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Widowed in 2011

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Members: 507
Latest Activity: Jun 14

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Comment by smit09 on September 20, 2014 at 8:30pm

T2,

its coming up to 3 years for me as well, and it seems impossible to avoid.

xoxox'

Comment by Barry on September 20, 2014 at 8:10pm

thank you. Risa had a fear of being forgotten. But everytime i see my grand Vivi i see her.She is 2 goimg on 22. She is the little love of my life

Comment by Cee on September 20, 2014 at 9:01am

And here is my annoyance for the week. Earlier in the week a man came by, introduced himself as being from a church service team that went out to help seniors. One of my other neighbors had directed him to me. At first I was really cautious about it. He said he would come by wed. to see if I had work for them and then Sat would be their work day. I talked to another person I trust and she knew of the group and of people they had helped. So I thought of a couple of outside jobs I could really use help with and looked forward to him coming back on wed. Well guess what, he did not come back Wed or today.  Not the best way to make a good impression for their group.  I was looking forward to it and feel let down.

 I just feel overwhelmed at trying to organize and clean up this place by myself. Some of the lifting and moving I physically can't do. But there is also so much that I don't know what to do with. I get caught up in wanting to find the perfect good home for things that I  don't do anything. It is also hard looking at all the things that were a part of project my husband was working on. I feel so bad that he didn't get to finish them and I feel bad for me that they are not done, I don't know how to do them and have no one to help me do them. ( I have tried several handyman ads in the local paper but either they want bigger jobs, or they don't come to this area or they just never call me back.

 OK off my soapbax. It does help to talk, so thanks for listening.

Comment by Cee on September 20, 2014 at 8:48am

Gail, So sorry about that "friend". You didn't say how long you have been having these weekly dinners, But there are other ways talk to people. If she is busy, she could have been honest and and maybe say to meet less often or at another time. If she really felt you were moving in different direction she talked about it. I know it would still hurt but at least you would understand. It isn't fair to you to leave you, as they say, "hanging"   Let her go and look to find someone who appreciates you.   I wish more of us lived closer to each other so we could get together.

Comment by Slick on September 20, 2014 at 5:12am

Gail..I'm sorry....I would feel the same and have......not nice way to say this either....she should have told you at dinner or called you......hurtful...

I on the other hand am doing this.....every time I meet someone who wants to go out ...I immediately start to come up with reasons why it's a bad idea....and start to sabatoge it..I think I 've had this done to me so many times...that I prefer being alone....I can't get hurt anymore like this.....(:

Comment by Gail on September 20, 2014 at 5:02am
My "friend" who I used to see every week for dinner has told me she can no longer commit to weekly get togethers. She says she is too busy. Am I wrong for feeling like she's telling me that she doesn't have time for me?

The past few months she has cancelled on me about half the time. I'm hurt but just need reassurance that this hurt is justified. Oh yeah I should mention that she dropped off a card at my front door while I was at work so she wouldn't have to see me or talk to me. In it was a note explaining she's too busy.

I had a feeling this was coming. This friendship in retrospect has been fading for a while now. I'm just sad she didn't feel like she could talk to me about this. I guess the friendship wasn't what I thought it was all along.

Widville friends....I need you!

G
Comment by my roses on September 19, 2014 at 10:46pm

My roses

Hi Gail and all of you on this site.  When I went to church about 3 weeks ago I spoke with a lady who had a widowed friend.  This friend had said to her that the worst part of all this was: "we are no longer the number 1 person in someone's life.."  So you have hit the nail on the head.  This last week I was blessed to have a week with a male friend who flew over from another State to see me .  We had a lovely time, dinners out, a film, a botanic park, walks in the forest etc.  There is no doubt that it affects health... we both looked better, our widowed faces looked less "haunted" which is often seen in the eyes.  We had held hands as we walked and hugged each other, and talked about our beloved's.  We need love to survive.

Comment by Cee on September 18, 2014 at 3:51pm

Sorry, looks like it is me that is confused. I wrote to the wrong person.  Glad you had a nice trip to see your nephew, wow what a big boy. Sorry you have been sick hope you continue to feel better.

Comment by Gordy's widow on September 18, 2014 at 2:15pm

ummm cee I have been sick for a week and not on the computer what trip ? I went to Boston in Aug... but no trips planned except to the Drs. LOL man I must have been typing in my sleep LOL HOLY CRAP DO I HAVE EARLY ONSET ALZ?

I did go to buffalo to meet up with some widowed folks on aug 23rd... labor day weekend got visit from my younger brother & family and met my "little gordy " nephew actually named Andrew Gordon... what a doll 12 lbs at birth... 18 mo old and his thighs are as big as my calves LOL  we where very entertained and tired to say the least when the weekend was over. BUT TRIP ???? 

 

Comment by Gordy's widow on September 18, 2014 at 1:58pm

Gail, there will be signs just maybe not the ones you are asking for ... look harder open your eyes... open your heart..... don't think something is a coincidence..... 

 

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