in my widowhood and how I've lived my life since my husband died. I am raising a son with autism without much of a help network, he was 5 when his dad died. I realize I have effectively "sheltered in place" in so many ways. My friends say I'm beating myself up unnecessarily over a very tough situation and things I can't go back and change. I had some health issues and surgery in January and had nothing but time alone with my thoughts during recovery. Also I had my first experience in the dating world and it hasn't gone so well and has made me feel very inferior. If you've been here, I'm truly sorry- it sucks!!!
Comment by Deb on June 20, 2017 at 1:41pm

Mark99, I wish I had the ability to collect my thoughts & present them in a comprehensive & coherent way.  Those of you who can blog & journal are so fortunate to have that outlet. 

I'm finding that I'm being much harder on myself than anyone.  It's *me* who is expecting that by now I should have adjusted to my "new normal" and found peace in my situation.  Perhaps if I were in a new relationship, I'd be encouraged to look forward with happy anticipation.  But I'm not, so I am feeling sorry for myself and wondering if it will ever get better.  I *have* been on some casual dates, but none have materialized into the kind of "relationship" I am looking for.  

My friends are very supportive and I'm certainly grateful for their presence in my life, but your friends aren't your partner - the one person you wake up with every morning, cuddle with in bed at night, the one who knows all your quirks and loves you anyway... the one who will never give up on you.  I can't even begin to express how much I miss that in my life,  (I probably don't have to… I'm sure you already know). and I fear that I'll never have that kind of relationship again.  Navigating  thru the chaos & uncertainty in the world we now live in without the one person I counted on to walk with me is extremely unsettling.

I’m still in the same house we shared for most of our marriage… From time to time I contemplate moving, but the thought of actually doing it is so overwhelming, that’s *all* I do is think about it.  Both my husband and I were only children, and we had none of our own, so I don’t have siblings or grandkids to “look after me in my golden years”, parents, aunts, uncles are gone now, and cousins aren’t close-by.

Pardon my rambling, I’m just feeling extremely alone & scared these days & don’t know how to make it better.


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