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Latest Activity: on Friday
Thank you all so much for your kind words...I figured I was normal and so was the grief coming back raw as it was years ago....my health isn't bad but I have had one thing after another...now am facing another possible cancer..I had lung and skin...and breezed through both..so I'm not real concerned but am finding myself wanting my husband by my side as I was his for so many years that he was ill....I just want to have tea in the morning, talk a little about life and giggle when we got to bed...just to know he is here..I have children and they are wonderful . , but I want them to live their lives and not worry about me all the time...Thank you again..you have all made me feel so much less alone....
(((Nannie))) I'm not sure we ever get over missing our loved ones. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Doesn't help when we are alone and things take unexpected turns with our health, home, and just life. That is when I think grieve hits us as we no longer have our rock or have them watching our backs. We seem to be in this world alone even if there are friends and children. They have their life and don't get it nor should they. Having other widow/ers to talk with helps as we have someone who understands and does get it.
Eight years here as well. I agree with Suzan.
Grief can still come up and smack me when I least expect it.
i am glad you found our group and sorry that you, too, have lost your spouse. I also am at 8 years and have experienced overwhelming resurgence of my early grief. We are in our own 12 step recovery of sorts. There is nothing wrong with you. And the fact that you have health problems only fires up the grieving because he’s not there to care for you and you’re left to fend for yourself. I fully understand. Be kind to yourself.
Hugs to you,
Hello..I know there isn't much normal about this journey , but after 8+ years I feel as if I am back to year 2..going to a grief group, not sure if it's helping or hurting...I have had many health problems and that doesn;t help. I miss my husband like I did 8 years ago...did I not finish grieving or does it all just come back at certain times...
Thank you all for the kindness about the book. As more people are reading the book and are from different age groups I am struck by how each demographic, age, etc finds a message or something in the writing to highlight and note. That s rewarding.
And as far as making decisions. I have to laugh at myself over the very real frustration I have making some decisions. Simple decisions. Dumb decisions.
The perfect example is in the spring or the fall trying to decide which duvet and shams to use. For Donna is was easy. She was a designer and had style. She'd say ok time to switch (my job doing it). Then I would get the various ones down or out and Donna would go this this and that and bounce. Me now w/o Donna I take them all out and struggle for hours trying to remember what was used way back. Or fail at design color etc. I am just frozen and angry about how come I cant do this? And being negative. Yup am there and get it.
Mark99 congratulations on your book.
Sorry for your losses, Marsha.
Congratulations on getting the book produced, Mark.
Mark, you are a much better man than I am. There are times that I am in the supermarket, see older couples together, and think, "Damn! That's never gonna be us!" [I once felt a scowl come across my face during one of these episodes, so I have to watch this.] I feel that part of this is a recognition of the fact that seven-and-a-half years later, I'm still here, working my way through things. I'll hit the eight-year mark in July.
I agree that we have been able to make decisions without discussing things with our spouses who had our backs. I have even experienced the axiom that "Not to decide is to decide." I can't say that all my decisions have been perfect, but at least I've learned from my mistakes. Negativity comes and goes at odd times; sometimes it passes within a few seconds; other times it hangs around for the afternoon or evening (The worst experiences are when it hits me in the middle of the night.), and (at certain milestones along this path) remains for days. I expect that this will continue for the rest of my life. Just my two-cents.
Two months after Donna died I was introduced to Michele Neff Hernandez by her brother who owned Ward III where Donna and I went. Michele pointed me to Widowed Village and I never looked back. Being around those who shared my timeline of grief and loss gave me the strength to tell "A complex story of love and death simply told in words and photos.”
If you read it I hope it offers insight and share in my journey.
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