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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2011

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Comment by Gordy's widow on July 4, 2014 at 9:19am

Gail we walk in the same shoes it is so hard to get over loosing your mate, but then to be abandoned by ones so called friends it makes it even harder..... and no I agree with you I don't think a therapist would help... I really don't see how... you h ave to recreate your self and find a whole new circle of friends ( folks here not excluded of course ) but folks IRL......very hard to do ...... 

Comment by Gaining Strength on July 3, 2014 at 6:49am

Gail,

I am so glad you came back. Sometimes when I read what my peers at WV write, I hear my own thoughts expressed in their words. That is one of the beautiful things about this site. We express each other's feelings. I find even when my friends are sympathetic, there is a point at which they do not want to indulge me any further. My children and I have lost close people since his death. I am trying to concentrate more on my job and anything else to fill the day. I feel at loose ends with no anchor. When my husband was alive, we seemed to have more connection. I do not know what it is but we get blown off now. Easy to forget I guess. 

Comment by Gail on July 3, 2014 at 6:17am

I've been feeling down for about two weeks and haven't felt much like writing, but I realized that this place helps me.  So much!  

I don't feel that I can put my thoughts into words very well.  So many of you here on this site have expressed yourselves so eloquently and as I read your words I am thinking that it could have been me writing.  It's amazing (and strangely comforting) to know that we are all going through similar emotions and problems.

Right now, a friend who I thought would never hurt me has disappointed me and I am feeling the sting.  She has never experienced even one loss in her entire life.  She doesn't understand my pain.  Now I feel like I don't have anyone in my life who cares about me.

I MISS DAVE!!! I feel like screaming it out loud.  I'm crying as I write this.  

My daughters want me to go see a therapist.  I just don't know if it will help.  The thought of sitting there and crying and wailing in front of a stranger does not appeal to me.  And besides how will that fix the obvious problem that so-called friends abandoned me?  And I'm alone...ALL THE TIME!!!

I'm so looking forward to getting together with a few of the other members here on the site in about a week.  

(((Hugs)))

G

Comment by my roses on July 3, 2014 at 1:25am

My roses  to Dorothy

I have been noticing that many  of us have not been on the site for some time even months... and  I thought perhaps they were now in a new phase..

But am noticing people are coming back after a break but still finding they are feeling sad etc.  We come back because the world outside has not changed its attitude towards us, or maybe the lonely house has just been too much.Whatever it is... we need  to be where we are understood.

Big hugs to you as well

Comment by Dorothy on July 2, 2014 at 10:34am

HAVENT BEEN IN HERE N AWHILE..

FEELING SO SAD AND EMPTY TODAY..

BIG HUGS TO EVERYONE..

Comment by Cee on July 1, 2014 at 7:03am

Slick, I love your comment of your love's big hands. My husband's was much larger then mine but so gentle, as were his hugs - always made me feel loved and protected.

Comment by Cee on July 1, 2014 at 7:00am

Don't know where my last message went but Sharman I sent HUGS to you and hope things a going better for you.

I agree that people can be so rude. GS good for you in answering back.  My thing is to turn to people who don't say thank you and say "your welcome" love the looks I get, some have no clue.

I have noticed around here more people will smile and say hi or hello as they pass you. ( just don't try to make friends with them or get invited to their activities)

Comment by Gordy's widow on June 26, 2014 at 9:42am

hugs sharman even though 1 day late.... hope you had a soft landing where ever you went yesterday1 

Comment by Gaining Strength on June 26, 2014 at 6:57am

Slick,

This has been my experience also. Even in the hospitals, people do not act as if they care like before. My mom was in the emerg just before  lung cancer diagnosis. She was lying across a few chairs and a nurse came in and told her that she should not lie on the chairs since it did not look good. I asked her if it would look better if she lay on the floor instead and she just glared at me. yet there are some very nice people out there. Those ones must be the angels that walk the earth.

Comment by Gail on June 26, 2014 at 6:50am

OMG, Slick, I know exactly what you mean about rude people.  If I see a child and smile and wave, the mom looks at me like I'm going to kidnap the kid!  Seriously?  

Songs...I am always turning on my car and hearing a song that I think Dave sent for me to listen to.  I love that!  Actually, that's the only way that I feel Dave has reached out to me.  I don't dream about him or feel his presence, but I really love it when I hear those songs!

What I really miss is holding his hand or his hugs.  Boy, do I miss that!

G

 

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