A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
We're so sorry for your loss... and we're here. Say "hi" here, participate anywhere on the site.
This group's greeter is @Janet.
Latest Activity: 3 hours ago
Sending you warm thoughts and hugs today.
I am at the 19 mo mark also. Some days (most) I just want to crawl in a hole and pull it in after me. I come on here mostly to read, wish I could offer the good advice and wisdom that others do.
I do talk about my guy and I don't care if anyone is interested or not. He was a part of my life for so long and there are many good memories and stories about him so why not talk about him when it fits in the conversation. What bothers me is how quickly they think we should get rid of their belongings. I find it hard to just throw/sell/give things away, it is almost like loosing him again. Like his life's interests didn't matter. Why should I get rid of the evidence that he existed. Don't know if I am making sense.
We belong to this group because we can. And how long we stay here is our business. If the time comes we start feeling better and stronger we can be here for the new members.
So HUGS to all of you.
Oh missinhugs (Fran), I understand and agree, i feel like no matter where i turn other than here, people don't understand why I haven't moved forward. I can't talk about him even to his kids, I just don't get it. We were married 21 yrs when he died and I've been widowed 20 months how fast do people think you get over someone not being in your life anymore. I can't talk about him to anyone and I always pretend I'm doing okay. There was also someone who wants to know why i still belong to this group.
I find myself getting angry when I see intact families, or couples, I want to wear a sandwich board saying appreciate what you have NOW YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN IT WILL LEAVE YOU! Like the crazy person in all the movies.... REPENT NOW.... LOL
Gordy's Widow- also, to second what LostWithoutHer(Angel) wrote- there is no shame in wishing that your husband hadn't had cancer. I understand the feeling and it comes out of love for the man you lost. I wish I hadn't lost my husband to cancer either. I don't want to be a widow- but here I am.
This Father's Day was very trying, worse than the first one. I have been trying not to be envious of those families still untainted by death, who still have husbands and fathers, who are still ignorant of what the death of a spouse does really means. Death impact has left an indelible mark in my life and those who have not lost a spouse just do not understand.
Peace and hugs!
Gordy- love your advice! LOL! Tell it like it is! :-)
Relieved that you SIL Tanya does not have cancer. Blessings to you and your family.
Barry, the second year has been harder for me as well, the finality of it all. thinking I can't remember what his voice sounded like as he walked in the door from work... bellowing "hello" .... the panic that sets in .... because I know he is gone from my sight.... the panic that sets in because I know we are two women living alone and i feel vulnerable at times.... it is hard, it is a way of life forced against our wills to except something none of us asked for or deserves. and that really really SUCKS..... ( again sorry I am so crude) compared to the beautiful words like Mariposa shares.... I guess that is my way of venting RAGE! LOL
You know what beautiful butterfly at the risk of sounding crude SCREW THEM they don't know where they would be or how they would feel if they had to walk a mile in your shoes! NO ONE and I mean no one should put a time line on you... they do not have the right. I have been thinking about reentering the job force as well, but with my health problems I don't know how I will feel on a day to day basis but I miss my profession and I miss my old patient base, ( was an RDH in one office for 28 years) they gave me support and unconditional love...... when you let the same gal pick at your teeth for 28 years it's how I met Gordy..... so it wouldn't be the same..... but I was good at what I did, I miss it, so maybe something else i don't' know, then after I think about it i have a bad spell or crippling joint pains.... so I don't know....
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