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Widowed in 2011

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Members: 506
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Comment by asullivan on April 27, 2011 at 6:31am
MsKris, I sometimes just wanna be left alone by common people, but I miss companionship so much. I miss warm loving words or arms from my protector that it's all gonna be alright.
Comment by asullivan on April 27, 2011 at 6:28am
MissHim, I couldn't understand more today is 6 weeks and 5 days for me, last Thursday night it really hit me hard I cried so hard I felt like I had a hangover for 3 days, I officially called it a grief hangover. I don't think your in denial I think you're in reality. I got some lousy paperwork in the mail the other day and went to my husbands grave and begged him to come home even though I know it isn't possible. Somedays I wish I was in a coma dreaming all of this up and when I wake up he will be there by my bedside waiting for, but I know that isn't going to happen either, but if that's what I have to do to cope sometimes, it's just what I have to do. Hope you feel better soon girlie girl.
Comment by MissHIm11 on April 27, 2011 at 5:47am
I agree with so much of what is being said. I am current in the 6th week without my husband but the reality of our new life is hitting me hard now. I thought to myself yesterday, "I just want my life to go back to normal!" And then it hit me, this is impossible. I don't have a "normal" anymore. My husband is not ever going to be here again. Clearly I am still in denial. Praying for each and every one of us!
Comment by MsKris12 on April 27, 2011 at 5:38am
yes, I too find it getting harder.  It has been 12 weeks.  I think the shock, numbness and confusion is wearing off.  I cry more now than I did in the first weeks.  And I want to be left alone and yet, I don't want to be left alone, very confused.  The weather is beautiful and all I can think about is BBQing and Steve wanting to take a ride in the "stang" with the top down (I hate that car! He loved it) Yes, like a varying tide, Jan.  Just an awful, awful feeling.
Comment by jan on April 26, 2011 at 9:10pm

HI,  I also found that things became more difficult after the first couple of weeks, then got better and now, it's been 4 months, and it's difficult again.  Like a varying tide

 

Comment by asullivan on April 26, 2011 at 8:24pm
Dawn, I'm so sorry dear.  I lost my husband suddenly 6 weeks and 5 days ago, and today is officially our 9th year anniversary.  I'm praying that I can find joy in this day instead of sadness, although I'm sure I will have my moment especially when I go to the cemetery.  Anywho I don't know why, but it seems like time should be healing all wounds, but these weeks here lately seem harder then the first couple of weeks.  Be sad, feel empty, cry if you need to, but don't beat yourself up over this.  If you need someone to talk to, you know all of us are here for you, and I will happily give you my phone number if you just need to hear another voice, cry, tell a story, get mad or scream.  Good luck sweetie.
Comment by Dawn on April 26, 2011 at 8:06pm
Things seem to be getting worse instead of better. Saturday will be 11 weeks and I tell ya it takes all I can muster just to breath, the crying is worse, the pain and emptyness is worse everything is worse. Odd to think a few weeks ago I didn't think I could fall any deper than I was and I go to therapy weekly, thankful tomorrow is that day. Although all she really doesn't understand what i'm going thru , it gives me someone to talk to about stuff. I guess being isolated is not helping I truly don't have anyone, Sean and I only had each other it's all we wanted, all we needed. Perhaps I am blown away because not only was his death sudden it didn't have to happen , a phone call, a simple f'ing phone call and he would be here with me tonight..
Comment by momalone29 on April 26, 2011 at 10:37am
Yeah Easter was hard for me too. I couldn't even get on here.  It was just too much.  My husband was a great cook and I miss his cooking tremendously.  He would have made something delicious.  I broke down for a good 30-40 minutes yesterday ... I should have let myself break down on Easter but I struggled through.  And my son doesn't like riding in his car seat. I'm trying to look for one that he will like but I would really like to get out more, not just when my mother comes home from work.  I would like to be able to take him to the waterfront but even that brings back memories.  Michael and I took our wedding photos there. ugh.  Anyway, I hope this week gets a little more bearable for all of us.
Comment by Musiclady on April 25, 2011 at 8:49pm
Hi Tesa, I know what you mean about all the happiness was sucked out of the day...except that I feel like that every day.  I am a very independent woman and I certainly didn't do everything only because of my husband but it feels like everything just doesn't mean as much.  I just keeping doing what needs to be done (or as a very dear friend of mine, who lost her husband after less than 2 years of marriage and with a 14 month old son said, "You do what is in front of you") and hope that some day it will feel differently.  I think you have to trust your own feelings and do what is right for you and your son.  If that means ignoring the day because you can't face it, that's ok.  Just do what makes the day bearable.  Take care!
Comment by Tesa on April 25, 2011 at 5:10pm
Easter was a horrible day..I didn't feel like celebrating at all and my son and I both had what we would call meltdowns missing him so much. It just seemed like all the happiness was sucked out of the day. We did make it through and today seems a little better. I am not looking forward to the end of the week.  Rusty passed on April 5th and April 30th would be our 28th wedding anniversary.  I don't know what to feel.  We were planning before he passed what we were going to do for our anniversary this year as he had been sick.  We had decided we were just going to go out to dinner at a nice restaurant alone together..nothing special just the two of us and now just a few short weeks later (after he suddenly got worse and passed)  I don't have him to go to dinner with on our anniversary.  Do I acknowledge the day or try to ignore it.  If I ignore it..am I ignoring him and the love we shared.  Everything I do I feel like I am trying to forget he existed, such as cleaning out his drawer or sorting through papers and I don't want to forget him..He was a wonderful, kind, gentle man.  I am feeling very confused today and I thank everyone for giving me a place to vent without judgement.
 

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