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Widowed in 2011

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Comment by momalone29 on April 17, 2011 at 10:08am
Hi everyone, I'm new here and I'm not sure if I'm commenting in the right spot.  My husband passed two months ago (today).  I dont feel like it is getting any better and it feels worse.  Im really trying to socialize with others that understand.  I just get so lonely.  We were together 24/7.  And I have our 3 month old breast feeding which is really hard but I love our little man.
Comment by Musiclady on April 14, 2011 at 7:42am
Hi SallyStarre.  I won't say welcome because if you are like me you don't want to be here either.  I will say you will find some measure of understanding here because we are all dealing with losing the one we loved. And always feel free to express how you feel here.  We care!
Comment by SallyStarre on April 13, 2011 at 6:20pm

 I lost my best friend and husband on March 12th at 5:05 AM.   He had a heart transplant on January 27th 1996.  We were blessed to have 15 more years together thanks to the generosity of his organ donor.  Although I am so grateful for the time we had I so miss him.  It seems to get worse instead of better.

    

Comment by Kristina on April 13, 2011 at 5:51pm

ShineStar,

I do get so tired of hearing those words "I can only imagine".  I often want to scream "Why would even want to imagine? Just tell me you're sorry, you're thinking of me, whatever." It just points out the already glaring difference between our lives.  I know they care, but I ask myself every day when the pain isn't going to be so fresh. 

I totally hate the word "I" too.  It's almost like a punch in the stomach to have to use it. But then you forget and use "we" and that doesn't feel any better.    I had to fill out a form at the doctor's and checked all 3 boxes- married, widowed, and single.  The doctor didn't say a word.  

Comment by Krista W. (whoknows) on April 13, 2011 at 7:49am
Steph - :) It is good to know I'm not the only one who has done that.
Comment by stephann79 on April 13, 2011 at 7:37am
Dawn - I'm sorry for your bad night/morning.  Let the feelings come, whatever they are, don't feel bad about any of them, give yourself the right to be a mess!  Thinking of you!
Comment by stephann79 on April 13, 2011 at 7:33am

Whoknows - How did I miss that you just said the same thing? :)  Feels so good to not be alone on these things!  Steph

Comment by stephann79 on April 13, 2011 at 7:31am
Lol, I actually wrote in a 'widowed' box on some form right after he died.  I litterally didn't know what else to do.  I wonder what those people thought :(
Comment by Krista W. (whoknows) on April 13, 2011 at 6:52am
ShineStar, I went to the doctor's last week for a sinus infection and had to fill out forms. There wasn't a 'widowed' spot on their forms either, so I just wrote it in. It hurt that there wasn't a pre-printed option on there... it's as though we don't exist, somehow.
Comment by Mary0830 on April 13, 2011 at 6:47am

It is so good to hear from others about things that I feel so alone with.

The idea that time seems to have slowed to a crawl -- yes it does seem that way.  I thought perhaps I was being home alone too much and that I could be try getting out more.  That worked - for about 4 hours before I could feel myself wanting to unravel because there is no 'place' that meets my desire to have my husband back.

 

Filling out forms, or having conversations about I/Me vs Us/We-- Yes - so hard!

I now have a 5 acre place that has a lot of mowing, which is fine because I have a tractor.  I am pushing myself to 'get caught up' with outside work; and yesterday despite being busy and enjoying the birds, sunshine and progress, I just started crying. 

 

I keep thinking if there is a quota of tears, I must be getting closer to done.......doubt it :)

 

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