Widowed in 2011

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Comment by Gordy's widow 1 hour ago

Mariposa GOD BLESS YOU  but as I can not be that positive! this sat is my MIl's Bday, going to take her to a nice restaurant...... not taking my mom last year she showed up 1&1/2 hrs late.... on purpose I am sure..... AND FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT!

Comment by Gordy's widow 1 hour ago

uhm Cee, alcohol LOL

Comment by Mariposa 22 hours ago

Cee- You asked "How have any of you managed to keep a positive attitude?"  The one thing that has helped me is to focus on cultivating gratitude. Even in the horrible time while my husband battled cancer, everyday I tried to find one little thing to be thankful for.  It is kind of like finding one tiny star in the darkest of nights.    I also look for inspirational quotes as well as Bible verses. Nature is also something that can help heal us and keep us positive. Even on a gray day, when we go outside, there is something about fresh air that helps me. I love to be outside and sit on my porch and enjoy the blue of the sky, the green of the trees, and listen to the sound made by the leaves and branches moving in the wind. I try to be present.   In our grief, we are looking back, but at some point we have to embrace the present moment as it is. That is when I try to be thankful for the flowers, the song of a bird, the rain, etc.

Anyhow, I don't know if my rambling is any help. I do wish you peace, comfort and healing.  ~Mariposa

Comment by cee yesterday

Agree this is not the life I expected. It's over 1 1/2 years and like many of you I am having trouble adjusting. Right now I am feeling lost- I don't know what to expect for the rest of my life. I feel caught in the middle - basically to old to really think about having another relationship and/or marrying again, but probably too young to just go sit in a rocking chair and "wait".

 There are days that I wake up thinking of all kinds of things to do, Then I get up and start moving around and the physical limitations kick in and I lose all my motivation. How have any of you managed to keep a positive attitude?

(((((HUGS))) to all of you

Comment by Gordy's widow on Friday

man it must be in the air huh! we would have been putting the boat in the water, and been out on the bike like a doz times, which I still can not ride YET I WILL though..... but not hanging on to my baby it is too sad...... 

Comment by Mariposa on Thursday

Gordy's widow - yes, I hear that voice in my own head.  I realize that my grief does weigh me down and it is hard to move forward at times. I feel as if I am in a fog of sadness for the past week, and it affects my thinking.

Comment by Gordy's widow on Thursday

paula, I don't think they do as they are in a place filled with love and light BUT they can be around us and see us, but not the other way around..... I have been told that my gordy is always around me  I believe that..... I just can't see him but I know he  probably can see me so I think they don't miss us as much if that makes sense...   

Comment by Gordy's widow on Thursday

in side my head is a voice SCREAMING "THIS IS NOT THE LIFE I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE"

Comment by Gordy's widow on Thursday

Dear Juls, you are in my prayers today..... I am there with you, feel exactly how you feel.I am hopimg you get through the day ok  

Comment by Mariposa on May 14, 2013 at 9:14am

Juls and Paula- so sorry for your longing and missing what was lost. I don't know what it is, perhaps the time of year, but I had a hard week last week because I just wanted him to be near, just wanted to be  held in his arms.  Instead, I plod on through another day in this new chapter of life. Adjusting is hard and so many well intended friends and family just don't understand. All I hear is that once I find a job that I will feel better.  A job is not a substitute for the husband I lost or the life we had together.  Thanks for listening. Peace and blessings to all of you.

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