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Born in the 90s

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Comment by Megraf on December 16, 2016 at 7:43am

Yes, Lulu and Mev's Wifey! Bran was so excited of the idea that we were going to try and have a baby. We would talk about what kind of parents we would be. We couldn't decide on a girls name, but we really liked Ryder for a boy. I think the only thing we can do is go day by day, trying not hurt as bad. I thought that time would make me feel better, but it is still extremely hard! How do you guys cope with the pain? Just crying or do you do something to keep your mind occupied?

Comment by Mev's Wifey on December 15, 2016 at 10:34pm

Hey Megraf, it's the first time that i feel that other people too can actually feel what I'm going through.. Because all of us here are going through the same kind of suffering. We too were planning on having kids.. It was our most awaited dream after the religious wedding. We even thought of the names of our kids (Mael if it would be a boy, and Jacey if a girl). Life is very unfair when this kind of things happen to very young people.. People who had everything ahead of them.. I listen to "I Surrender by Hillsong" and sometimes it helps me to cry and scream. I also feel like I lost my whole life.. I don't even know where to turn to..

Comment by Lulu on December 15, 2016 at 6:59pm
Hey Megraf, I listened to the song. Loved it :) We were planning on a baby too. It hurts soo much. His face lit up so much and he started to get all excited and nervous. I can still picture the conversation and it hurts. He wanted children so bad and would often talk about the type of father he wanted to be. He wanted to be cremated and have his urn sit on his children's mantel piece, now he sits on mine. I have no idea how to rebuild my life. Right now my only plan is to figure out how to not hurt so much, then if that ever happens, hope God just takes it from there.
Comment by Megraf on December 15, 2016 at 9:56am

Hey, I am so sorry that we are all having to go through all of this. I am 26 and lost my husband 9 months ago on the 27th. Especially with the holidays coming up, it has been really hard trying to figure out what to do. We just bought a house a year ago, and we were planning on having a baby right when he passed. I don't know about anyone else, but I lost my whole life. If we had 50+ years together, we could say that we did everything that we wanted to do, but now, I feel like I got that taken away from me. He was too young and it just isn't fair. Honestly, listening to worship songs and praying to God has been the only thing that has helped me get through this year. My go to song is Eye of the Storm by Ryan Stevenson. Right now, I just feel so lost and confused about what I am supposed to do with my life. Where do we even begin to rebuild our life?

Comment by Mev's Wifey on December 15, 2016 at 9:04am
Hi.. Yes I am christian and I also listen to praise and worship songs.. I will try the one you mentioned. Yes this is the truth, people tell you that you're so young, life goes on, time will heal your wounds, etc, etc.. But the "life goes on" stuff is the worst part.. You feel lost in every step of your life.. In fact, it seems like you are living a life which is not yours anymore.. Because you start the journey with your better half and wish for a really long life together, but then you get the opposite.. :(
In my opinion, when you lose your spouse when very young, it's more difficult than when you've lived 50 years together, because you never get to fulfill any your dreams..
I totally understand you Lulu.
Comment by Lulu on December 15, 2016 at 6:22am
Hey, I'm so sorry you never got to have your religious wedding. I feel soo lost too. If your Christian (and maybe if your not) there is a song I've been listening to quite regularly called Help Me Find It by the Sidewalk Prophets. I feel it sums up my feelings of being lost. I just put it on repeat and cry/ scream it out. I just don't know what to do. People say 'your young, you'll ... fill in the blank' but I think being so young our secondary losses are soo big. I feel I've lost my whole future too, my dreams and desires left undone. I have no idea what my future looks like now because everything I was working towards and building was wiped away and I'm back at the starting line not knowing what I want or how to even start rebuilding a life.
Comment by Mev's Wifey on December 15, 2016 at 12:40am

Hello.. I am 24.. I lost my husband 6 months ago due to an incompetent doctor.. We have been together since college - for 9 years more precisely.

We had our civil marriage in December 2015 and our religious wedding was to be held November this year.

It was the moment we were waiting for since we were adolescents. And everything was already finalized with our wedding planner.. 

Hoping to hear from any of you soon because right now, I lost all my dreams, projects.. I lost my world in fact..

Comment by Lulu on December 10, 2016 at 1:29pm
Also no worries about being lost. I feel lost now too. As the year wraps up I've been thinking of all the plans we had for it. We were going to have a baby and buy a house. We didn't get to do any of that but being as young as we are I have so many friends doing those things right now. It makes me wonder what I'm supposed to do now with my life.
Comment by Lulu on December 10, 2016 at 1:25pm
Hey, I'm also 26, was married 8 months. I lost my husband 10 months ago suddenly in a car accident. I'm sorry you have no friends where you live but it's always nice making new friends on here who understand you :)
Comment by Kitten4aLion on December 10, 2016 at 5:29am

Hi I just lost my husband Dec. 4th.....we were only married a year and one month. I am only 26 and i have no friends because i moved to a different town and he was the first person i meet here and i just thought hed be here forever and never tried to make friends

I am hoping i can find support from other people my age and im sorry im soo lost atm


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