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Widowed in 2011

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Members: 507
Latest Activity: Dec 31, 2018

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Comment by Gordy's widow on July 14, 2014 at 8:14am

thanks slick being away from home with family and 2 nieces ! nephew has been a blessing ( brother & sil too of course ..... ) they all loved Gordy and have been very good to me...

Comment by Gordy's widow on July 14, 2014 at 8:11am

Amen Gaining strength... I hear you but at least you are getting out

Comment by Gaining Strength on July 12, 2014 at 12:02pm

Hi All approaching or have 3 years. I have a difficult time going to restaurants alone. I see other couples talking to each other and that is hard for me. I can walk alone because when I see couples my age, they pass quickly and something else catches my attention.  I hate going to parties where couples do couples things like dancing. I's rather go with my girlfriends. they are special to my well being, even more than my family. I do wish my husband and I had spent more fun  times together instead of brown bagging it and saving for retirement. I remember one day he bought me flowers for no reason and I told him that we cannot afford such luxuries. I know now that I should have been more gracious and thankful that he was treating me well. I am not usually bitter or angry at the sight of happy couples. I am glad that some people still get to enjoy their married lives. I am just sad that I am not one. However, I know that this process was selected for me and while I do not like it, I am resigned to it.  I hope that the universe has something better in store for me and not just heartache.  In the meanwhile, I will continue with my job, my gardening, house cleaning and all the other things that I keep myself busy doing.  Pleasant days to all of you as we walk this difficult path to God knows where.

Comment by Cee on July 12, 2014 at 5:23am

It is hard to hear and see couples.  I am getting better because the only friends I have here are couples. I do some things separately with the wives but in the back of my mind I know they have someone to go home to. It is also hard when I do things with them as couples - like going to dinner etc.   Not that I wish anything bad for them but I wish I could find more people in my shoes to do do things with. I am also not good at doing things alone. So spend a lot of time just sitting here.

Comment by Gordy's widow on July 11, 2014 at 6:55pm

katpilot, I wasn't mad as much as it was jarring to see someone that looked do much like him..... from the side and the back.... not so much from the face, it startled me.... my heart skipped a beat at first.... I am more prone to panic attacks now... but have had them for years.... since my first marriage and my husband then "satan" was an abuser ..... they got better but now I get them again.... scared of  allot if I think too much......     

Comment by Gordy's widow on July 11, 2014 at 6:50pm

I know what you mean I was always after Gordy to take a "real" vacation say to Hawaii and he was " I am trying to save for our retirement"   how cruel and empty that sounds now...... so I tell all my friends , one in particular that wasn't going to go with his 3 girls to FLA, nobody gets to the pearly gates and says "wow, I wish I had spent more time at work" ..... he went to fla with his family.  

Comment by katpilot on July 11, 2014 at 5:48pm

Gordy's widow, I hope you are better after that happened. I know little things like that that I come across hurt something awful and on this day especially.    And you as well missing him.  I hope some day, that won't anger you so much. I don't know what it is about me, and perhaps it's Kathy inside my mind telling me something but when I see people now, I just smile and even though I wish I had it, I am so happy that they do. Maybe too, that I take some of the love they have and stick it in my heart. Love is all around me and even though I don't have her hand to hold, I feel it in my soul, in my heart and then it doesn't seem to hurt so much. I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy. Perhaps Denise, one day you will be able to have dinner alone and see people together without so much sadness. Try saying under your breath, "You have no idea how great my love was", as you look at other couples who never will have it that special. 

Comment by missing him on July 11, 2014 at 5:28pm

I haven't written anything in a long time, but every time I feel a way I visit this site and read some of the post to find that what I am going through I am not on my own.  this morning I decided that I was going to start back walking before I go to work like me and Larry use to do before he dead.  The first thing I saw were three couples walking and talking and laughing, I was so mad that I just turned around and went back home and cried the whole way thinking it just was not fair.  It still hard to see couples happy even after 3 years 6 months. Sending big hugs to each and everyone of you.  

Comment by Gordy's widow on July 11, 2014 at 3:49pm

all I can say is I can relate Denise :( saw an elderly couple at a garden shop the killer was he even looked like I'd think Gordy would in  about 20 years....  I thought I was gonna die! 

Comment by Cee on July 11, 2014 at 2:02pm

Gordy's w, HUGS and special thoughts of you, that you will remember the happy times.


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