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Comment by LucyGoo on September 30, 2019 at 8:31am

Thank you all for your recent support.  Climbing my way out of the darkness.  Helped by good folks and this quote:  "How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."  Winnie the Pooh

Comment by Princess Warrior Widow on September 17, 2019 at 6:18am

Hello Cee.  Sending good vibes that your shoulder heals soon. Hugs to you too. 

Comment by Cee on August 30, 2019 at 9:27pm

hello everyone, this is one of those hard times for me.  we were married 35 years ago and i didn't expect to be alone so soon. i have been alone since 2011 but i really could use his comfort and help now that i fell and broke a shoulder.

 hugs to all of you and may your sad days be brief and may we all find a bright spot in our days,

hugs

Comment by Sad One on August 30, 2019 at 3:40pm

Hello LucyGoo, this is Liz here. I too am at 8 years. I read through your thread here of late. And those were the emotions I was going through earlier this year, and I posted about it here, it was March 2, 2019. I remember feeling what you described. And like I'd been punched in the abdomen at the same time. After I posted, commented Marsha and Lissa, and Mark. They were very helpful. It wasn't instant relief, took some time. But I gradually felt better. I think it was something that I was supposed to let myself feel, to get past it. Looking at the world with a different perspective helps too. Where there was a battle of wits within me, there is silence. ((hugs))

Comment by LucyGoo on August 30, 2019 at 2:22pm

Thank you!  I think it's been a long time I felt the grief so powerfully.  It's hard to imagine now how I survived those early days (and years).  If I did it then I can certainly do it now.  It is just very helpful to know that you all feel this way sometimes too.

Comment by chef (John) on August 30, 2019 at 8:42am

LucyGoo,

Yeah, you still get to post. As Suzan said, this is always going to happen to us. Like all of us here, I still have those moments. You're not alone.

((Hugs))

Comment by Barzan on August 30, 2019 at 5:46am

LucyGoo, You are entitled to feel mad, angry, lost and tired.  I go through a whole menu of emotions at times. I try hard every day to focus on happy and cheerful things.  I, too, have had health issues for a few years but decided that I won't let it define me.  I think you just have to face your obstacles and show them who's boss.  You are a strong person and I am your cheerleader.  Tomorrow it may be the other way around.

Sending big hugs and good vibes.

MissYou,  Glad I met you, too.  Please keep posting.  We're here to listen and we get it.

Comment by MissYou on August 29, 2019 at 6:01pm

Hi everyone, I did lost my wife January 2011, not a memorable year for me but I'm glad I met you all.

Comment by LucyGoo on August 29, 2019 at 4:15pm

Hi all!  I'm finding myself in a dark place these days.  I'm not entirely sure why but I recently had one of those "0" birthdays and am feeling kind of vulnerable.  I've had an autoimmune disease that affects me.  It  is pretty well managed most of the time, but I've been sick and tired for 20 years now.  My husband's been gone 8 years and I'm feeling pretty mad about it all.  I've been doing this long enough to know that the grief comes by now and then and takes me down for a bit, but I'm having a harder time getting back up this time.  Usually, I count my blessings (over and over) and that's enough to help me up. 

I guess writing it here is a way to try to kick start my way back up - at this point no one in the real world - even the most supportive folks - understand how hard grief can hit you, even years later.   Thanks for listening. 

Comment by chef (John) on August 26, 2019 at 2:14pm

Cee,

Do take care of yourself.

Travel plan: I'm going to Spain (Madrid and Barcelona--with a possible side trip to Andorra) on September 28th for nine days. The fun part is that I speak NO Spanish, but having already navigated Hong Kong and Macau with no knowledge of Cantonese, Mandarin or Portuguese, this should be a cinch! If all else fails, I can at least ask the locals if they understand either German or French before resorting to English, since German was my major and French was my back-up language for the German.

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