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Widowed in 2011

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Members: 507
Latest Activity: Jun 14

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Comment by UpNorthWidow on May 11, 2011 at 9:47pm

Yesterday was 3 months since the love of my life was killed in a snowmobile accident.  I am now trying to raise 2 boys - 7 and 9 (who will be 10 tomorrow) without their awesome dad.  How does one keep from just curling up in a ball on the bed? I do it, go through the daily motions of living; but I'm running on autopilot. 

I just can't seem to get past the numb sureal feeling.  Everyday I go about my 'normal' day and just exist. I didn't get to see him for his last few days alive and just the thought of it makes me a puddle of emotion.  I miss him evey second of every day!  My life has been turned upside down and my future seems to be a big void of nothing.  Here I am at 47, a widow with 2 small children and a house that is breaking apart at the seams.

There's my introduction - cheery isn't it?  But I figure this is the one place that I don't have to present the impression of strength so that I don't get the 'look of pity' or the quick exit.

Comment by SallyStarre on May 11, 2011 at 6:39pm

Trying to deal with my husbands death almost 2 motnths ago...
MOm sick and in nursing home scheduled to be released tomorrow to my brother and sisterinlaws home a good thing
Brother who is my rock and stood beside us during RUss's final days was hospitalized today unexpectedly.Just when you think things are getting better you get sucker punched.

Mom cannot be discharged.... who will care for her.
Worried about my brother worried about how we will pay for Mom's care (insurance runs out today) Just how much can you take?
I wish I could go to sleep and wake up when life is less stressful/hurtful/sad

Comment by Krista W. (whoknows) on May 11, 2011 at 3:20pm
Donna, your cell phone comment reminded me of an article about Patrick Swayze's wife, from last fall, saying she found herself sending him a text out of habit, after he died...
Comment by MissHIm11 on May 11, 2011 at 1:18pm
Me too Donna. I had to preregister at the hospital today for the birth of our son. So surreal.
Comment by DonnaReid on May 11, 2011 at 1:15pm
I wanted so badly to call him when I got out of work today to tell him about my day. Sounds like such a simple thing but alas so impossible. Wish they had cell phones in heaven!
Comment by Dawn on May 10, 2011 at 2:41pm
Katlamer0707 , the great thing about this place is that we don't have to be sorry about anything we feel , we can just be.. no worries about sounding crazy , being angry , venting honestly i don't know where I would be without these boards to "sound off" to get some of the feelings out. It's a good thing I am a full time stay at home gramma at 46 because I would have been fired by now if I had a job. I lay in bed and cry most days when the little one is at school , I cry all day everyday probally how I have gone down 40 pounds in 12 weeks , water weight in tears, a chunk of my heart and soul = 40 pounds. I am sorry your here, I am sorry we are all here, I wish there was a "cap" on members , of how many would have to endure this agony, we are at 37 world no more till next year... i know there are more who have not found this site, I hope the ones who need this place like I do find us. <3 to us all
Comment by Abby on May 10, 2011 at 6:06am

Dawn: A year sounds forever for me too....if this level of grief keeps up, I am not sure how i will make it but, only because others have said that eventually you  learn to smile again.....right now, that does not sound like me or ever will. However, you just never know. Even if I am not bereft every minute of every day, what will my life be like without the only man I have ever loved?  I think we owe it to ourselves and the memory of our husband's to "try" to stick it out to see if the veil of grief starts to lift.  Right now I wish they had a pill that I could take a sleep for one year while the grief was sorting itself out without me.  However, of course, there is no easy way out of this hell.

Hang in there and let's keep in touch!


Comment by Dawn on May 10, 2011 at 5:24am

Thanks Abby A year sounds like FOREVER from the feelings of the last 12 weeks but reasonable, for now. I have somethings I HAVE to take care of , I have pills to sleep, pills for pain I wish they had a pill for broken souls.

Thanks Crystal, I feel so selfish when I think of you , The blessing of the beautiful little baby you are going to have, a gift of life , a precious gift of the LOVE the two of you shared for one another and now this. I wish you and your babies lots and lots of LOVE, I wish us all peace..

Comment by MissHIm11 on May 10, 2011 at 3:03am


Since my husband passed on March 12th there has been one event after the other. I feel like I am being slapped in the face with each one. It isn't fair. Life isn't fair. When I pray to God I always end up asking him WHY?? Why did he do this? Why I am left to raise our children? Why am I going to give birth without my husband here? I just can't seem to move past WHY! Why, is the one thing I will never know. My heart continues to break each and every passing day. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I know it doesn't make you hurt any less but I just wanted to reach out to you. 


Comment by Abby on May 9, 2011 at 7:10pm

HI Dawn

I wish I could say something that would make you feel better but all I can say is that I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL because  I feel the very same way. What I am living for when all I want is to be with my husband. Other people have made it through this grief and I am going to give myself a year to see where I am at.  I think we all need to give this process of hell some time before we make a definitive decision about anything. I hate living, I hate that I will be going to bed tonight without my honey, I hate that our anniversary is on Friday, I hate everyone who is married and is able to tell their husband I love you....I hate getting up every day to face yet another day of pain. When will it end? Who knows?  But I think a year is a good time to give ourselves to see if this agony will subside,at best.  I am on my way to bed and had no intention of writing anything but when I saw what you wrote, I felt compelled to let you know that you are not alone, and that I understand how you feel.

Try to have a decent night' s sleep.

Big hugs



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